Survivor: San Juan del Stunt Casting

We (I) have always given Big Brother producers a hard time about their casting formula which has been getting more deranged as the seasons pass, but Survivor casting is no better. They've gone from bringing back their favorite retreads so they can finally win, to casting newbies who are more of the same.

The Survivor casting formula is simple: Gotta have a pageant queen, 911 must have representation now, throw in a simple country soul or two, a couple of geeks, a couple of models and don't forget the former pro athlete. This season is no different. We've got all that; and borrowing from Big Brother to bring in a couple of Broadway over-the-tops and from Amazing Race to bring back two of the most obnoxious people to be cast, not once but twice - the fucking Twinnies. Oh CBS, you bore me.

I'm looking forward to the beat downs Survivor conditions have coming their way.

courtesy of CBS-Survivor

Anyway.

Top Left: John Rocker and Julie McGee: Former pro pitcher who's been known to put his big foot in his big mouth and his model girlfriend who owns a spray tanning business fill out the pro-athlete and model casting slots. Put on your sunglasses, folks. This couple is bedazzled.

Next are: John Misch and Jaclyn Schultz: Former MSU football player and pageant queen. They're the selfie of the all-American couple, complete with a taste for the arts, wine and gosh-darn cutesy-ness.

Next are: Josh Canfield and Reed Kelly: Not one but two Broadway geeks who might break into song and dance in the middle of the jungle. I'm going to try to keep an open mind but Frankie J. Grande has ruined it for me. Josh seems energetic and Reed more OCD.

Next are: Drew and Alec Christy fill out the frat-boy/surfer dude mold. They're both clearly in it for the adventure high; and they both seem like goofballs, so they might capture the viewers' hearts.

Top right are: Jeremy and Val Collins: A firefighter (former pro-football player) and a cop fill out the first-responders casting quota. They both seem like two very smiley people who probably can take down an elephant if need be. I'd keep my eye on these two.

Bottom right are: Dale and Kelly Wentworth, a father and daughter team who fill out the down-home country slot as he's a farmer and she's a marketing manager with country roots. But don't count out the country folk, they both seem tough and smart.

Next to them are: Missy Payne and Baylor Wilson, a mother and daughter cheerleading super-duo. You can bet they're competitive and probably would knock some people out on their way to the prize. Missy owns a  competitive cheerleading gym and Baylor is a cheerleading word champ.

Then we have, ugh: Nadiya and Natalie Anderson - the dreaded Twinnies. I hate you CBS. You've ruined Big Brother, and now Survivor is in peril. These chicks are the epitome of annoyingly competitive, loud and obnoxious. I would kick them off the island on day 1.

Finally bottom left are: Keith and Wes Nale, a fire captain and firefighter. Whoa! 911 overload here.  They love hunting and fishing and having some brewskies. Good ole boys who risk their lives on a daily basis might just become the fan faves.

Well, seems the geeks were given a pass this season. On first impression, I predict this cast will be very polarizing among the fans. It, of course, depends on the editing and which confessionals they choose to air. You can bet the twinnies, N&N, Rocker and McGee will probably be the ones who cause most fan reaction and not in a good way. I bet Rocker will rock the idols. It seems to have been happening a lot lately, that the Alpha male seems to be showered with immunity.

Anyway. I will be blogging Survivor and Utopia. Since I'm Canadian and I don't want to go through internet gymnastics, I won't be able to see the Utopia feeds but I will be watching the show which premieres Sept. 7th on FOX.

Stay tuned! :)

Bachelor in Paradise? Hell yeah.

So yes, I'm watching Bachelor Pad, I mean, Bachelor in Paradise. Who can resist a hot mess that makes you feel so much better about your life and relationships? What are the odds that such a group of physically attractive people cannot sustain a relationship longer than a mosquito sting?

Anyway!

The second episode began with the sorry tale of Michelle K who left the show because of an illicit fling with one of the handlers. Hasn't this been done before? Didn't a twerp leave one of the Bachelors because of such a fling? I'd research it, but I don't care enough; but what does it say about these shows that the handlers are getting more action than the actual cast?

Anyway!

The dude obviously has more looks than brain cause she jumped off the second story balcony, breaking both his legs. What a putz. Wait! That's his name. And people say names don't predetermine the course of one's life. He winds up in the hospital, Michelle in the limo, suggesting that she found someone.

Anyway!

Love is in the air?

AshLee still has Graham in her clutches but I'm not sure how much longer this relationship will last. She might be planning their wedding; but he's planning his escape.

Lacey and Marcus paw each other in front of a scorned Robert's eyes, as he wonders what went wrong. Marcus jumped the rose line and won her attentions, dude.

Elise and Dylan seemed to hit it off, until her incessant babbling prompted him to invite her to date other peeps. When she lip-locked with the newly-arrived Chris, after his date with Clare, it sent Dylan into a full-out pout mode. Despite Elise's pleading to forgive her, he invited Sarah on a date. It didn't help him though. He refused Elise's rose and was tossed when Sarah gave hers to Robert.

Anyway!

When Marcus "accidentally" found Ben's love letter and confronted him about the woman who wrote it, Ben was forced to admit he was into her. This prompted a Michelle Money meltdown, bemoaning the unfairness of of it all, that she left her daughter and was cheated from a possible hook-up.

Anyway! Ben dramatically walked off the show. I won't be crying in my popcorn.

Speaking of Michelle M, she gave Marquel a rose despite the fact that he pretty much told her she's an alcoholic and had a list of issues about her, instead of Robert with whom she hit it off. And then they wonder why they can't make a relationship work.

Clare stopped talking to the wildlife when Zack walked onto the scene. His appearance revived Clare's hopes as she ran to be the first to greet him, latching onto him like a Bachelor lifesaver.

Anyway! Sarah and Robert are floating with a sea of drama surrounding them.

And I'm loving it.

The Business of Singing.

Cassadee Pope won The Voice. No big shocker there. The fact that she trended on Twitter, iTunes and YouTube after Amanda Brown and Melanie Martinez were prematurely ousted was a clear indication. She's talented, pretty and edgy. And very mainstream. The popular vote rarely, if ever, goes to Indy artists. Phillip Phillips was the exception on American Idol.

The big news was that Christina Aguilera will be replaced by Shakira and Cee Lo by Usher. It's a straight swap that could be refreshing on the judges panel. It will be fun to see what those to will add to the mix. Aguilera has not been particularly helpful this season with some of her commentary, clearly showing her partiality for some over others.

Tonight is the finale of X-Factor. I expect this youngin to win:

A solid contender from day 1, Carly Rose Sonenclar has been impressive since her first audition and hasn't disappointed since. Tate Stevens has been close on her heels. His performances have been sometimes very predictable; but he the most touching story which might influence the votes.The shocker was that 5th Harmony made it to the F3; but that probably was due to the fact that the judges were absolutely brutal to them.

Britney's reaction to them making F3 says it all...

5th Harmony edged out the judge and tween favorite, Emblem 3, who's puppy dog enthusiasm seemed to have them pegged for F3. It doesn't matter though, because it will no doubt not be the last we see of them. Cowell will more than likely be promoting and backing them.

A singer's success or failure really doesn't depend on the final results of a competition. Many who have not even made it to F3 have gone on to have successful and prolific careers. Fans can be fickle and trends change.

Stay tuned! :)

Ho Ho Holy Doomsday... lmao

Okay okay. We've seen the movies, the shows, the parodies, the special reports and the chatter. Hell, they even used it as a theme in last week's Glee episode. Yup, the end of the world. AGAIN.

There was Y2K that fizzed out like an open can of pop. Then the Nostradamus Prophesies that sent people reeling and yawning when they didn't happen. Now it's the supposed end of the Mayan Calendar that must mean the end of the world, right?

Umm, weren't the Mayans pulverized and made extinct by the Spanish? Could that be the reason their calendar ended? Simply because its author(s) became piranha food? I mean, is that too simplistic an explanation?

In the meantime, the internet has been abuzz for years now with speculation and faux science while the actual scientists have gone purple trying to refute this conspiranoia, but what do they know? I mean where's the money in staying safe and the world continuing along in its cyclical repetition of political and social upheaval? Disaster films are so much more fun.

And if you're dead set on this (pardon the pun), here's some good news if you have some cash lying around:

You could buy one of these:

Complete with pool, on-site agriculture, a library and school....

Glam huh?

You too can survive here if you have $1.5 to $3 mil U.S. lying around! Just contact Larry Hall and put in your order for a half or full floor suite, tout de suite!

Or if you have less cash you could buy one of these:

And roll around bumping your head while surfing on the tides of tsunamis while the rest of us drown  or just choke laughing. That'll only set you back $5K U.S.

Or you can buy a one-way ticket to Bugarach in the Pyranees:

This "village at the end of the world" is said by same prophesy to be the only one to survive a cataclysmic, world-destroying zombiecalypse. Some even believe that aliens will come out from hiding on the 21st scooping up to save all humans in the vicinity. That's nice of them!

Or you can get a bunker at the "secret location" at the "survival community" somewhere in Tenterfield Australia, started up by Simon Young, a refrigeration mechanic, cult leader. Their website is full of useful information... if you're dropping some acid, it will even seem credible!

I for one will invest 40 bucks on a nice bottle of wine, and some gourmet popcorn, spending the night with my favorite people, comfy jammies and some zombie movies! Now that's going out in style! :)

Stay tuned! :)

Cash Cow Disease

So it's back to business as usual. As it turns out Melanie Martinez was voted out (oops! sorry! spoiler alert), so we're going to be spared Aguilera's monologues on set design. Anyway, as promised, my living dolls series continues with someone who has spent over half a million dollars on plastic surgery to vaguely (but not really) resemble Barbie: Sarah Burge.

Sarah with daughter Poppy

As she relates her own life, this UK personality is no stranger to drama, trauma and self-abuse. Now, she's making her money as a plastic surgery consultant, running a promotional talent firm, guesting on a radio show and writing erotica under the pseudonym Madam Pink, in addition to being an anti-domestic violence advocate and fundraiser. That's pretty damn impressive.

She was introduced to the world of plastic surgery when she was severely beaten as a young girl and had to have reconstruction on her face during a time when she was being exploited as a Playboy Bunny. (Probably a version of toddlers' and girls' beauty pageants) This certainly sheds light into the woman that she is today.

Yet, it's not all this that she's known for. Most recently, she's known for being kicked off Anderson Cooper's show in May 2012 because she had given her daughter Poppy a sizable voucher for plastic surgery to be cashed in when she turns 18. Copper called her "dreadful" saying he had nothing to talk to her about, later commenting that he regretted having her on the show. Watch for yourself:

A crapstorm of controversy has raged at Burge since this story broke with accusations and recrimination flying like confetti at a wedding. I'm torn on this subject. I get why people are pissed. Like Alana Thompson, Poppy is being pushed into the public eye way too young and being given the message that she needs to artificially augment her looks in order to be beautiful. On the other hand, I understand that, to Burge, plastic surgery is not only acceptable but desirable; so, to her, such a gift is perfectly "natural". However, the girl was 7 years old at the time. At that age. children are not able to think critically and differentiate between a choice and a necessity.

My problem is with Anderson Cooper and others who bring Burge on their shows, giving her the publicity, only to tear her down. Again, media is gleefully dancing around their hypocrisy. On the one hand, they've flooded us with shows promoting children in roles they have no business being in, getting the publicity they can in no way handle; yet on the other hand, they turn their judgmental noses up on the likes of Burge.

Are there issues there? Undoubtedly. But who doesn't have issues whether they are in the public eye or not. Does the media exploit these issues to keep feeding their insatiable thirst for ratings which translates to money? Indeed they do. They need to make a decision. Either they don't approve which means abolishing all such shows to the rejection board or they stop pretending to have ethics. You can't have your cash cow and eat it too.

Stay tuned! :)

Sources:

Biography

Sidetracked: Snarky Judges

I was going to write another post in my Barbie series, but that's going to have to wait until tomorrow. Something else popped up that burned my insides so here it is:

For the longest time, I've been planning on doing a comparison between X Factor and The Voice, outlining the reasons I like the latter more. The main reason is the judges. Talent comes and talent goes, but it's the way people are treated on these shows that's important.

In the past, I noticed that Adam Levine. Cee Lo Green, Blake Shelton and Christina Aguilera have consistently not only shown the contestants respect and affection but have given them constructive criticism unlike their counterparts on X Factor (with the exception of Britney Spears ). Reid, Cowell and Lovato have shown a gleeful cruelty towards many of the contestants (those NOT on their teams) throwing out comments ranging from the mild "boring" to "disastrous";having a go at each other when they're done annihilating the competitors.

Really? In what way are these comments even remotely constructive? Simple answer. They're not. It seems like these three use the contestants for their snark-filled amusement. Since snarky and cruel is the new witty, this might not bother many; but it pisses me off. In laymen's terms, they suck at judges.

However, the past couple of weeks while watching The Voice, I noticed that Christina Aguilera has jumped on the saccharine version of the Snark Train. For some reason, she has taken a dislike to Melanie Martinez, disrespecting the 17 year-old's performance by commenting first on the fact that Jerry Slaughter has been creating some pretty awesome sets for the young singer.

Slaughter has indeed been outdoing himself on Martinez' sets possibly because the quirky singer with the unique style has inspired him to accompany her performances with quirky sets. He is noticeably talented, but the show is called The Voice not The Set.

Following this, Aguilera then threw out some lukewarm commentary on the Melanie's performance, complete with a distasteful look on her face. She did that last week; and after doing so for the second time last night, Aguilera noted that Melanie wasn't even looking at her.  Seriously? She asked why? I'll tell her why. Because Melanie was clearly upset and devastated at this aggressive disrespect. It takes a lot of courage to undertake such a huge stage and television show. No one wants to stand in front of millions to be told that the set design is kickass and she should "appreciate it".

Not only has Aguilera blatantly belittled Melanie specifically, but has shown a distinct and unprofessional favoritism for Shelton's Pope and McDermott because her team was (WHAT?!?) demolished by the voting public. The top 6 are all uniquely talented with their own marketable skills that they bring to the table. At this point, it's even hard to choose a front-runner because they're all that good. Why even weigh in? Why decide to offer Trevin a spot on her tour yet babble on about set design with Melanie. It's downright schizophrenic. Boo Christina!

So what's sparked Aguilera's dislike for Melanie? I couldn't even speculate; and I really don't care; but it's left a sour taste in my mouth for a show that I have loved above all singing competition shows. Maybe I should build a set and get over it.

Barbie Is Alive and Well

Fountaine by Marcel Duchamp

Installation Art derived from the 1960's Conceptual Art (an example of this Marcel Duchamp's Readymade or Found Pieces that were everyday unaltered objects used to make a statement) and became famous in the 1970's. It is three-dimensional art that often uses media and is dependent on the space in which it resides. Performance Art, also became popular in the 60's with Yoko Ono's Wall Piece for Orchestra in 1962. This is a more interactive art where the performer becomes a part of the art piece. Both of these art forms are an expression of the modern age, bringing art to life.


In case you're wondering, this hasn't become an Art History blog. There's a reason for this contextual information; and it relates to this woman:

Valeria Lukyanova

Valeria Lukyanova, is a Ukrainian artist who decided to alter her appearance using make-up, contact lenses and plastic surgery to look like the embodiment of Barbie. The picture above is a real woman, though blogs and media sites have flocked to tout her as a fake. The criticism has rained upon her with comments denigrating her choice to look the way she does by amateur psychologists and finger-pointers calling her everything foul in the urban dictionary and claiming she suffers from self-esteem issues.

Why? She is clearly stunning but more than that she's very talented. She isn't a clinically deluded person at all. She is, however a performance artist with a very beautiful voice.

Many have accused her of using Photoshop to enhance her looks. or bashed her because she's used plastic surgery to enhance her body to Barbie dimensions. It sounds like a lot of sour grapes to me. It reads like jealousy. Many people have used plastic surgery to improve their looks whether they be famous or not. In an age where that is a possibility, those who can afford it can and will use it. Sure, there are those who abuse that and get too much work done, but that's not the case here. Let's put the Photoshop theory to rest with video proof:

I find it amusing that a person can be turned into a Klingon or Golem using make-up but in order for Valeria to look like Barbie, she has to resort to Photoshop. Valeria is living a role. She is a performance artist bringing to life an impossible standard of girlish beauty that many of us have succumbed to. Is she doing it ironically? Probably not. But does everything have to be ironic, snarky, angry or intense to be art? Nope. There are no rules to art. That's why they call it art.

If you're still not convinced that Valeria is an artist, here are two videos that I guarantee will enchant you:

She has a a hauntingly beautiful voice that mesmerizes with it's ethereal quality. Still not convinced that this is not just a deeply disturbed person trying to live a plastic existence? Watch:

Enough said. So why the firestorm of criticism and accusations being rained upon someone who is expressing herself in her own unique way? How can the same media that promotes unattainable beauty in movies, on television and in magazines become snark central when it comes to her? If you visit her Facebook page, you will see not only admiration (some of which is highly unsavory) but you will read comments brutally deconstructing her as a person. Social media at its finest.

Valeria Lukyanova is a performance artist of our times. She uses the tools at our disposal today to make herself living art. Maybe it's time we get over ourselves, our own sense of inadequacy and appreciate her for what she is.

Stay tuned! :)

p.s. I have challenged myself to post everyday starting in the month of December. Call it a pre-New Year's resolution ;)

Breaking Habits

Finally, this madness is about to end. Tomorrow the final movie installment of the Twilight Saga premieres in North America with Breaking Dawn Part 2. Finally, the buzz and hysteria over a series of novels that are nothing more than drug store romance with vampires and werewolves will be over. Finally, the story of a bland, cardboard female character that somehow becomes the center of  so much drama and angst will end. Finally, I don't have to hear another thing about Kristen Stewart's and Rob Pattison's fakemance.

Several years ago, (it feels like forever) I took the first book in my hands to read because my then pre-teen god daughter would talk about nothing else. Being an English teacher, and a dedicated god mother, I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I struggled through these novels, drowning in gaping plot holes, unappealing characters and painful dialogue to find out what the heck everyone was getting so worked up over. Obviously being a masochist, I then dutifully suffered through the movies whose special effects and soundtrack could not compensate for the excruciating acting and direction. I came to a conclusion.

It's a young girl thing that stays with some women a life time. It's the need for fantasy. It's a notion that has been around for hundreds of years in fiction, then later, on the silver screen and finally on television and in comics. The notion of a perfect man who will sweep every tender heart off her feet no matter who she is, what she does, how she looks, and where she comes from. It's a destructive notion that, left unchecked, can be one of the major reasons why real men don't get a fair shake, and real women feel unsatisfied for most of their lives. It's a female version of porn.

While some men hide their proclivity for steaming, naughty sex under beds and in closets, women take theirs with them on the subway and to the coffee shop. Used in moderation, it can be an, ummm, handy form of entertainment. Used excessively, it could be the reason women and men have unreal, and untenable expectations about sexual, emotional and committed relationships. These characters never go to the bathroom, or have a bad day, or pick their noses. The men in romance novels and the women in centerfolds bask in their two-dimensional perfection, while the audience feels unsatisfied when they're torn away from that world into the three dimensional one.

What's worse is that it's become so subliminal that we don't even know those expectations have become embedded in our psyches. With the divorce rate skyrocketing, the media splashed with celebrity break-ups, and shows like TMZ salivating at the latest scandal, what is going on with "romantic" relationships? Do they even exist? Sure they can, but real romance only has the trappings and the soundtrack that we choose. Real romance is effort. It's not produced by multi-billion dollar movie, music and publishing companies. It's what we make it. Finding romance beyond the "who does the dishes", the bad day at the job, or the crazy commute home is not as easy as picking up a book or grabbing the remote. It's milking energy to build and keep the mystique of romance after the children's meltdown and before our own.

Maybe it's time that adults take responsibility for their relationships and actually invest the time in them that we do in fantasizing about them. Maybe it's time, as adults, we start building healthy perceptions and expectations about intimate relationships in young men and women, so that they don't enter in them, handicapped by Bellas and Edwards. Maybe it's time to consciously help our young break this really nasty habit. Too many sweets result in cavities and obesity. Too much brain candy will dissolve not only our grey matter but wreck our emotional well-being.

Judges Misbehaving

So the first X-Factor live performances aired, finally with the 16 paired down to 12. Before I get into the judges' decisions, there's a bigger issue at hand: the way Simon and L.A. used each other's acts to prove who has a bigger... knowledge of music.

After Simon trashed Jason Brock's first performance, L.A. decided to retaliate by annihilating 1432's performance. Simon was typically harsh on Jason but not undeservedly; Jason's rendition of Jennifer Lopez' "Dance Again" was painful to watch. Simon could have left it at that; but, being Simon, he went into humiliating detail from the song selection to what Jason was wearing. I have to give Jason props for enduring that brutality.

L.A. taking it personally no doubt, decided to return the favor by aiming a mirrored critique at 1432 who performed after Jason. My jaw dropped and their faces fell but they handled it well. It infuriated me to watch this childish and destructive behavior. These two need to seriously get a room. I'm not shocked however, because L.A. has been displaying a very unflattering diva attitude this season beginning with his tantrum at hearing he had the Over 25's.

Moving on to the judges' selections:

Demi Lovato eventually cut Willie Jones whose performances lacked the element of surprise he had when he first appeared on the show. The newly blonde, but still contrived CeCe Frey simply outsung him. Personally, I would have cut Paige Thomas whose Rhianna-like performance was elaborate but whose voice did not live up to the production. Of the three remaining, Jennel Garcia is clearly the best singer and the most believable performer. CeCe however, did an outstanding job with Irene Cara's "Out Here On My Own" from Fame (which L.A. didn't know... how could he know so little?)

Britney Spears had the most difficult choice to make as all four of her teens are outstanding singers; but choosing Arin Ray and Diamond White for the sing-off was puzzling. Beatrice Miller, though very talented, did not deliver the same performance caliber as these two; and Carly Rose Sonenclar, though easily the best singer in the whole competition, had to overcome a very awkward production that Britney put her in. Carly Rose is not, thankfully, the sex-pot Britney was. She doesn't need all these gimmicks or school uniforms to sell her talent. If Britney keeps this up, she might very well hurt Carly Rose's chances in this competition.

Be that as it may, I would have cut Beatrice over Diamond or Arin who not only can belt out a song but have stage presence by the bushels. Watch Diamond as she sings Elton John's "Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word.

And Arin's rendition of Whitney Houston's "I Look To You"

I don't get it.

Simon Cowell's decision was a lot easier it seems. Lyric 145 and Emblem 3 both knocked the audience on its rear ends with their performances. Both these acts are good to go. No matter what happens in this competition, it will not be the last we hear from these two groups. Between Sister C and 1432 (whose name mercifully will be changing), the choice was easy. I'm convinced Simon would have saved Sister C but the crowd chanting 1432 changed his mind. With their performance of Demi Lovato's "Skyscraper", he would have been a fool not to.

L.A. Reid saved Vino Alan and Tate Stevens whose song choices and performances would have put them on the chopping block if this were a voting week, leaving David Correy and Jason Brock to sing for their lives. Jason edged David out which was surprising because David's singing is more compelling that Jason's to my ears. Then again, I'm not a producer. :)  Unfortunately, it makes no difference because, unless something changes, this team is doomed to be voted out the soonest.

Update: It seems that they figured out how they effed up and brought Diamond back. That's right! I called it!

Honey Boo Boo WTF?

Let me say this before I mention anything else. I love and like kids. They engender in me the instinct of protection. Nothing I say in this article will reflect in any way on the kids but is directed on society as a whole.

Now that it's out of the way, WTF are we thinking? Have there not been enough case studies and statistics showing what effects of being in the public eye has on those who are still developing not only physically, but also emotionally, mentally and socially? And those are the kids with actual talent who are promoting careers, not the hot messes that are put on display to be ridiculed. Have we not seen what "reality TV" has done to grown-ups who supposedly have the emotional and mental capacity (although that's debatable) to withstand the pressures of being in the limelight for no reason at all?

How could anyone think that throwing kids into the spotlight of reality TV would even remotely turn out well for them? That's a double strike against them even before they pick up the bat. And for what? So we can sit back, with a bowl of popcorn and laugh at them? Or feel morally superior? Or what? What is the purpose of us tuning in?

The networks are making money, hand over fist. The parents are either ensuring their kids' futures if they're responsible or unwisely squandering the money that their little cash cows make. But what about the public? What does this say about us as a society that not only condones but participates gleefully in child exploitation for the purposes of "entertainment"?

Let's slap some make-up and skimpy outfits on these kids and pressure them into participating in adult activities. Let's put kids in highly stressful situations, pump them up with "Go Go Juice" filled with sugar and caffeine so they can perform like untrained monkeys. In whose mind is this a good thing?

How can we live in a society that claims to protect its young yet at the same time condones this public ridicule and mismanagement of kids' development? I just. Don't. Get. It.

Adults have the right to make decisions about their lives and their futures. Adults have the right to sign up for making themselves public spectacles. Adults have the right (forgive my language) to fuck up their lives. What they do not have is the right to tank children's lives. That's when Child Services gets called in, not when interviews get booked. We use the fact that children love attention, as a rule, and will gladly, unknowingly, follow the adults in their lives to the brink of destruction and beyond. And we sit back and laugh! Who's protecting those kids? We should be ashamed that we live in a society that thinks it entertaining to shove kids into situations that they are not capable of handling.

I say "we" out of politeness. I for one do not support these shows. I don't care what the parents do with the money, how many trust funds they start and how many charities they support. This is damaging their kids in the process. We can dress this up in any way to justify the exploiters and the supporters of these shows, but the fact remains that we might as well sit back and watch our neighbor's kid get beaten while we chomp on popcorn and Junior mints. It's sick and twisted; and it needs to stop.

Stay tuned.

The Bachelor, eh?

The Bachelor Canada premiered a couple of weeks ago, adding another reality show in a long line to follow its US counterpart. Let's see if it's more successful than Canadian Idol or So You Think You Can Dance Canada (and we can, thank you very much), or Canada's Got Talent  which were all cancelled, the latter after the first season.

Why you might ask? Because the viewership is limited to Canadians, and we don't support our own shows, unfortunately. The one that baffled and angered me the most was SYTYD Canada because I personally thought it was outstandingly entertaining with better dances and dancers than most of the other sister shows. However, I've come to accept that my taste does not follow the mainstream often, so I've had to take a lot of TV-related disappointment.

Back to TBC. First of all, let's talk about production. Since there's no actual prize involved, that frees up the poor neighbor-to-the-North budget that Canadian shows have to work with for limos and helicopters and glamorous trips to New Orleans and Ottawa. What's more interesting to note is the insane amount of product placement that has to happen in order to beef up the budget of this show. We had to endure about 10 minutes of watching the bachelorettes shaving their legs to promote a shaving company which I won't mention because a) I don't remember (I'm the worst target audience) and b) I'm not being paid for product placement. :) Then on one date where Brad took Ana on a picnic they sat on a huge blanket with pillows sporting the unmistakable Bay franchise colors.

What about our first Bachelor, eh?

Brad Smith is charming, playful and quite intuitive. He caught some flack on the premier for complimenting all the ladies on their dresses. ("Holy Dress!") It disarmed me because his nervousness manifested in a positive way rather than in machismo. Brad clearly doesn't take himself seriously and doesn't need to ooze testosterone even though he's a former CFL player. He embodies the 21st century metro-sexual quite successfully: a man who's into "manly" things but not afraid to show "feminine" interests. I can't believe we still talk about those things.

Anyway, moving to the gist of the whole show: the bachelorette front-runners.

Whitney, aka the Courtney Robertson of this season, received the first impression rose because she took Brad in a vice-grip full-body hug when she first met him. This part-time boxer oozes aggressive confidence in herself and disdain for the other women, saying they're "no competition." That's always charming. Whitney kept her cool when her nemesis on the show, Gabrielle, tried to bait her into a cat fight, but clearly this woman is not a favorite among the others.


 Let's hope that Brad is smarter and more intuitive than Ben Flajnik who chose Courtney to the consternation of most viewers and all the other bachelorettes. That relationship recently ended, supposedly in a save-face "mutual" decision though Courtney has had no problem immediately moving onto Arie Luyandyk from Emily Maynard's Bachelorette season. Maybe they should rename that franchise Swinging Singles because it's just a collection-pool for the real show Bachelor Pad. Anyway...

Gabrielle is not a front-runner but is clearly being kept on the show to stir up drama as Whitney's nemesis. She's unsubtle, grating, outspoken (meaning she won't shut up), abrasive and not really anyone's idea of fun. But her comments against Whitney are entertaining enough to keep her around.

Chantelle who is a giggly, self-effacing, intense pastor has captured Brad's attention by sharing a book of love-quotes from the kids in her camp and doing a burlesque show despite being uncomfortable. She cannot be more opposite to the previous women which speaks more to Brad's wide range of tastes more than anything else.

Kara, the grad student or the JoJo Spatafora of this season (only Big Brother 14 fans will get this reference), in looks not personality, has also made an impression on Brad, sharing a more relaxed chemistry with the bachelor while staying away from the drama spotlight in the show's edit. She might be the dark horse of this competition for Brad's heart and the diamond ring. She's confident without being pushy, knowing that maintaining a good relationship with the other hopefuls will keep her out of their sights.

Last, but not least, is the one I think has the most chances of being picked by Brad in the end, Ana. He made an exception for her at the first rose ceremony by adding another rose to keep her in the running. Then this week, because she didn't get a date with him at all, he created one for her, surprising her at 5:30 in the morning to take her on a plane ride and a romantic picnic on an island. You tell me those aren't signs that Brad likes this woman a lot.

All-in-all, The Bachelor Canada is shaping up to be a successful spin-off of this franchise, with all the drama and adventure, the tears, the heart-ache and suspense that the original brings to the table. Will it be successful enough to overcome the Canadian curse of sister shows? Only time will tell, as solid ratings have not come out yet. Canadian viewers are a tough crowd, with Canadian critics leading the cynical pack.

Stay tuned for next week's critique: Kids and Reality TV.

Reality TV: The Sob Story

I'm a pretty compassionate person. If I had magical powers I would eliminate all pain, disease, violence, corruption and hatred from the world. We'd all walk around with smiles on our faces and bouquets in our arms; but that's never going to happen because, well, we're human. Life is tough and we have to navigate it.

But reality TV has taken all the misery and struggle that life has to offer, making it into a marketing tool to manipulate its audiences into tuning in. Banking, and banking large, on "there by the grace of (fill in your deity or magical being of choice) go I" adage, they have filled my entertainment with endless sob stories, complete with the accompanying soundtracks.

I sit down to enjoy The Voice, or X Factor, or So You Think You Can Dance, or even Master Chef, to name a few, and I'm bombarded by hard luck story segments about the competitors. Endless tales of human suffering, loss and disappointment drown me just before I see them stumble through the quick step, murder another Adele song or cook a licorice quiche. What does losing one's puppy have to do with how well you can sing or dance or cook? Is the public supposed to vote on the talent/ability or their hard luck? Are we just watching various renditions of My Life Sucks?

Why do I have to watch TV with a box of tissues handy at all times?

Everyone loves a good story of redemption and triumph over difficulty, but it's now become so trite that we're becoming desensitized to it. Contestants put their lives out there to be picked apart by the cynical viewership for a one-in-whatever chance of winning the money and the title. Some of these stories seem to be stretched to the absolute limit to milk "tragedy" from a broken toe. Meanwhile, the talent falls by the wayside. What happened to enjoying talent for talent's sake?

So people are voting for what again? Their personalities, their stories or their actual talents? This manipulation of editing can cripple someone's chances of achieving their dream because the person with the better story will be voted in and the other out. It's not about the issues or the talent or the abilities. It's about what story the producers have decided to sell.

This opens up a whole new kettle of fish, namely, public voting in general. It's not about being informed and understanding what each competitor has to offer anymore. It's about whose sympathy card has the most funds deposited. It's about who get the best camera time and edit.

This is why I love my PVR. It not only frees me from the endless stream of consumerism, it frees me from the endless stream of pop-tragedy. After all, isn't that what the "news" is about?

Stay tuned! :)

Misogyny and Reality TV

I'll admit it. They say it's the first step. I'm addicted to reality TV. No, I'm not as hardcore as others. I do draw the line at Honey Boo Boo and Jersey Shore. My preference is competition shows, mostly those involving talent and/or skill. I get my guilty pleasure kick by watching the Bachelor/ Bachelorette /Bachelor Pad franchise shows. Who doesn't like a good hot mess?

Reality TV is escapist, sometimes heart-warming, entertainment at best; but on the flip side it can uncover some unsavory aspects of North American society. I will also admit that there have been occasions where these shows have made me cry, laugh out loud at some absurdity or the other, and get pissed off to no end. Not necessarily at the people on these shows. They're all trying to get ahead in some way or the other, but at the way we see people and their place in the world.

To be more blunt. Reality TV has become a hot bed of misogyny in the way women are portrayed but worse, in the way they are received. Here are some stats to think about:

• Out of 11 seasons of American Idol, 7 of them were won by men.
• Out of 14 seasons of Big Brother, 9 of them were won by men. A woman has never won against a man.
• Survivor is a evenly split, despite the fact that its host and now producer refuses to give the female players any credit. Out of 24 seasons, half of them were won by men.
• Out of 14 seasons of Dancing with the Stars, 10 of them were won by men.
• In 3 seasons of Top Chef Masters, only men won.
• In both seasons of The Voice, men won (and that includes the mentors).
• Both seasons of The Glee Project were won by men.
• The first season of The Glass House was won by a man even though there were also 2 women in the finale.

In other words, women have much fewer chances of winning these shows, whether the winners are chosen by the voting public, judges or fellow contestants. Are these results based on who played a better game or whose skill level is more developed? Not really. It's more of a reflection of gender-based stereotypes that are so ingrained in our way of thinking, subverted into the way we react to men and women in competitions and positions of power.

Women who are as proactive as men in their careers are not ambitious. They are aggressive. Women who assert themselves in positions of power and influence are not strong; they are bitches. Women are criticized for their appearance even in the middle of important peace-keeping negotiations, or campaigns to right injustices. They are judged because they aren't wearing lip-gloss or they've put on some weight. Men can look frumpy and disheveled but it doesn't matter if they are leading a multi-billion dollar corporation.

And before you call me a man-hater (I like men a LOT!), men are often not the source of this misogyny. Surprisingly, disappointingly, infuriatingly, alarmingly, women are. In fact, based on my first-hand observations in fan communities of some of these reality TV shows, it is the female contestants who are frequently, if not solely, the recipients of hatred, wrath and ridicule, coming predominantly from female viewers and female participants.

That's the reality of this situation. We might be living in countries that tout gender, racial or cultural equality (those will be the subject of another day), but until that translates into the reality of life, we have a long way to go.

Stay tuned! :)

Survivor Philippines: The Tribe of Failure

It's difficult making cast assessments based on one episode of a show, one that is heavily edited to portray certain people in stereotypical roles, fitting stereotypical "story lines"; but here goes, as I hack my way through the jungle of editing to find the nuggets of possible truth.

It doesn't take a medium to predict that the Matsing Tribe is going to be tanking early. This is mostly due to the fact that their un-leader, leader who doesn't want to lead but does anyway, Russell Swan can't assess his tribe's abilities and their inability to tell him to go take a long hike on the beach. Now, he's probably a perfectly nice guy, one who made a huge mistake, admitting to it in Tribal Council, but something tells me he won't be able to help himself.

He's lucky. Zane Knight, who went out in a huge ball of fail by underplaying, underlasting, and undersmarting everyone, saved Russ' Survivor life this week. I don't know how many times I need to say this but I will again. Future reality contestants: if you want to play the BIG game, trying to make BIG moves while congratulating yourself about your own GENIUS, you better back it up with two things: a killer ability to save yourself in challenges, and zipped lips. These were the exact two qualities that Zane did not have, therefore earning him the distinction of being the first voted off.

Russ will probably continue for at least another week of life in the game because of two other tribe mates: Roxanne "Roxy" Morris and Angie Layton who risked losing their eyeballs with all the rolling they did at Tribal Council. They tried to pin their predicament on Russ, but he does not carry the sole blame. Instead of standing up to Russ before the immunity challenge, asserting themselves and their abilities, they "stood down" to his non-authority, authority, obeying his directives. His bright idea? Get the one guy on the tribe whose physicality ensured failure to do the running with him.

This tribe seems to have only two possibilities of making it to the merge: Denise Stapley and Malcolm Freberg. They were smart enough to seek each other out as the only two with the brains and strategy in the tribe. This, with their ability to make it through the physical challenges, will give them the best chances of getting out of this cluster of a tribe intact.

With this tribe's state of disarray and dismal un-leadership, Matsing stands a great chance of losing yet another immunity challenge next week and one of Roxy or Angie being sent packing. Russ will probably find the immunity idol because he stumbled on the clue, unlike Penner who found it with purpose. Even with this coveted idol, I doubt Russ's chances of making it to the merge are good. He'll probably not use it or give it away by accident.

These are just my assessments from watching the show. If you want real insider info, then get it from the one, true source of spoilers: Missyae.

Stay tuned for the upcoming blogs:

• My assessment of the singing competitions: The Voice, X-Factor and the newly rehashed American Idol. Why is this show still on?
• Misogyny and Reality TV
• Skill, Luck, Production and the Mighty Buck

News Schnews

A while ago, I made the conscious decision to stop watching the news. Between the graphic scenes of post-violence, the sensational commentary, and the induced hypochondria, I had had enough. I can easily stay informed about the sad state of affairs without subjecting myself to that. It's not so much the ostrich effect, because I'm not in denial about the horrific nature of humanity's underbelly. Wars are raging and taking lives; politicians are scrambling to justify their office; harm is being done to young ones; unsuspecting people are gunned down; coffee is bad for you one day and good the other; storms become "stormgates".

Other than trying to spread some hope, donate some money or food, give up some time to help others locally, there is nothing I can do. Putting myself through the distress of watching the news translate misfortune into ratings, isn't helping anyone.

The same goes with the morning programs. I used to watch religiously, until I realized that I really didn't need to know about Deena's shoes or Kevin's bout with the stomach flu or Frankie's wedding to get my day started. What passes as "news" is mostly opinion and triviality. I have enough of that in my real life.

Case in point, the other day, as I was marking papers, I had the TV on as background noise, to help drown out the screaming in my head about what I was reading. I wasn't really paying attention to what was happening, and a promotional news segment reared its ugly head. In the midst of the tormented question why students can't write a simple paragraph, I hear "Insomnia is one of the leading causes of health issues. Not getting enough sleep can irreparably affect your body."

Great! That's exactly the reassurance that any insomniac needs to hear to help him/her get a good night's sleep. There's nothing like the threat of imminent bodily harm to someone who is already struggling to get some shut eye.

First of all, even if there is a study out there, the limitations and validity of which is sketchy at best, that actually proves this as medical fact, how reprehensible and irresponsible is it to broadcast it as a tidbit of information? Insomnia is no laughing matter. It bespeaks issues that one has to manage often with the help of a professional practitioner, not Billy Boob Butthead reading it on a screen.

Second of all, how dare they sneak that information in between a soap commercial and one for diamond rings (Valentine's is coming up)? Ratings and generation of funds to pay the overinflated salaries of television personalities have totally eliminated ethical practices. I get that television's one mandate is to generate capital through commercial placement. I get that the "medical" profession is being taken over by pharmaceutical partisanship. I get all that. What I don't get is why they need to keep the public in a constant state of worry.

I don't get enough sleep, apparently. My sleep cycle is shot all to hell, and that's my problem that I have to work out. The reasons and scope of my disturbed sleep are what I need to deal with. It's hard to function  around 2 pm when my body is aching for a nap, and I have to relay the importance of a semi-colon. I know I need help. What won't help me deal with all this is some news producer deciding it's a good idea to throw some hypochondriac panic into the mix.

That'll teach me to turn on the TV for company.

It's Not a Crime...

It's not a crime to be grumpy. If you decide to go to the corner store in your pajamas make sure you accessorize, and try not to do so in broad daylight...

It's not a crime to be angry. If you're going to express it, paint on campus might be the best way. You can call it art and not collateral damage.

It's not a crime to be disappointed. Sometimes shit happens, and we're left with the clean-up. Use gloves.

It's not a crime to be sad. If someone says there's no reason and to cheer up; tell them to walk a day in your pajamas!

It's not a crime to be selfish. Sometimes. There are limits. If you find yourself eying some random kid's candy, it's time for some yoga; and if anything was made for pajamas, yoga's it!

It's not a crime to want more. Focus on more success rather than more ice cream. One pays the bills, the other creates them.

It's not a crime to be jealous. Use it as a motivator to achieve the things that are lacking in your life. If you find yourself contemplating a hit man, then it's time to seek therapy.

It's not a crime to not like someone. As long as you can live with the fact that it's probably mutual, and move on.

It's not a crime being different. We live on the planet Earth, not planet Stepford. Whether we like it or not, we are all different. Some might be better at hiding it, but I say flaunt it! Just  don't go into traffic court in said pajamas. They have the power to put you away...

There are many things in the world that are crimes, like killing endangered species, or being cruel to others, or making people who have nothing useful to contribute into celebrities and leaders; being human is not one of them.

:)

Seriously?

Do you use Twitter or Facebook or Myspace or any other online social networking site? Well, here is a cautionary tale.

In Quebec, an insurance company stopped benefit payments to a woman who filed a disability claim on the basis of photographs she posted on popular social networking site. Seriously?

This woman who is suffering from clinical depression posted a few pictures from a birthday party she attended and from a sunny vacation she took. The insurance company somehow accessed her page, saw the picture and suspended her payments pending further inquiry.

The insurance company insists that they use any tool they can to aid their investigations. Granted. Social networking sites have been used in court cases as evidence against a defendant. Why not in an insurance claim? But a site alone cannot be used as the sole reason for suspending benefits. It's not a medical professional. A picture might tell a thousand words, but it very easily can be telling the wrong words. There is a huge margin of interpretation here.

Granted, the woman should have been more discriminating in what she posted on the social network site. The internet is not the safest place to entrust your life. Though most websites have security settings, it's not impossible to contravene them. What happened in this case? Did she not have sufficient security settings on? And if she did, how did they access her profile? Do they have hackers on their investigative team?

It boggles the mind...

But more importantly, the issue at hand is clinical depression and the attitude many have towards it. Many believe that one dealing with this condition should simply "snap out of it". That those suffering with clinical depression can control their feelings, that they are wallowing in self-pity. That is far from the truth.

Though I have suffered from bouts of depression, I have never had clinical depression. I know those who do have to live with this condition, however. And it can be debilitating. The fact that this woman is taking steps to deal and live with this, on orders of her doctor, should be commended, not punished.

The underlying urge is to hole up in a room, to hide from life and people, to sleep away a feeling that is darker than solitary confinement. In many cases, it is solitary confinement. Clinical depression is like being trapped by feelings of abject darkness that color and pave every single experience.

On the other side of ignorance is the notion that those with clinical depression must logically be sad all the time. They are not allowed to crack a smile, go out with friends, try to change settings in attempt to deal with the problem. It's obvious the insurance company bases their decisions on such preconceptions.

Guilty until you hire a lawyer, go to court and try to prove yourself innocent.

You can read the full story here!