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Showing posts with label creativity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label creativity. Show all posts
2011-09-24
2011-09-22
Filling the Un
There are many times, I have had that unsettled feeling that I am not productive enough, not leaving a significant enough mark in the world, not clutching onto that brass ring, not swinging on that star. It hits me once in a while, and I ride the familiar roller coaster of unease. It's more than restlessness and just shy of full-blown panic.
On my desk, there are literally 3 novels in various stages of completion, sitting there. There are countless ideas for novels and books in my head. Yet they gather dust in both places. At my work station, I have boxes of beads and bindings waiting to be turned into jewelry. In my drawers, there are paints and brushes, pens and appliques, paper and pencils waiting to participate in my great art project. On my computer are various images and textures itching to be turned into digital art. On my phone, under To Do, is listed a camera that I want to buy and start taking photographs to use in said digital art.
Let's not even mention the other things on my To Do list that need to be done. One of which is bombing my garden because after all that work and money, it is again overgrown with weeds. So much for low-maintenance garden. Time to install grass and put this albatross on the market. I'm not made for this. Give me a self-contained apartment and I'm good to go.
And as I sit, with this feeling of un-achievement. As I wallow in all the things that I could be doing but don't, I ask myself: What the Eff are you waiting for? What's holding you back? Where has all your mojo gone?
Maybe I simply have given myself too many things to do. It could be possible that I'm suffering from apprentice-at-many-things-but-master-at-none syndrome. Maybe, my focus should be shifted from all the things that are not getting done, created, achieved and focus on what I have accomplished to start with.
After a long struggle, I am solidly on the road to losing weight, having lost 30 lbs or so over the summer. I feel like I am carving myself out of the layer of excess baggage I have been carrying around for most of my life. After all, I have lost a small 5 year old that had been piggy-backing on my body. I feel lighter, more accomplished, prettier and more human. I feel like I will achieve the total weight loss that has been my Nemesis and be the woman I have always been inside, underneath, in my head.
That's huge. That mends my self-esteem and how I move about in the world. It helps my gaze meet that of others instead of looking away in shame because of the way I look. It boosts my confidence and self-assurance that I have a place in the world instead of living in a category of people who are constantly being criticized, made fun of or pitied. I am becoming unchained from the stereotype that fits a body type that fits a mental image this society has about people who have looked like me. That's got to be worth as much as a finished novel?
I have been independent and supporting myself for most of my life. I have gotten very little help along the way in paying for my bills, making the decisions that make a life function smoothly, providing the necessities and some of the luxuries. I have managed to buy, sustain and pay for two houses in succession by myself. That's gotta count for something. At least one line of jewelry can equate to this accomplishment.
I have successfully eased 20 years-worth of students into an understanding of how their brains work, an appreciation of literature and the written word. I have made them think, and laugh and be engaged. And I'm still doing it to this day with equal commitment and passion. I love the essence of my job though I have no interest in the politics and agendas that plague the system that has not succeeded in jading me from the things that I love- imparting the brilliance of literature and the students with which I interact. That's surely on par with a gallery of paintings?
Am I famous? Hell no. Will I ever be? Who the heck knows? That doesn't mean I haven't achieved greatness in some small way (yes, I know it's an oxymoron). It also doesn't mean that the novel I have been sitting on, or the jewelry line that languishes in my head, or the artwork that is awaiting to leave my fingertips will not surface. It means that I need to stop focusing on the unfulfilled and start filling it.. bit by bit.
The feeling between uneasiness and full-blown panic begins to ease. I reach for my phone and put "Save for a Camera" on the top of my to-do list.
On my desk, there are literally 3 novels in various stages of completion, sitting there. There are countless ideas for novels and books in my head. Yet they gather dust in both places. At my work station, I have boxes of beads and bindings waiting to be turned into jewelry. In my drawers, there are paints and brushes, pens and appliques, paper and pencils waiting to participate in my great art project. On my computer are various images and textures itching to be turned into digital art. On my phone, under To Do, is listed a camera that I want to buy and start taking photographs to use in said digital art.
Let's not even mention the other things on my To Do list that need to be done. One of which is bombing my garden because after all that work and money, it is again overgrown with weeds. So much for low-maintenance garden. Time to install grass and put this albatross on the market. I'm not made for this. Give me a self-contained apartment and I'm good to go.
And as I sit, with this feeling of un-achievement. As I wallow in all the things that I could be doing but don't, I ask myself: What the Eff are you waiting for? What's holding you back? Where has all your mojo gone?
Maybe I simply have given myself too many things to do. It could be possible that I'm suffering from apprentice-at-many-things-but-master-at-none syndrome. Maybe, my focus should be shifted from all the things that are not getting done, created, achieved and focus on what I have accomplished to start with.
After a long struggle, I am solidly on the road to losing weight, having lost 30 lbs or so over the summer. I feel like I am carving myself out of the layer of excess baggage I have been carrying around for most of my life. After all, I have lost a small 5 year old that had been piggy-backing on my body. I feel lighter, more accomplished, prettier and more human. I feel like I will achieve the total weight loss that has been my Nemesis and be the woman I have always been inside, underneath, in my head.
That's huge. That mends my self-esteem and how I move about in the world. It helps my gaze meet that of others instead of looking away in shame because of the way I look. It boosts my confidence and self-assurance that I have a place in the world instead of living in a category of people who are constantly being criticized, made fun of or pitied. I am becoming unchained from the stereotype that fits a body type that fits a mental image this society has about people who have looked like me. That's got to be worth as much as a finished novel?
I have been independent and supporting myself for most of my life. I have gotten very little help along the way in paying for my bills, making the decisions that make a life function smoothly, providing the necessities and some of the luxuries. I have managed to buy, sustain and pay for two houses in succession by myself. That's gotta count for something. At least one line of jewelry can equate to this accomplishment.
I have successfully eased 20 years-worth of students into an understanding of how their brains work, an appreciation of literature and the written word. I have made them think, and laugh and be engaged. And I'm still doing it to this day with equal commitment and passion. I love the essence of my job though I have no interest in the politics and agendas that plague the system that has not succeeded in jading me from the things that I love- imparting the brilliance of literature and the students with which I interact. That's surely on par with a gallery of paintings?
Am I famous? Hell no. Will I ever be? Who the heck knows? That doesn't mean I haven't achieved greatness in some small way (yes, I know it's an oxymoron). It also doesn't mean that the novel I have been sitting on, or the jewelry line that languishes in my head, or the artwork that is awaiting to leave my fingertips will not surface. It means that I need to stop focusing on the unfulfilled and start filling it.. bit by bit.
The feeling between uneasiness and full-blown panic begins to ease. I reach for my phone and put "Save for a Camera" on the top of my to-do list.
Filling the Un
There are many times, I have had that unsettled feeling that I am not productive enough, not leaving a significant enough mark in the world, not clutching onto that brass ring, not swinging on that star. It hits me once in a while, and I ride the familiar roller coaster of unease. It's more than restlessness and just shy of full-blown panic.
On my desk, there are literally 3 novels in various stages of completion, sitting there. There are countless ideas for novels and books in my head. Yet they gather dust in both places. At my work station, I have boxes of beads and bindings waiting to be turned into jewelry. In my drawers, there are paints and brushes, pens and appliques, paper and pencils waiting to participate in my great art project. On my computer are various images and textures itching to be turned into digital art. On my phone, under To Do, is listed a camera that I want to buy and start taking photographs to use in said digital art.
Let's not even mention the other things on my To Do list that need to be done. One of which is bombing my garden because after all that work and money, it is again overgrown with weeds. So much for low-maintenance garden. Time to install grass and put this albatross on the market. I'm not made for this. Give me a self-contained apartment and I'm good to go.
And as I sit, with this feeling of un-achievement. As I wallow in all the things that I could be doing but don't, I ask myself: What the Eff are you waiting for? What's holding you back? Where has all your mojo gone?
Maybe I simply have given myself too many things to do. It could be possible that I'm suffering from apprentice-at-many-things-but-master-at-none syndrome. Maybe, my focus should be shifted from all the things that are not getting done, created, achieved and focus on what I have accomplished to start with.
After a long struggle, I am solidly on the road to losing weight, having lost 30 lbs or so over the summer. I feel like I am carving myself out of the layer of excess baggage I have been carrying around for most of my life. After all, I have lost a small 5 year old that had been piggy-backing on my body. I feel lighter, more accomplished, prettier and more human. I feel like I will achieve the total weight loss that has been my Nemesis and be the woman I have always been inside, underneath, in my head.
That's huge. That mends my self-esteem and how I move about in the world. It helps my gaze meet that of others instead of looking away in shame because of the way I look. It boosts my confidence and self-assurance that I have a place in the world instead of living in a category of people who are constantly being criticized, made fun of or pitied. I am becoming unchained from the stereotype that fits a body type that fits a mental image this society has about people who have looked like me. That's got to be worth as much as a finished novel?
I have been independent and supporting myself for most of my life. I have gotten very little help along the way in paying for my bills, making the decisions that make a life function smoothly, providing the necessities and some of the luxuries. I have managed to buy, sustain and pay for two houses in succession by myself. That's gotta count for something. At least one line of jewelry can equate to this accomplishment.
I have successfully eased 20 years-worth of students into an understanding of how their brains work, an appreciation of literature and the written word. I have made them think, and laugh and be engaged. And I'm still doing it to this day with equal commitment and passion. I love the essence of my job though I have no interest in the politics and agendas that plague the system that has not succeeded in jading me from the things that I love- imparting the brilliance of literature and the students with which I interact. That's surely on par with a gallery of paintings?
Am I famous? Hell no. Will I ever be? Who the heck knows? That doesn't mean I haven't achieved greatness in some small way (yes, I know it's an oxymoron). It also doesn't mean that the novel I have been sitting on, or the jewelry line that languishes in my head, or the artwork that is awaiting to leave my fingertips will not surface. It means that I need to stop focusing on the unfulfilled and start filling it.. bit by bit.
The feeling between uneasiness and full-blown panic begins to ease. I reach for my phone and put "Save for a Camera" on the top of my to-do list.
On my desk, there are literally 3 novels in various stages of completion, sitting there. There are countless ideas for novels and books in my head. Yet they gather dust in both places. At my work station, I have boxes of beads and bindings waiting to be turned into jewelry. In my drawers, there are paints and brushes, pens and appliques, paper and pencils waiting to participate in my great art project. On my computer are various images and textures itching to be turned into digital art. On my phone, under To Do, is listed a camera that I want to buy and start taking photographs to use in said digital art.
Let's not even mention the other things on my To Do list that need to be done. One of which is bombing my garden because after all that work and money, it is again overgrown with weeds. So much for low-maintenance garden. Time to install grass and put this albatross on the market. I'm not made for this. Give me a self-contained apartment and I'm good to go.
And as I sit, with this feeling of un-achievement. As I wallow in all the things that I could be doing but don't, I ask myself: What the Eff are you waiting for? What's holding you back? Where has all your mojo gone?
Maybe I simply have given myself too many things to do. It could be possible that I'm suffering from apprentice-at-many-things-but-master-at-none syndrome. Maybe, my focus should be shifted from all the things that are not getting done, created, achieved and focus on what I have accomplished to start with.
After a long struggle, I am solidly on the road to losing weight, having lost 30 lbs or so over the summer. I feel like I am carving myself out of the layer of excess baggage I have been carrying around for most of my life. After all, I have lost a small 5 year old that had been piggy-backing on my body. I feel lighter, more accomplished, prettier and more human. I feel like I will achieve the total weight loss that has been my Nemesis and be the woman I have always been inside, underneath, in my head.
That's huge. That mends my self-esteem and how I move about in the world. It helps my gaze meet that of others instead of looking away in shame because of the way I look. It boosts my confidence and self-assurance that I have a place in the world instead of living in a category of people who are constantly being criticized, made fun of or pitied. I am becoming unchained from the stereotype that fits a body type that fits a mental image this society has about people who have looked like me. That's got to be worth as much as a finished novel?
I have been independent and supporting myself for most of my life. I have gotten very little help along the way in paying for my bills, making the decisions that make a life function smoothly, providing the necessities and some of the luxuries. I have managed to buy, sustain and pay for two houses in succession by myself. That's gotta count for something. At least one line of jewelry can equate to this accomplishment.
I have successfully eased 20 years-worth of students into an understanding of how their brains work, an appreciation of literature and the written word. I have made them think, and laugh and be engaged. And I'm still doing it to this day with equal commitment and passion. I love the essence of my job though I have no interest in the politics and agendas that plague the system that has not succeeded in jading me from the things that I love- imparting the brilliance of literature and the students with which I interact. That's surely on par with a gallery of paintings?
Am I famous? Hell no. Will I ever be? Who the heck knows? That doesn't mean I haven't achieved greatness in some small way (yes, I know it's an oxymoron). It also doesn't mean that the novel I have been sitting on, or the jewelry line that languishes in my head, or the artwork that is awaiting to leave my fingertips will not surface. It means that I need to stop focusing on the unfulfilled and start filling it.. bit by bit.
The feeling between uneasiness and full-blown panic begins to ease. I reach for my phone and put "Save for a Camera" on the top of my to-do list.
2011-03-17
Cave Girl
This morning I woke up looking like a Kiss extra. I really should remember to wash my eye make-up off before bed, but sometimes shit happens. Besides, it was good for a morning laugh. It's funny brushing Tommy Thayer's teeth in the mirror.
Now back as myself, gulping morning coffee and pondering on my plans, I am stuck with how many times I have had to reinvent myself. When I went to Greece at age 16, my life had changed drastically. I left the cloistered environment of my restricted adolescence to enter a world filled with fascinating people from all over the world, rife with ideas and enthusiasm, filled with the pit falls of social interactions.
You would think that I would have fallen flat on my face, given the sorry state of my social prowess, and my zero understanding of the male species, other than men who can take the form of a benevolent dictators or preying abusers. Quite the reverse is true. I thrived. For the first time, I had the freedom to be, even though I did not have the slightest clue as to who I was. The truth is I was 16 frozen at 10. Stuck somewhere between the age I was a relatively normal girl to when the darkness swallowed me.
They call it sunny Greece for a reason. I went from a very proper, slightly robotic life to one bursting with the sticky, sweet juice of living. There was noise everywhere. Everyone talked at the same time, with the the same gusto that they laughed, ate, argued and loved. I felt like the cave girl discovered under layers of ice, perfectly preserved and frozen in time. I thawed a little bit more each day, as I became conscious of the world around me once again. I also became painfully aware of myself and the fact that somehow I was very different from everyone else.
Yet, I was deliriously happy and empowered for the first time in 6 years. This set a pattern for me, a pattern I only just recently realized: I am most happy around creative, thinking individuals. I love the chaos of discovery much more than the stability of knowing. I dive into new ideas as if my soul is parched for them. I swim in pools of color and textures. I don't like to lounge in the sun of complacency. I need movement.
Over the years, I have often felt the need to change things up. to experience a different perspective. If I stay stagnant too long, I start to wither. And this is precisely why I have decided it's time to make another step in my life. I need to be around creative people in environments that breed discussion and ideas not conformity and routine. In other words, it's time to stop living a life I think I should be living while yearning for a life I love, and start living the life I love.
Now back as myself, gulping morning coffee and pondering on my plans, I am stuck with how many times I have had to reinvent myself. When I went to Greece at age 16, my life had changed drastically. I left the cloistered environment of my restricted adolescence to enter a world filled with fascinating people from all over the world, rife with ideas and enthusiasm, filled with the pit falls of social interactions.
You would think that I would have fallen flat on my face, given the sorry state of my social prowess, and my zero understanding of the male species, other than men who can take the form of a benevolent dictators or preying abusers. Quite the reverse is true. I thrived. For the first time, I had the freedom to be, even though I did not have the slightest clue as to who I was. The truth is I was 16 frozen at 10. Stuck somewhere between the age I was a relatively normal girl to when the darkness swallowed me.
They call it sunny Greece for a reason. I went from a very proper, slightly robotic life to one bursting with the sticky, sweet juice of living. There was noise everywhere. Everyone talked at the same time, with the the same gusto that they laughed, ate, argued and loved. I felt like the cave girl discovered under layers of ice, perfectly preserved and frozen in time. I thawed a little bit more each day, as I became conscious of the world around me once again. I also became painfully aware of myself and the fact that somehow I was very different from everyone else.
Yet, I was deliriously happy and empowered for the first time in 6 years. This set a pattern for me, a pattern I only just recently realized: I am most happy around creative, thinking individuals. I love the chaos of discovery much more than the stability of knowing. I dive into new ideas as if my soul is parched for them. I swim in pools of color and textures. I don't like to lounge in the sun of complacency. I need movement.
Over the years, I have often felt the need to change things up. to experience a different perspective. If I stay stagnant too long, I start to wither. And this is precisely why I have decided it's time to make another step in my life. I need to be around creative people in environments that breed discussion and ideas not conformity and routine. In other words, it's time to stop living a life I think I should be living while yearning for a life I love, and start living the life I love.
2010-01-01
The Goal not the Goal Post
Welcome to Twenty Ten!
It's 1:30 am, and I have just returned home from a quiet, relaxing evening with friends, and my godson, 7 month old Tristan.
I loved being out late tonight, because I witnessed a spectacular evening.
The moon is full and beautiful, the first full moon of 2010; and it has been drizzling all night. These two natural phenomena have caused the ground to sparkle like a myriad of diamond slivers, and the sky to glow. It's a magical night, to be sure. It's a night filled with promise. A great omen indeed.
This year, I open, not with resolutions or words; I open with goals. Some, I will keep to myself, not as a mystery but as precious promise to me, undiluted by not letting it go out into the world. Yet.
There are a few goals I do wish to share, however.
The first goal is to finish the text that will accompany my Tarot deck. It's been fermenting in my mind for some time now, writing itself in my head, so to speak; it's time for it to come out. :)
The second goal is to start and complete a new art project. Yes, I will be taking it to paper. It's a series of sketches entitled The Genie in the Sea. They will each be accompanied by a poetic prose. More on that later. :)
My third goal is to blog more.
My blogging has fallen a bit by the wayside, partly because I have been busy, but mostly because, I felt I had nothing really to say. Nothing new anyway. I realize that might be somewhat of a skewed perception on my part, and a bit of performance anxiety. I did feel however, bereft of direction in the blogging world.
It's a new year now, with fresh possibilities. We have universal permission to let go of the past and start anew.
The first thing I would like to eliminate is pressure, external and internal. It's time to unshackle myself from unrealistic and impossible expectations, and bask in the freedom that I have to do as I please. It's a luxury. I am well aware of it. One that I am immensely grateful for, one that I do not wish to squander.
In blogging regularly, I maintain a contact not only with others, but with myself. A self-reflection that I share with others. It will be the sharing that adds a certain ingredient to the telling of the tale. We all know tales are meant to be told, not kept in locked boxes.
Whether it be an observation I have made in the course of the day, that makes my mind churn, or whether it is a report on my progress through my goals, I need to make this daily date with myself to write. To write as if no one is reading. To write because I must. Because writing has always been a part of me. Because the spoken word can be careless, can drift aimlessly in the air and be lost. Because without writing there is silence. And the time for silence has not come yet, for me.
These are my first thoughts of 2010. And they are here. In black and white.
It's going to be a great year. Of this I am sure. Happy New Year! :)
2009-10-19
Where in the World
is Genie Sea?
Struggling from under the flu, it's been quite the week at work. There have been meetings every day after work, going late. There will be meetings this week. I have been trying to pace myself, and get as much rest as possible to throw off this cold. It isn't swinish but it's sapping my energy. Cough. Cough. Cough. I have neglected my poor little blog, and my wonderful blogging community. I miss you all and I will catch up.
I do have some good news!
- Rebellion is afoot. Big time. People have had enough and they won't take it any more. Actions are being taken to overthrow the incompetent and tyrannical reign. And it feels good to have allies!
- A wonderful group of highly driven and creative students found me, wanting to revive the school newspaper, and it's happening! Very exciting stuff. We are hoping for our first edition mid-November.
- I finally bought a laptop!
- I finalized the date for my renovations and the reorganization of my house. I will have pictures next week. :)
This weekend past was marked by tragedy and blessings.
A house on our street went up in flames, and we all rallied to support the family. They lost everything. We gave them clothes, and helped them contacted their insurance. It was sad that I met some of my neighbours for the first time under these circumstances, however, it was reassuring to know there are some wonderful people on this street. It was tragic that the family lost their cat, their home, their everything. I send them blessings for a speedy recovery of their lives and home.
My friend's son was baptized this weekend with a soul embrace ceremony that encompassed rites from all religions. It was beautiful and very moving. When I read my blessing to him, I choked up. And the little prince looked like the reincarnation of the Dalai Lama. That's how peaceful he was throughout. We welcome little Tristan into our spiritual community and wish him a golden life. :)
2009-06-17
Wanna Play?
1. come play with me, 2. hoola hoops in as stack, 3. play, 4. Ayyy mista DJ., 5. colour chunks ii, 6. Birds on the wall, 7. playing the nine pins, 8. Palace Play Land, 9. Wanna play?
Did you know that Jamie Ridler is psychic? She must be because she did it again! She picked the perfect prompt for Wishcasting Wednesday! She asks:
Who or what do you wish to play with?
Who or what do you wish to play with?
How did she know that today marks the end of three weeks of intense work hours for me? How did she know that after today, and for the next couple of weeks, I will be ready and willing to PLAY?
And what do I want to play?
I want to be a kid again and play games on a whim.
Tiddly winks and hoola hoops and rides!
I want to get my hands messy with art supplies and run with abandon in the field.
I want to learn how to hoop and hoop til I drop with exhilaration!
I want to make necklaces again like I used to and play with beads and stones and shells.
I want to get my fingers sticky with glue from making collages.
I want to make one huge playful MESS!
I want to get back to djing and play music to get people out of their seats and dance.
I want to play with color and fill my days with PLAYFUL JOY!
I want to play with everyone! My little friends and my big friends.
I want to fill the air with laughter of play.
I wish that every day is filled with the joy of pLaY!
And what do I want to play?
I want to be a kid again and play games on a whim.
Tiddly winks and hoola hoops and rides!
I want to get my hands messy with art supplies and run with abandon in the field.
I want to learn how to hoop and hoop til I drop with exhilaration!
I want to make necklaces again like I used to and play with beads and stones and shells.
I want to get my fingers sticky with glue from making collages.
I want to make one huge playful MESS!
I want to get back to djing and play music to get people out of their seats and dance.
I want to play with color and fill my days with PLAYFUL JOY!
I want to play with everyone! My little friends and my big friends.
I want to fill the air with laughter of play.
I wish that every day is filled with the joy of pLaY!
2009-05-04
Music Makes the World
(click to enlarge images)
These are my entries for Mother Henna's Artist Collaboration: Hero and Shadow. I decided on an urban setting for both these panels, drawing the light and dark aspects for each respectively.
There seems to not be enough hours in the day for me. This weekend was very busy, and I found myself not knowing which activity to choose. I double-booked myself, and that hardly ever happens.
The theme of this weekend was music. It started on Friday with Jamie's Virtual Dance party which I took to class with me. There is nothing more hilarious than asking a bunch of awkward and self-conscious teens to dance in class. Some of them did with gusto, others stood about, not knowing what to do with the situation. One kid tried to video tape me and I put a nix to that quickly. I do not want to see myself on You Tube. LOL! They all had smiles on their faces after the dance sessions, some no doubt inspired by the thought, "Ms. C has lost it!" haha
I took the dancing to the streets so to speak on Saturday, as I found myself dancing through the grocery store aisles. I couldn't help it! The music was fantastic! I got some smiles and some odd stares, but did I care? No?
I went to a friend's on Saturday night because she was feeling down, and we wound up dancing in her living room. There is nothing like shaking your booty to forget a broken heart.
My heart filled with emotion on Sunday night, when I went to a friend's recital. She played like an angel. Her performance brought tears to my eyes and goosebumps all over. My soul danced.
Happiness is such a nebulous thing. Yet, so easy to attain. A little Kool and the Gang, some James Brown, a tossing of Prince, and a coating of Liszt. Mhm. Music makes the world go round. :)
The incredibly talented Arty Em will be interviewing me tonight at 7 pm Eastern here on blogtalk radio. If you have some time. Swing by. I might be dancing. :)
2009-02-27
Alliance Creative
(click to enlarge)It's funny how things seem to fall into place when you finally know what it is you really want and where you really want to go.
Today through Jamie's wonderful book club of 12 Secrets , we are asked to ponder on our Alliances, our Power Teams, real or projected.
I am in the process of creating a Power Team for a project I am envisioning. I call it Alliance Creative. It's a project that will infuse new life into the education system for administrators, teachers and students alike.
I strongly believe that the major stumbling blocks to progress are lack of creativity, an inability to think outside the box, and a reluctance to take chances. Once those obstacles are set aside, and this wonderfully empowering energy is released, the sky is the limit.
What does this dream team consist of?
Women and men who are committed to their own creativity. People who love to inspire others in the pursuit of their "dreams" without judgement or imposition, but with encouragement and acceptance. People who smile in the face of resistance, for there will be lots of it, and use its momentum to create change. People who can voice their opinions and be able to meld them with that of others to create a unified whole.
I picture a light-filled room with this Alliance Creative gathered. Our tools are big blank sheets and crayons, as we map the vision of the future. A future unfettered by past practices, and "this is the way we have always done things" or "when I was in school". A future that takes the technology offered us, and all the valuable non-technological tools of the past, and molds a new vision of what learning is.
The color of this future is not based on the shade of the skin, but the nuance of the palate. The shape of the future is not one dictated by Vogue but one engendered from the vortex of incredible power that lies within each and every one of us.
Alliance Creative is not driven by ego, or the need for fame and fortune, but my the altruistic need to fill this world with people in touch with their creativity, happy with their lives, and committed to the creativity and happiness of others.
This might sound like science fiction, but all the great science fiction authors predicted the future accurately. It begins with my vision, but the vision will be complete after Alliance Creative gets together the first time, and begins the drafting the blueprints.
Who will take the call? I don't know, but I am convinced it will be splendid.
Because, change happens one step at a time. :)
2009-02-11
Perspectives
(click on image to enlarge)My fascination with trees continues with this painting I made in Photoshop last night. I have been trying to work with perspective and light. A different view, another outlook. Looking up instead of out or in.
I am working on perspective in my life as well. Trying to step away and give myself a different view while so many things mull in my head.
Like my art. I know at some point, I need to pick up a brush and start painting on canvas or paper. But sometimes, I feel this subtle pressure, and it's not coming from within. I know some people believe that graphic arts are not as worthy or as "artistic" as conventional art. There seems to be a subterranean hierarchy in the art world. Some artists seem to be more worthy of attention and praise than others. I don't subscribe to that, as I have written at length what art is to me. Yet, I must be honest and say it troubles me at times. It troubles me because there is yet another hurdle I must overcome, or ignore. The choice is mine.
I love painting digitally, for now. It's a training ground for me. It allows me a freedom that manual art doesn't. It allows me the containment I need at the moment to gain confidence in my vision and technique. In my artistic voice. And if some people believe that this art is not worthy of being framed and hung on a wall, then that is their choice. No?
That's not going to change my relationship with my process. And part of my process is blogging about it.
I have been participating in a a lot of blogging initiatives, and they feed my mind and art. I am engaged by everyone's perspectives, and particularly fascinated when that perspective seems to echo throughout the blogosphere. There is movement, acceptance, and support. Some give of it freely to others. Others are concerned with their own. Still others give it only to some. That is all perfectly valid. Each person gives what he or she can or wants to. I like visiting people's blog homes, and sitting down to enjoy their success, give support or presence for their agonies, voice my thoughts on their concerns. This is part of being in a community, which this very much is to me. A tribe, a support group, a family.
That is why I thank everyone so much. You do not know how much your comments mean to me whether they are one word or paragraphs. Whether they are daily or occasional. I welcome them with open mind and heart because I know they are made with the best intentions. And they give me perspective. A new look inside from outside.
I have written at length about my job s a teacher. I am so blessed to love my job, because I believe it is a very important job. My students' future rides on what I am able to impart to them; how I give them the opportunity to grow intellectually and creatively in a safe environment; how I expose them to different perspectives and broaden their own. I sometimes have to overcome barriers of attitude, or trauma, or walls of bigotry, or chasms of language. But I do not give up, because I think it is important; because I think they are important.
I also have to deal with a lot of frustrations, and they almost never come from the kids. Teens will always have that innate angst that bubbles out sometimes in very bizarre ways. I can deal with that. It's the adults who perturb me. Adults who are also in charge of these kids' futures; adults who refuse change or a different perspective; adults who dig their heals in their right to be right, so much so that they become enormous obstacles to everyone's sanity and growth.
Connie over at Dirty Footprints wrote a post about the possibility that the Arts program will be cut from schools.
This is exactly what I am talking about. Instead of cutting a "non-essential" course, as they see it, they need to look at it from a different perspective: the absolute necessity of the Arts not only for students, but for teachers as well.
We have been getting a lot of Professional Development sessions this year, trying to encourage teachers to use more "high yield" strategies. Meaning teachers are boring kids to death.
There are two sides of this coin. Some kids are over-entertained. It's hard to compete with the lure of digital fun and excitement. I don't come with a PVR (TiVo) and I can't be shuffled to play a different tune, but I do manage to keep my students engaged and learning. Why? Because my lessons are varied and creative. Why? Because I am creative.
Then there is the other side. There are teachers who have been teaching the same lesson, the same way for years and years. I don't know how they do it. To me that's water torture. But really, have they been taught differently? Have they been given the true opportunity to try something different? They have been told to, but what good is that?
You can't ask a bear to fly without giving it wings.
Teachers need to be allowed and encouraged to explore their own creativity through workshops, not be sat in a room told that their lessons are not "high yield" enough. Sure, you can bake a cake with a recipe, but it will only be a great cake if you own the recipe. If you love the recipe and the art of making a cake. The Board and the Administration like to dole out recipes without providing kitchens or utensils or ingredients. They say their teachers are bad bakers without giving them the opportunity to experiment with their own baking skills.
That's because the very people who say that teachers can't think outside the box, are firmly entrenched in boxes themselves.
So I am baking an idea. A proposal that I will take to the Board. It might blow their lids, but if they go for it, it will really address the issue not put a little band aid on a gaping wound.
It's time to look up, see things from a different perspective. Enjoy the light playing with the leaves and bursting through the trees. And take one huge, refreshing gulp of breath.
Update: I totally forgot it was Jamie's Wishcasting Wednesday! Doh! But this post fits right in. I wish for my idea to take flight and change the face of education! There! Weee!
2009-02-09
Snowy Dreams
Stellar Jamie, the Princess of Potential, the Empress of Engagement, the Goddess of Gratitude, is once again hosting the Full Moon Dreamboard!
And of course I'm playing!
(click on image to enlarge)
I love each and every one of you and all your blogs that are abundant with inspiration, reflection, creativity, growth and love.
I love my friends who have been there for me, one way or another.
I love my Stinky, who has been my most loyal companion.
I love myself through thick or thin, down or up, inspired or low, happy or sad.
I love this earth, the waters, the trees, the air, the valleys, the clouds, the deserts, the snow, the rain, the sun, the grass, the flowers, the critters big and small.
I love the young. I love my goddaughter, little children, and babies, my students, those who need love and caring and guidance.
I love life, for it has blessed me with health and home, experience and wisdom, love and loss, discovery and purpose, freedom and light.
I love music for all the wonder and happiness it has brought me.
I love art for its soulful expression and the miracles it contains.
I love the Universe and all its enchantment!
I am sending love to all those who are suffering loss in Australia.
This full moon, I manifest the romantic, soulful, authentic, exciting, fulfilling, sexy, inspiring love of my mate whoever he may be. Hurry up already! :)
What do you wish to manifest this month?
And of course I'm playing!
(click on image to enlarge)This full moon is about the heralding of spring and new growth. It is about the melting snow and all the life-giving goodness that lies underneath, waiting to sprout into new promise.
So this Full Moon:
I am dreaming of and manifesting LOVE!
So this Full Moon:
I am dreaming of and manifesting LOVE!
I love each and every one of you and all your blogs that are abundant with inspiration, reflection, creativity, growth and love.
I love my friends who have been there for me, one way or another.
I love my Stinky, who has been my most loyal companion.
I love myself through thick or thin, down or up, inspired or low, happy or sad.
I love this earth, the waters, the trees, the air, the valleys, the clouds, the deserts, the snow, the rain, the sun, the grass, the flowers, the critters big and small.
I love the young. I love my goddaughter, little children, and babies, my students, those who need love and caring and guidance.
I love life, for it has blessed me with health and home, experience and wisdom, love and loss, discovery and purpose, freedom and light.
I love music for all the wonder and happiness it has brought me.
I love art for its soulful expression and the miracles it contains.
I love the Universe and all its enchantment!
I am sending love to all those who are suffering loss in Australia.
This full moon, I manifest the romantic, soulful, authentic, exciting, fulfilling, sexy, inspiring love of my mate whoever he may be. Hurry up already! :)
What do you wish to manifest this month?
2009-02-01
Box of Creative Goodies
(click on image to enlarge)Creative Goodies Meme
I decided to create this meme to get the creative juices going when I languish in the valleys of inspiration.
For each question there are three answers:
Type each answer into Flickr search. Choose an image from only the first page that comes up, then copy and paste each of the URL’s into the mosaic maker .
Et voila! You have your box of Creative Goodies!
1. What three things/objects inspire you to play?
a.
b.
c.
2. What three places invoke a dream state for you?
a.
b.
c.
3. What three artists/artistic styles do you most admire?
a.
b.
c.
4. What three things do you do to lift your energy?
a.
b.
c.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My answers:
1. What three things/objects inspire you to play?
a. 3D Digitals
b. Art Supplies
c. Magazines
2. What three places invoke a dream state for you?
a. Light houses
b. Tree Houses
c. Purple Sunsets
3. What three artists/artistic styles do you most admire?
a. Magic realism
b. Art Deco
c. Art Nouveau Architecture
4. What three things do you do to lift your energy?
a. Music and dancing
b. Walking
c. Going for a coffee with my journal and a book
If you do it, please feel free to use Mr Linky's widget below, and I will pop on by and cheer your box of creative goodies! :) Make sure you add the post URL not the blog URL. Have FUN! :)
2009-01-11
Cynics and Scapes
I had a couple of "encounters" yesterday with people from the Tribe of Negative. They spewed their cynicism and criticism, trying to dominate a foothold into my consciousness. Guess what happened? They didn't succeed.
I can be a cynic. I have been accused by those who judge too quickly that I am. Sometimes truth can be seen as cynicism. Sometimes when I point out the disingenuous, I can be called a cynic. But I have not put someone down, and certainly not for the sake of making myself feel better.
I can be sarcastic. Hello? I'm a Capricorn. We have it patented. But, my sarcasm is more societal than personal. My sarcasm is my sharp wit, but it is not used to cut someone up into shreds (unless they ask for it). Not to make myself feel smarter than someone who is feeling low. I don't take someone's genuine intent and belittle it, publicly, for the sake of humour so my nasties can laugh. That's just playground bully tactics.
I often tell my students that there is an intrinsic difference between a critique and criticism. And that is in intent.
When one critiques, one takes an objective look at a product, and assesses it first for its successful aspects, and then makes suggestions for its aspects that fall short. Critiques are valuable both to the creator and to the person offering his/her opinion. It is not a personal attack.
Criticism is. People use criticism to find fault, to belittle, to tear apart someone's genuine effort. The critic pretends to be objective, but the criticism takes on an ugly face. It attacks the creator through his/her creation.
I know many will not agree with this differentiation, but it is key. There is value in pointing out where something can be bettered, where weaknesses can become strengths, and anyone who offers their work up for public consumption must be prepared for it.
The problem is, we now live in a society where tearing someone down has become this mob mentality of gleeful destruction. Look at any "entertainment news" show. Read some reviews. Go to some "spoof" blogs whose sole purpose is to make their cronies laugh at the expense of someone else's genuine attempts/endeavours.
Anyway. I had to get that out! Thank you for indulging me. :)
I am not going to go into further details, because these people do not need encouragement or acknowledgment. But I will thank them. Because they showed me their true colors, and they showed me who I do not want in my life. And that is wonderful! :)
So now. Art.
(click on image to enlarge)
I have always been engrossed by trees. Metaphorically they offer their root system for grounding, their reaching up toward the sun for freedom, their many faces for emotions. Spiritually, they offer the solace of endurance, stability, nourishment, and safety. Trees can be majestic or frightening, depending on the setting, the circumstances, the scene. There are so many types of trees, each with his/her own personality. They bear fruit. They flower. They carry houses where laughter and secret societies bloom. They sway in the tropical breezes, or shiver in the frosty fog. Trees are tall and stately, or dwarfed and knotty. They have faces; they have life force; they have wisdom. Trees are just plain magical. So I painted trees. In PS for the first time. And guess who came to visit? Little red and a magpie! :) But I didn't stop there. :)
I have always been captivated by graphic novels, anime, and their artistic style. So I decided, I would experiment to see what I could do with it. Remember, I'm a total newbie. But here it is:
(click on the image to enlarge)
I painted the girl and man trying to make it as stylized as my outdated PS and mouse will allow. (I simply must get a tablet!) I worked on the shading, and its a bit off kilter, but trust me when I say, hours of work on them and multiple layers to even approximate the effect I was going for.
Some of you might recognize this man. He has appeared in two of my Tarot cards, and is a face that recurs.
The backdrop is from a picture a friend sent me long ago of a neighbourhood in NYC. She didn't include the name of the place and I have long ago lost track of her (sad), so I cannot enlighten you. I manipulated the light and texture to make it more stylized to go with the effect I am trying to create. Et voila! Toonscape.
I am committed to trying as many new things and styles as possible in my creative ventures.
One thing I have been mulling over was to resurrect an online magazine (e-zine) I started a few years back with a partner who dropped out almost immediately because of personal issues. It was a tongue-in-cheek woman's magazine hosted by a character we created called "Moana". We called the magazine "Ola! Moana". My friend, Danette, drew most of the images that went with the various sections. It has been now prodding me daily and the idea is now screaming. "Make me into a new blog!"
Can I ignore screaming?
I don't even know where I have put all the material. Do I start from scratch? Can I keep up with this blog and all the wonderful bloggers, the two blog projects I am participating in, my art, my job and this?
I have a lot to think about, no?
What do you think? :)
May your days be merry, full of wonderful scapes and no nasties! :)
Blessed be :)
I can be a cynic. I have been accused by those who judge too quickly that I am. Sometimes truth can be seen as cynicism. Sometimes when I point out the disingenuous, I can be called a cynic. But I have not put someone down, and certainly not for the sake of making myself feel better.
I can be sarcastic. Hello? I'm a Capricorn. We have it patented. But, my sarcasm is more societal than personal. My sarcasm is my sharp wit, but it is not used to cut someone up into shreds (unless they ask for it). Not to make myself feel smarter than someone who is feeling low. I don't take someone's genuine intent and belittle it, publicly, for the sake of humour so my nasties can laugh. That's just playground bully tactics.
I often tell my students that there is an intrinsic difference between a critique and criticism. And that is in intent.
When one critiques, one takes an objective look at a product, and assesses it first for its successful aspects, and then makes suggestions for its aspects that fall short. Critiques are valuable both to the creator and to the person offering his/her opinion. It is not a personal attack.
Criticism is. People use criticism to find fault, to belittle, to tear apart someone's genuine effort. The critic pretends to be objective, but the criticism takes on an ugly face. It attacks the creator through his/her creation.
I know many will not agree with this differentiation, but it is key. There is value in pointing out where something can be bettered, where weaknesses can become strengths, and anyone who offers their work up for public consumption must be prepared for it.
The problem is, we now live in a society where tearing someone down has become this mob mentality of gleeful destruction. Look at any "entertainment news" show. Read some reviews. Go to some "spoof" blogs whose sole purpose is to make their cronies laugh at the expense of someone else's genuine attempts/endeavours.
Anyway. I had to get that out! Thank you for indulging me. :)
I am not going to go into further details, because these people do not need encouragement or acknowledgment. But I will thank them. Because they showed me their true colors, and they showed me who I do not want in my life. And that is wonderful! :)
So now. Art.
Treescape
(click on image to enlarge)I have always been engrossed by trees. Metaphorically they offer their root system for grounding, their reaching up toward the sun for freedom, their many faces for emotions. Spiritually, they offer the solace of endurance, stability, nourishment, and safety. Trees can be majestic or frightening, depending on the setting, the circumstances, the scene. There are so many types of trees, each with his/her own personality. They bear fruit. They flower. They carry houses where laughter and secret societies bloom. They sway in the tropical breezes, or shiver in the frosty fog. Trees are tall and stately, or dwarfed and knotty. They have faces; they have life force; they have wisdom. Trees are just plain magical. So I painted trees. In PS for the first time. And guess who came to visit? Little red and a magpie! :) But I didn't stop there. :)
I have always been captivated by graphic novels, anime, and their artistic style. So I decided, I would experiment to see what I could do with it. Remember, I'm a total newbie. But here it is:
Toonscape
(click on the image to enlarge)I painted the girl and man trying to make it as stylized as my outdated PS and mouse will allow. (I simply must get a tablet!) I worked on the shading, and its a bit off kilter, but trust me when I say, hours of work on them and multiple layers to even approximate the effect I was going for.
Some of you might recognize this man. He has appeared in two of my Tarot cards, and is a face that recurs.
The backdrop is from a picture a friend sent me long ago of a neighbourhood in NYC. She didn't include the name of the place and I have long ago lost track of her (sad), so I cannot enlighten you. I manipulated the light and texture to make it more stylized to go with the effect I am trying to create. Et voila! Toonscape.
I am committed to trying as many new things and styles as possible in my creative ventures.
One thing I have been mulling over was to resurrect an online magazine (e-zine) I started a few years back with a partner who dropped out almost immediately because of personal issues. It was a tongue-in-cheek woman's magazine hosted by a character we created called "Moana". We called the magazine "Ola! Moana". My friend, Danette, drew most of the images that went with the various sections. It has been now prodding me daily and the idea is now screaming. "Make me into a new blog!"
Can I ignore screaming?
I don't even know where I have put all the material. Do I start from scratch? Can I keep up with this blog and all the wonderful bloggers, the two blog projects I am participating in, my art, my job and this?
I have a lot to think about, no?
What do you think? :)
May your days be merry, full of wonderful scapes and no nasties! :)
Blessed be :)
2009-01-09
Dilemmas and Fruit
(click on image to enlarge)I was feeling kinda fruity last night, after an eventful day at work. So I experimented some more with Photoshop. As I said yesterday, I wanted to combine my digital manipulation skills with painting using this program. So here is my first attempt. The background is peeled clementines in a watercolor effect. The girl, "Clementine", is a manipulated photo of one of her namesakes. I pushed and prodded and painted and highlighted and tweaked a clementine into a face. The hair is a manipulation of the leaves. I added some clementines for her headdress, then played around with light and colors. Le voila!
So, while you ponder Clementine, here is today's installment, of Genie's Dilemma. The three page directive went over quite well with the department. I have heard no grumblings; instead people seemed engrossed in it. I got all the exams revised according to specs. AH!
Of course, since things were going so smoothly, another lovely new challenge fell into my lap, well, actually, into my mailbox. The posting for my position (Curriculum Leader) and for the Assistant CL were placed in my box, as a subtle reminder that I need to reapply for this job if I want it for another year.
Do I want it for another year? Sheesh. Can't I have one day of peace? heh
Renata, who is the ACL right now was supposed to have the job for another year, and was surprised and delighted to find out that it was posted again. She doesn't want to reapply.
Do I? Of course, I have very little time to think about this...
Deep in thought, I made yet another fruity concoction with Photoshop (PS).
(click on image to enlarge)I used my other favorite fruit, the pomegranate. It inspired a "Little Red Riding Hood" theme. I took a photo of a half pomegranate, and manipulated, painted, shaded, pushed and prodded it into her face. I duplicated the layer, and manipulated it to create her hood. The background image is a plate of pomegranates in watercolor brush, softened so as not to overpower the main figures. Then I painted a hand and a pomegranate that is being offered to her as "bait"? "reward"? Something?
I have a lot to think about today. I know I have achieved much, with Renata, in less than a year, and I can be proud of my accomplishments. There have been endless sources of frustrations, but these will exist whether I take this position for another year or not. The difference then will be, I will have no control over the situation, and it might easily revert to what it was before we put in all this work. IF I take the job, it will mean I might be working with someone who won't be as easy to work with as Renata. Maybe no one at all, since no one applied for the position I have right now in six rounds of postings last year. Did I mention our school does not have the best of reputations right now? Do you wonder why, reading my rants? :)
I will be still, and listen to what the Universe whispers to me.
As part of the process of becoming more authentically me, I am participating in another amazing blogging book club 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women hosted by the Incomparable and Highly Creative, and Resourceful, and Amazing Jamie!
I will be blogging about this daily, but I want to start by acknowledging my creative past.
I was always a creative kid. Doodling, fascinated with beads, filling notebooks with gibberish even before I understood human language. My father was an artist himself, an architect and a lover of all the arts. He made sure my life was steeped in the beauty of music, the lyricism of fine arts, the enchanting lines of architecture, the wonder of photography.
It was not until I entered the school system that I started to feel that being eroded day by day with constant criticism, constant comparison, constant rules.
- I wrote my first poem at age 8 about a butterfly. My teacher laughed at it.
- I was in a choir in elementary school. Our teacher would walk around to listen to us, and she told me to lip sync because I was throwing the others off.
- In my grade 8 art class, my watercolor of a woman was scoffed at by the teacher saying it looked more like a bull frog!
- I took piano lessons for 8 years (a lot of 8's) and when I joined the conservatory, my piano teacher screwed up his face like he swallowed a whole grove of lemons, and said "You have a lovely musicality (enter lemon face) but your technique is appalling."
Did that stop me? In some ways, yes (I gave up the piano and was afraid to sing). In some ways, no (I kept writing and painting).
I hated school until I went to university. There I found praise, encouragement, and respect for my creations and my ideas. I found professors who were not only creative themselves but who inspired creativity in us through their assignments.
What has it taught me? To be a better teacher. To encourage my students' creativity, to give them choices, to honor their interpretations and respect their visions. Because no matter what, no one has the right to shut someone else down because they see the world, and paint it, in a different light.
That is what I have learned.
I hope your days are bright, your decisions easy and your creativity fruitful! :)
Blessed be :)
2009-01-02
FUN BABY!
The wondrous Molly at Her Speak came up with a wonderful idea of having a year Anthem. And after much consideration the following is mine! (Warning: Some spoilers if you haven't seen Wall-E)
The song makes my heart dance and this video absolutely encompasses the spirit of PLAY! Could You Be Loved? Mhmm, yeah baby! :)
Stay tuned for more play throughout the day! :) This is just the beginning! Weee!
And now, introducing the Flames suit of my Tarot deck!
I will giving more details about each card later, but for now, enjoy! I am off to the antique store to see about that side board! Wish me luck! :)
HERE IT IS! MY dream side board... I sigh! Look at the price and no lay-away plan :( I'm calling the boss on Monday!
I welcome your thoughts on the matter... This side board or a laptop? :)
The song makes my heart dance and this video absolutely encompasses the spirit of PLAY! Could You Be Loved? Mhmm, yeah baby! :)
Stay tuned for more play throughout the day! :) This is just the beginning! Weee!
And now, introducing the Flames suit of my Tarot deck!
I will giving more details about each card later, but for now, enjoy! I am off to the antique store to see about that side board! Wish me luck! :)
HERE IT IS! MY dream side board... I sigh! Look at the price and no lay-away plan :( I'm calling the boss on Monday!
I welcome your thoughts on the matter... This side board or a laptop? :)
2009-01-01
Good Morning New Year!
(click on image for bigger view)I am up and about, with my first coffee of the year warming my hands and tummy. Yum! It's quiet and warm in my home. The furnace is buzzing economically, the sun is pouring in through the shades. My head is pleasantly fuzzy, awaiting the effects of the coffee.
Today is the first day of the rest of the year and I intend to make the best of it!
Starting with Creative Every Day Challenge.
This month's theme is "PLAY", and I am so playing. To start off my festivities I created a digital collage of all the art supplies I am planning on playing with! It's filling up my imagination like stars in my eyes. I am so excited to carry on with my crafty plans!
Step One: Make my now mostly unused dining room into a studio. This requires that I make a work/dining table that will allow me the space to create. I will also have to remove the low-hanging light fixture and replace it with pot lights. It also means replacing the two side tables I have stacked on top of each other and buy a sideboard/cupboard to house my personal and art supplies.
Step Two: Designing and making the table (yes myself if I have to!). I picture an unfinished wood table top, that is large enough to afford me room to play and to be used as a dining table that seats 6. It also needs to be able to slant at a 45° angle to make it easier to work. It needs to have a drip mote running around the table. I don't know what the technical term for it is, but it will catch any spills before they hit my floor. The legs need to have embedded wheels to allow smooth movement without killing my hardwood floor. The table will have drawers at three sides to allow for storage of small items and materials (stickers, beads, brushes, stones, trinkets, feathers, shells etc.)
Step Three: I found this perfect side board/cupboard at an antique store. I fell in love with it. It's four feet in height and pretty wide with lots of drawers and cupboard with doors in the center. It would be PERFECT! except it costs 1,200 smackeroos! I am going to go there tomorrow to see if I can do a lay-away plan. I simply must have it, if it's still there.
Step Four: Replacing the hanging light fixture with pot lights is not something I wish to try doing myself so I will see if I can engage someone to do it for me on a barter system. The dimming switch will allow me to create the ambiance I need. :)
Step Five: Getting rid of the furniture I have there now. That means selling or giving them away. I am cool with either one. Or even maybe trying an exchange. Everyone needs something and wants something gone. So who knows? I will need to replace the chairs, but I would be happy with getting mix and match chairs from antique places and making cushions for them.
Step Six: Gathering my materials. I have a lot of art/writing supplies squirreled away in many places, unused. It's time to take stock in what I have and what I will need. Once the furniture is in place, the materials can take their rightful places where they can be used!
Step Seven: Replacing my desktop computer that is now nine years old with a laptop. This will afford me the luxury of space and mobility. I can get rid of this desk and reclaim my living room as just that. :>
Quite ambitious, no? But I really want to actualize this vision because this space is the heart of my house and it's unused. How un-Feng Shui is that? Having a studio space will set the stage for what I have always yearned to do, and by George (who is this George anyway?) I will do it! If any of you have any suggestions, I would greatly welcome them!
What visions do you wish to bring to fruition in 2009 and how do you plan on doing it? :>
May play be part of your every day! :>
2008-12-30
Cups and Balloons - Meanings
I have completed the Flames suit, and I am halfway through the final Crystal Suit. The momentum of creation has taken on a life of its own and is sweeping me along with it. Because of this, I need to pause and properly introduce the completed suits before I unveil the final two.
From the Balloon suit, I have not posted: (click on the images to see their actual size)
This card traditionally represents deep sorrow, and I have stayed true to the meaning by depicting the woman in an almost fetal position on the ground. The balloons are weighed down by a brick at her feet. It is within her power to set the balloons free by untying the brick and finding her bliss, as depicted by her spirit self jumping in glee.
This card is traditionally depicted as a knight lying down in a church. The card speaks of spiritual ease and a connection to the divine. The woman resting on a mattress buoyed by a large balloon and carried into the sky by three other balloons tied to her in the bed, is a card of deep peace and abandon. Let go, and let the universe take over.
This card traditionally speaks of defeat, and I have portrayed this with the woman holding on to balloons that the wind is threatening to carry away. One indeed has escaped her, and is floating away. The meaning is clear. It is within our grasp to accept what we can control and what we cannot.
I designed this card heavily influenced by numerology. This card is of spiritual awareness. In looking beyond the surface of things into the soul of the matter. This is why in the balloon are the images of devas, faint, but present. You can click on the image to make it larger to see the detail.
This card traditionally represents restriction, imprisonment, and deep emotional turmoil. I wanted to convey this in a gentler way, showing that there is always freedom waiting to lift us up out of the shadows.
I have depicted this card as a gentle reminder that no matter how constricted or hopeless a situation seems, there is always a way out (the window). Instead of being enslaved by swords, the woman in the card can easily use that which is causing her to much agony as a tool for liberation and growth.
This card is usually depicted as one of extreme sorrow, depression, and defeat. I seriously think that one who experiencing these does not need a card to remind him/her of it. I certainly recoil from the traditional depiction of the 10 of swords. It's simply yucky. Instead, I designed the card depicting a man scaling a skyscraper, a seemingly impossible task, but around him are his guides and helpers - the Balloons. :)
From the Cups suit, the following are the cards I have not yet posted: (feel free to click for larger images)
My interpretation is close to the traditional five of cups which depicts a person focusing on the two cups that are spilled without looking behind him to see that there are three full cups. I chose to make this my first "urban" depiction because it reminds me of my students who often do not realize that they have so much more to offer than they think. This card is about faith in one's self and in the Universe's limitless ability to provide us with exactly what we need. Ergo the word "believe" in graffiti on the wall and the happy face cup spray painted beneath it. :)
On this card, I have put the traditional symbols in a modern context. The empty beer/wine bottles and glasses illustrate depletion of resources and waste. The man is walking away, slightly defeated, but all he has to do is look up and see the wonderful vista before him :)
This is the card of fullness and commerce. I have given it a modern setting, and context of the street coffee vendor. A good cup of coffee is very satisfying, and the vendor certainly has a successful venture on his hands. It's a win-win situation! :)
This card is very similar in imagery with the traditional deck. It is a card of supreme happiness and love. The family, the ocean, the rainbow, the doves, the butterflies, the falling rose petals and coins, all symbolize abundance in every area of life.
And last but certainly not least, I present the King of Cups. The setting of this card, like for the Queen of Cups, is in the depths of the ocean. This King is a provider, someone who likes to make sure everyone is not lacking in anything. The epitome of generosity, he is the master of the depths of emotion, in tune with his and others' feelings and not afraid to express himself. An explorer of life, he is the life of the party, sometimes too much so, if you know what I mean :)
That's it for now! Stayed tuned for the grand unveiling of the Flames and Crystals. :)
Blessings to all of you :)
From the Balloon suit, I have not posted: (click on the images to see their actual size)
This card traditionally represents deep sorrow, and I have stayed true to the meaning by depicting the woman in an almost fetal position on the ground. The balloons are weighed down by a brick at her feet. It is within her power to set the balloons free by untying the brick and finding her bliss, as depicted by her spirit self jumping in glee.
This card is traditionally depicted as a knight lying down in a church. The card speaks of spiritual ease and a connection to the divine. The woman resting on a mattress buoyed by a large balloon and carried into the sky by three other balloons tied to her in the bed, is a card of deep peace and abandon. Let go, and let the universe take over.
This card traditionally speaks of defeat, and I have portrayed this with the woman holding on to balloons that the wind is threatening to carry away. One indeed has escaped her, and is floating away. The meaning is clear. It is within our grasp to accept what we can control and what we cannot.
I designed this card heavily influenced by numerology. This card is of spiritual awareness. In looking beyond the surface of things into the soul of the matter. This is why in the balloon are the images of devas, faint, but present. You can click on the image to make it larger to see the detail.
This card traditionally represents restriction, imprisonment, and deep emotional turmoil. I wanted to convey this in a gentler way, showing that there is always freedom waiting to lift us up out of the shadows.
I have depicted this card as a gentle reminder that no matter how constricted or hopeless a situation seems, there is always a way out (the window). Instead of being enslaved by swords, the woman in the card can easily use that which is causing her to much agony as a tool for liberation and growth.
This card is usually depicted as one of extreme sorrow, depression, and defeat. I seriously think that one who experiencing these does not need a card to remind him/her of it. I certainly recoil from the traditional depiction of the 10 of swords. It's simply yucky. Instead, I designed the card depicting a man scaling a skyscraper, a seemingly impossible task, but around him are his guides and helpers - the Balloons. :)
From the Cups suit, the following are the cards I have not yet posted: (feel free to click for larger images)
My interpretation is close to the traditional five of cups which depicts a person focusing on the two cups that are spilled without looking behind him to see that there are three full cups. I chose to make this my first "urban" depiction because it reminds me of my students who often do not realize that they have so much more to offer than they think. This card is about faith in one's self and in the Universe's limitless ability to provide us with exactly what we need. Ergo the word "believe" in graffiti on the wall and the happy face cup spray painted beneath it. :)
On this card, I have put the traditional symbols in a modern context. The empty beer/wine bottles and glasses illustrate depletion of resources and waste. The man is walking away, slightly defeated, but all he has to do is look up and see the wonderful vista before him :)
This is the card of fullness and commerce. I have given it a modern setting, and context of the street coffee vendor. A good cup of coffee is very satisfying, and the vendor certainly has a successful venture on his hands. It's a win-win situation! :)
This card is very similar in imagery with the traditional deck. It is a card of supreme happiness and love. The family, the ocean, the rainbow, the doves, the butterflies, the falling rose petals and coins, all symbolize abundance in every area of life.
And last but certainly not least, I present the King of Cups. The setting of this card, like for the Queen of Cups, is in the depths of the ocean. This King is a provider, someone who likes to make sure everyone is not lacking in anything. The epitome of generosity, he is the master of the depths of emotion, in tune with his and others' feelings and not afraid to express himself. An explorer of life, he is the life of the party, sometimes too much so, if you know what I mean :)
That's it for now! Stayed tuned for the grand unveiling of the Flames and Crystals. :)
Blessings to all of you :)
2008-12-23
Cocoon and Release
As we march bravely toward the light, many things are percolating in my head. Ideas, plans, images.I have been cocooning, regaining much needed energy, while the weather conspired to allow me to do so. My car is resting in drifts of snow, and thankfully I don't have any pressing errands to run. Well, not pressing. I do have a couple of books to pick up for my goddaughter, and the makings for a hostess gift for Emily's mom that I am making, the ingredients for the dish I am going to take. Yes, yes, I need to do all these things, but I don't want to budge from my home.
I have been designing the Tarot deck like a mad woman on a mission. The Balloon suit is almost done and it will have its grand unveiling soon. It's been difficult, I have to admit. I have been trying to clear my head of the preconceived images and meanings of the traditional decks with which I am so familiar.
The Balloon suit has been the most challenging. If you are at all familiar with the Swords suit in the traditional Tarot decks, you will know why. Most of the cards speak of despair, depression, and defeat. These are the emotions I do not wish to encapsulate in mine. It's not that I am in denial (another "de" word), it's that I want this deck to uplift and guide. In my many years reading the Tarot, I have always felt my energy spiral into an abyss any time one of the swords appeared, knowing that the person I am reading for is feeling the same. So how do I touch upon challenges without sending myself and the person I am reading for into the pit of darkness?
To illustrate this, I have included the counterpart from the Ryder-Waite deck.This card speaks of emotional baggage that is weighing us down and not allowing us to go forward - to reach shore. There is a sense of bleakness and despair in the realization.
Okay. We have all been there. In the tunnel, with no light. Baggage hitting us in the shin.
"Drop the baggage!" Our enlightened soul sings. "Let go!"
So instead of depicting the difficult passage that has the person frozen in a stalemated journey, I depicted the Release.
The release of the baggage, the letting go of all the things, events and people that have stifled our growth, and the sense of freedom it brings.
The red balloons fly away behind us, as we lift our arms and faces to the light, and negotiate our way home.
That is the feeling I want people to have when they see my interpretation of this card. I want them to feel the weight lifted, as the baggage drifts off into space, where it can be absorbed by the cleansing Universe.
If you are feeling like the road is endless and nonnegotiable, if the weight of problems is burying you, my wish is that you find the courage to let go. Let go of those toxic things that stifle you, and be free, be free to sing, and find your way home.
Blessed be :)
2008-12-13
Moon Spinner
Ah the full moon!There she is in all her glory,
smiling down on us, serene.
Gleaming on our skin is her story
Turning reality into a dream.
Everyone smiles to meet her gaze
Awakening us from our daily daze
Making the water in our blood stir
Coming alive, for love of her.
She walks with us, in darkness' path
Washing us in her moonbeam's bath
Everything is beautiful under her glow
Feelings erupt, emotions grow
She is our guide,
our muse,
our glee
I watch the moon
As she watches me.
Last night, I bundled up, made a hot chocolate and had my moments with the moon through the clouds. The street was quiet. The air was crisp, But soul to soul, we took a trip of emotion. She stirred me and settled me at once. "How beautiful you are." I breathed. "How beautiful you are." She smiled. Standing in her light, I was washed clean, from the day's frustrations, from worry, from everything. My mind, my heart, my soul were aglow. I slept well.
In honor of her fullness, and to participate in Suzie's dream board project I made The Moon card. It encapsulates her dreamy quality, her guiding us through the darkness, and all the romanticism accompanying her.
It was a tumultuous couple of days for me. My hormones turned my emotions into an uncontrollable tsunami, and I needed my solitude which I sought out the first opportunity I got. I feel calm today, at peace, knowing I have this day to do as I please, and what I please to do is spend time with myself. Reconnect, recharge, regain my balance. Thank you Moon :)
Thank you to all of you who bestowed upon me your words of support and encouragement. I cannot say enough how much this means to me. You are like a group of angelic magicians holding hands and blanketing me with your care. :)
Breedale was sweet enough to bestow on me the friendship award (see the left sidebar) that I now gladly bestow on others. Thank you Breedale for being all the wonderful things you are, but mostly an inspiration to me and many others. Blessed be my friend. :)
"These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."
I pass the torch of friendship to:
1- Kavindra who gives of herself abundantly not only on her wonderful blogs, but through comments on others'. She is a constant source of light and humour. Thank you :)
2- Gemma who always has a kind word, a helpful comment, a warm perspective. Her compassion and wisdom are endless.
3- Tabby who not only chooses bliss, but is bliss personified. If ever you feel like life has trampled you, visit her blog. :)
4- Sandy who has such love to bathe the whole world in. Her words of encouragement and compassion are always magical. :)
5- Robyn who has created a portal to a magical world. Click on the bird's wing! Do it soon because the portal doesn't stay open long and you will miss out. :)
6- Fatma who is constantly providing resources of wellness and health. :)
7- Shannon who is a powerhouse. To say her perspective is unique, engaging and downright funny, is making an understatement. :)
8- Last but not least, Danette who is the alpha and omega to me. You simply have to visit her to see why. Splendidness in every way :)
In the spirit of giving, a couple of days ago, Tori tagged me with the "5-a-day" meme. Five things you do everyday to keep balanced. I did my five, now it's time to pass it along :)
1- Rowena
2- Beverly
3- Boho
4- Jane
5- Kim
All of these amazing women have an incredible story to tell, a beautiful perspective, and amazing strength. They, like all the blogs on my roll, are ceaseless sources of inspiration. Thank you.
Blessed be :)
2008-12-11
Good Karma
Yesterday, one of my colleagues told me that I was bringing the department good karma. I really don't know if there could ever be a nicer thing anyone could say to me.This came on the heels of all-day interviews to fill one of the five positions that will be opening up in our department. Four are maternity leaves and this one was a medical (stress) leave. We had four outstanding candidates and one mediocre one.
As this was my first time in the interviewer's role, I let myself listen with my ears, process with my mind, and decide with my instinct. I used the tool we learned at Soul Coaching. Sorting the candidates into zappers (of energy) and juicers. Strangely enough, both the principal and the vice principal who were also in the meeting, agreed with my choices. We selected the candidate who not only knew his stuff, gave the best answers but had positive energy flowing out of him like a mighty waterfall.
The process exhausted me though. Who would have thought that sitting around all day, asking questions, listening to answers, and writing notes would drain me?
At the end of it all, I realized that this was the most significant decision I have made as head of the department. I was responsible for giving someone a job and for bringing him into our environment. The very molecules will change in the atmosphere with this new person. He is like a high powered blender of enthusiasm and dedication, and might help invigorate those who are wilting in the vegetable drawer. I know the students will love him like a saviour as they have been suffering these past few months with acute incompetence running their classes.
At the end of the day, Emily and I came here, had dinner and practiced our remix of the song "Dangerous" which we will be performing with six other teachers at the Holiday assembly next week. The song is stuck in my head! :)
No wonder I was pooped by the end of the day and went to bed as soon as the "adult" in my head said it was a decent time to. :)
To top off all this amazingness, I was tagged by two awesome bloggers: Tori , and Muse ! I am so honored! :) Thank you so much ladies. :)
Here are the 5 things I do everyday to keep mentally whole.
1- Blog/journal: I used to use a journal exclusively, but my blog suited me better. It has become my daily reflection in the morning which focuses my thoughts and creativity. It is interactive, as the many wonderful commentators give generously of their support, inspiration, and humanity.
2- Coffee: My morning coffee is essential to me. It fuels me, and in an odd way centers me. You could call it an addiction, but I call it a simple pleasure, that I very much enjoy. Thank the Universe for the coffee and the cocoa beans. :)
3- Gym: I do not go to the gym every day, but I honor this practice as a lifetime commitment, and if I miss a day or two, or even a week, I do not beat myself up over it. (This is a HUGE accomplishment!) When I go to the gym, I feel energized and armed. I am starting to feel my body changing, albeit slowly. :)
4-Creativity: Whether it is writing, or creating graphics, or doodling in the margins during meetings, allowing my creativity daily expression, feeds my soul and imagination.
5-Kids: I am blessed to have daily contact with either my students, or my friends children, or my lovely goddaughter. They are my fountain of youth, my reality check, my constant source of inspiration and joy.
* I will be tagging meme recipients later :)
Here are the rules:
- Put the logo on my blog.(left sidebar)
- Add a link to the person who awarded me. (see above)
- Nominate outstanding blogs that I follow. (To spare you from 40 links, I will have to pare it down... Oy.)
- Add links to those blogs. (See below.)
- Leave a message to those nominees on their blog.
1- Judi : If you want a whole new perspective on life. If you want to see a superhero in the making. If you need to belly laugh, visit her blog. In fact, just visit her blog :)
2- Mother Henna : If it's a step-by-step art project, or an enlightening perspective into the world, or a project that will make your heART sing, visit her blog, and be enchanted!
3- Her Speak : This blog is the very treasure of soulful art, of enchanting poetry, of ageless life. It has become my fountain of inspiration!
4- Kate I : Her photography speaks to the soul, makes your fingers tingle and your soul say AH!
5- Kristen : Her tender journey of self-discovery and bravery will touch your soul and make your heart sing. Her blog blooms with inspiration.
6- See all the wonderful blogs in the left sidebar. Each and every one of them deserve an award, as they are the Fountain of Life. Inspirational in every way. I heart them all :)
Phew! Wasn't this an epic post? I don't have time to even do my morning round of blog reading! I will have to save this delicious practice for tonight!
In closing, today, I made Reincarnation. This is the Tarot card traditionally known as "death". That simply won't do. It is a medieval mode of oppression used to torture souls into submission. There is no death, just a portal to a new being. Whether you believe in reincarnation or not, it matters not. It's not the philosophy this card embodies but the faith that we are everchanging, evergrowing, everperfecting beings whose souls are indestructible :)
Blessed be :)
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