Facebookphilia

When they make a movie about how a social network system came to be, then you know it has taken over the very fabric of our lives. Facebook is everywhere, and like anything, it can be used for productive healthy interactions or it can be used for shady dealings.

In New York, several educators lost their jobs for inappropriate behaviour with students which, in some form, involved the use of Facebook. In the New York Post article, Teachers fired for flirting on Facebook with students, it calls for the education boards to make policies governing social networking between teachers and students. Talk about chucking out the baby with the bath water.

These adults acted inappropriately not because of Facebook. They were simply caught because of it. They used this online network to prey on the young, but calling for a ban of its use by all teachers because "you have too many teachers who won't think this out" is an insult to the hundreds of thousands of teachers who are not pedophiles and will not prey on their students, with or without Facebook.

School papers, teams and clubs have Facebook pages to communicate events, practices, rehearsals, and scheduling. Teachers use Facebook as extensions to novels, as homework clubs, as ways to obtain missing work.

I use blogs for this purpose, but I have a handful of former students as friends on Facebook, at their request. They sometimes reach out to tell me about what they're doing in their lives, how their university experience in going, when they can visit their alma mater. But other than that, I hardly hear from them. The last thing they want or need is to hang out with their former teacher. They just want to keep a part of their high school experience with them a little longer, and they feel secure having an adult they trust be available to them.

I consider it an honor.

And one day, when they graduate, get their first job, find their soul mate, get married, have their kids, I will learn about it, and be happy for them. These handful won't have gone into the vacuum of life, but be a part of mine in some small way.

Do I deserve to lose my job?

If an adult preys on a young person for any reason, especially sexual, they deserve all the wrath that society has to dole out. However, I find it insulting that just because I happen to share a profession with them, I have to be reprimanded and treated like an imbecile. I find it insulting that just because I have a connection with students beyond the classroom, that I would be suspect of wrongdoing. They are like my children. According to the Education Act, I am their in loco parentis (in place of a parent) and I take this sacred task seriously.

When parents are caught abusing their children, is there a public outcry to remove all children from their parents' care?

We have to decide what kind of society we live in. Do we let the criminal element determine how everyone should be treated? Do we label everyone who happens to share the gender, or race, or family tree the same as them? Or do we use all the available adults at our disposal, parents, teachers, pediatricians, day care workers, cross guards, coaches and club advisors as a team of people looking after our young, protecting them against the likes of  those who would put them in harm's way? I think we all know the answer to that.

And it's time we stop burying our Facebook in the sand.

It's Not a Crime...

It's not a crime to be grumpy. If you decide to go to the corner store in your pajamas make sure you accessorize, and try not to do so in broad daylight...

It's not a crime to be angry. If you're going to express it, paint on campus might be the best way. You can call it art and not collateral damage.

It's not a crime to be disappointed. Sometimes shit happens, and we're left with the clean-up. Use gloves.

It's not a crime to be sad. If someone says there's no reason and to cheer up; tell them to walk a day in your pajamas!

It's not a crime to be selfish. Sometimes. There are limits. If you find yourself eying some random kid's candy, it's time for some yoga; and if anything was made for pajamas, yoga's it!

It's not a crime to want more. Focus on more success rather than more ice cream. One pays the bills, the other creates them.

It's not a crime to be jealous. Use it as a motivator to achieve the things that are lacking in your life. If you find yourself contemplating a hit man, then it's time to seek therapy.

It's not a crime to not like someone. As long as you can live with the fact that it's probably mutual, and move on.

It's not a crime being different. We live on the planet Earth, not planet Stepford. Whether we like it or not, we are all different. Some might be better at hiding it, but I say flaunt it! Just  don't go into traffic court in said pajamas. They have the power to put you away...

There are many things in the world that are crimes, like killing endangered species, or being cruel to others, or making people who have nothing useful to contribute into celebrities and leaders; being human is not one of them.

:)

Bowl of Possibility

Kernels of decisions pop in the heated receptacle of my mind.
Some turn into to fluffy tastiness.
Others burn at the bottom.

I pour them out into the bowl of possibility.
And as I choose one
Savor it in my mouth.
Feel its buttery goodness
enter my bloodstream.

Action is born.
Achievement is reached.
Satisfaction is attained.

Once I have taken the bowl out of reach
of fate's chapped hands
and hold it lovingly in mine
feel the weight of its contents
empower me.

My hands can clear gardens.
Can caulk cracks in my house.
Can move walls.
Can open paths.
My hands.
Move my life
in the direction of its choice.

And the burned kernels?
They can be tasty too.

Think Much?

Sometimes I think I'm not productive enough. 

Not artistic enough. 

Not interesting enough. 

Sometimes I think I don't get out enough.

I don't have enough friends.

The phone doesn't ring enough.

Have I become out of sight, 

out of mind?

Sometimes I think life is passing me by.

Sometimes I think I can't even try.

Sometimes, I think no one really gives a shit.

Sometimes, I think I think  too much.

That's it.

I stop.

I become a giant me and put on my construction boots.

I stomp on all these self-defeating thoughts

that scuttle around the floor of my life.

I step over them.

And out the door.

I accept my life as it is,

and revel in the morning air.

Join a gym.

The sofa has become too sore.

Dismantle my garden.

No one else will do it.

Take a photograph.

How does life look

through it?

Go have a coffee. Talk to a stranger.

Bring along my sketch book.

Smile.

At the danger

of putting myself 

out there.

As

I tower over the ant hills 

of my problems

and enjoy the vista.

I'm in sight

and out of my

mind.

You've Got the Guns But Not the Ammo

Okay, confession time. I watched the Season 11 Premiere of Dancing with the Stars. I wanted to see the line-up...

And an interesting one at that...

In sports, we had NFL quarterback, Kurt Warner and Los Angeles Laker alum Rick Fox towering over their partners, as they did their best not to trample the women and take some slats off the hardwood floor. In this match, Warner won by a slight margin. Their dancing was shrek, but they both had a certain charisma.

In politics, Bristol Palin took over her mother's love of the public eye, when she made her appearance on the dance floor to do a fairly decent cha-cha transformation from business attire to tassels.. What surprised me is that I actually liked the girl's spunk. I'll try not to hold her progenitor against her.

In breaking news, Michael Bolton and David Hasselhoff did their best to rep men in showbiz but seemed to have picked up planks for legs to support their two left feet; and nearly broke their partners. They made Kurt  and Rick look like ballroom pros.

Audrina Partridge from The Hills, Brandy, and Kyle Massey, a child star that hasn't been in the public eye since, lead the pack of B-List celebs who did a pretty decent job dancing. I can't comment on anything else they did because I'm not a fan. Of the three, I liked Massey's energy the best; Audrina surprised me the most, and Brandy dove headlong into the competition like it would save her career.

The once Carol Brady, Florence Herderson wowed me with the amount of F Bombs she dropped! Gotta respect a 76 year old with a potty mouth and great legs. Nuff said! :)

In comedy, Margaret Cho did her interpretation of the Crazy Madam Butterfly Waltz. I found it hilarious and  unexpectedly graceful. The judges were not amused that they turned such a serious dance into a comedy act. I guess they don't realize this show isn't about saving orphans in a battered country.

But whatever.

Speaking of comedy, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino from Jerkey Shore was one of the contestants. He only had 5 days to rehearse because he had to wrap up this season of drinking, dissing women, and running off his mouth. That didn't stop his performance from being the highlight of the night for me. Not because of his dancing, but because of the judges' comments which I usually fast forward through. When, he tried to be smart with the lead judge, Len Goodman countered, "You've got the guns but not the ammo." I love you Len. Yes I do!

The winner of the evening's scoring was Jennifer "Baby" Grey who doesn't in the least resemble the awkward girl from Dirty Dancing because of the work done on her nose. She broke down during rehearsals when they heard that the song they would be dancing to was the one she danced with Patrick Swayze.  This didn't stop her from pulling off a charming performance, proving that nobody will be putting her in the corner.

Will I be watching again? Truthfully, it's kind of painful watching how awkward a lot of them are on the dance floor, but if Len keeps those lines coming, I might have to skip the dancing and watch what he has to say.

Jerkey Shore

So, how pathetic is it that I'm actually excited my shows are premiering this week? After spending the entire summer transcribing Big Brother feeds, I am aching for some good ole drama, some comedy. Something not real. Something that admits to being scripted.

Oh, I still have my reality and competition shows.

I'm an avid So You Think You Can Dance fan, making sure to catch both the American and Canadian versions. Watching the dancers evolve through some of the stunning choreography throughout the season is exciting. Some of the judges I can do without, but they aren't enough to deter me from watching. Whoever invented the PVR is my hero. Skip.

I watched a season of Kitchen Nightmares only because I mostly like to finish what I've started; but there is altogether way more yelling and abuse than cooking. So I won't be a return customer. Master Chef is supposed to be a much nicer version. so maybe I'll catch it if it returns.

The Top Model shows are great for a laugh, but altogether too irritating to sit through. They should rename it Catty Stick Figures with IQs of Bananas. Meow. That was petty catty of me. Maybe I watched one too many episodes. I have to admit it was like watching a science experiment unfold. How will she make it through this Look See or photoshoot intact? I mean it's so trying being young and thin and interesting-looking.

Survivor and Amazing Race are absolutely fascinating to watch. The challenges are astounding. The human drama piecemeal unlike BB. Outwit, outlast, outplay. Yes please!

I watched one season of Dancing with the Stars, though ballroom dancing is meh to me. I saw it through, but it was irritating that they had a professional dancer and skater amongst celebrities with two and sometimes more left feet. Guess who won? Is the suspense killing you... not so much?

I've tried all the versions of Bachelor/ette/Pad and stopped because it was tainting the whole concept of love and relationships.

I'm still a fan of The Apprentice. I love the challenges and seeing how well I would do in them. I love watching corporate type peeps getting all Jersey Shore on each other.

Which brings me to Jersey Shore. A couple of my colleagues were talking about how great it is, so I set my PVR and recorded an episode to watch.

Seriously?

First of all, there's something intrinsically weird when they need English subtitles for people speaking "English". Granade.

Secondly, if I wanted to watch spoiled men in wife beaters treating women like room service personnel, I would've stayed married. "I treat some women very well," chimes one Jerkey Shorite. Some women? Some?

Thirdly, I thought those hair styles went out in the 90's or is it 80's?

I cannot believe that a bunch of yo-yos who have nothing better to do than party, eat, shop, boink and complain have become famous. Seriously? I'd rather watch Chef Ramsay's face get steaming raw while screaming at some cowering sous chef...

A Time for Change...

Hello Everyone!

During my long absence from my personal blogging, I have been thinking about what direction I want to take. I love this blog and what I have achieved with it, it's time for some change. That doesn't mean I will be deleting or stop using this blog; but it will organically transmute into what it wants to be. When I figure it out...

For the time being, I have decided to focus my attention on the one thing that has been preoccupying my days, and thoughts and energy - school or scruel as I have begun to call it.

As some of you might know... I have been working on a book deconstructing the whole education system, and with that goal in mind, I have created a new blog.

I would love for you to join me and I am looking forward to your insights, experiences and reactions!

So without further ado, I present you:

The Scruel Chronicles

Forgive Me. It Has Been Months....

...since my last online confession!

Life's linemen have dogpiled me; and I've been having a hell of time trying to get out from under them. Not that I have succeeded, as I am doing summer school again this year so that I can finally put down a real floor in my basement.

Imagine that. I will have a whole other floor to use. Heck, maybe I can actually fit more than three people in one room at a time!

Heavens! I might even get a social life again... :)

I would love to report exciting things, and fantastical happenings but alas, I have been chugging along, one manic step at a time.

I would love to reconnect with all of you. I would adore to take the time not just to read your blogs which I do occasionally, but to actually, GASP, comment! As it is, I thought I would post something brief to reassure those of you who are wondering what the heck happened to motor blogger... (BUG HUGS to Linda and Judi!). Believe it or not I think of you often! And I will come by your blog homes and leave some blog love soon! I will also be blogging for Big Brother Dish Chicks!

In case you're wondering I added comment moderation on older posts (namely all of them except this one...lol) because the evil spammers found me. Le sigh! :)

Just one more month and I will be free to be just human again. Sigh... Until then my lovelies!

Judgsicle

It's almost 11 pm; and I had a choice between going to bed, or writing. So, I sit here at my computer, with water and thoughts milling in my head.

Next door, my neighbors are celebrating a birthday in the backyard. They are loud and boisterous. I let the first wave of irritation wash away. I let the negative pass over me. Begrudging them their celebration, no matter how much it's disturbing my train of thought, is beneath me. Judging them because of the drinks they're drinking, and their loud laughter is just plain petty.

Party on dudes.

I think about judgment. The good of it and the bad of it.

And whether our judgments define us.

It is wise to use judgment when assessing new or difficult situations. "Use your best judgment,"they say. Does one buy new clothes one does not need, or does one pay off debt? Will one get more pleasure wearing a new outfit? Of course. Will one get more satisfaction knowing there is less to pay off? No doubt. We can't have our skirt and new furnace too. Decisions need to be made, judgments need to be formed. Sometimes quickly.

Then there is judicial judgment. We count on it's objectivity and fairness, even though at times it rankles our morality. Sometimes judgment sticks in our craw. Sometimes going by the book, by facts alone, bereft of emotion, is necessary. Sometimes, it's not. Emotion is a big part of who we are as human beings. But judgment and emotion don't eat at the same table.

Too much emotion makes judgment, judgmental. It's like going mental. If you're observant, and sometimes even if you're not, you can hear the judgmental in the tone and syntax of statements, aimed to put others in their place.

"Some of us have better things to do."

"That's one hour you can never get back in your life."

"Do you really need to buy another skirt?"

"Don't you think you've had enough?"

"Is that all you did this weekend?"

Why does the word "loser" seem to be a silent member of those sentences? Riding the air of those sentences like a churlish fiend, snickering behind its hand, offering us a big bitter bite from the judgsicles he is selling.

Judgmental scrutiny is often aimed at those of us who do not hide. Those of us who put our true selves out there. Sometimes those statements make hiding a safe idea. Maybe putting ourselves out there is not a very wise thing. Not using our best judgment.

I often think about the times I have caught myself being judgmental. They are not my finest moments. Yet, in acknowledging them, I make myself more aware. In being aware, I force myself to be more fair. More objective. I find myself using good judgment the next time. Or the time after that. After all, I am not perfect.

Far from it. :)

So, I pledge that I will serve people fewer judgcicles. Or at lease try. And when they offer them to me, I will politely decline. Yeah. That sounds like a plan.

Splendiferous Cocoon

There comes a time when the line between the possible and impossible must be drawn. A time to know which battles to retreat from and which to take on. There comes a time when a settled peace must reign, in order to restore direction and sanity. A time to let go, and move on. With less luggage, with fewer expectations, with muted longing.

The turmoil that accompanies striving toward a goal, a goal that cannot be attained no matter how many wishes you make, no matter how many visualizations you conjure, no matter how many intentions are good, must cease. And in that moment, you feel your breath coming in more easily; you feel your muscles relax, your mind unclench.

I have been in a cocoon of seething confusion, going through a tumultuous and often painful process of reshaping my life, untying my expectations, letting go of my perceptions of the unfinished and of failure.

I have numbed my senses so that my brain can use all its stores to work out the problem at hand. The problem that we face at crucial junctures in our lives. The question of: what now?

And the answer came slowly but clearly.

Now.

I dumped all the toxins that my heart and mind have been accumulating, and cleared my vision for the road before me.

This might sound very nebulous, but now with my vision cleared, and my mind off its self-imposed manic merry-go-round, I find myself at peace with my decision and with who I am.

And what of me?

I am a person who speaks the truth in the moment even if it makes others uncomfortable. I refuse to feel guilty for their discomfort because it is born from a habit of subterfuge. I have come to understand that most people find it impossible to speak out in the moment, to address the issue at hand. The answer to the real game of Clue has been: behind closed doors, with half truths, gossip and innuendo. The funny thing is that nothing ever is kept secret. All closed doors have an ear attached to them, listening. Listening. I would rather face the person than her back.

In my so called professional career, I have been targeted because of the fact that I will not sugar coat the truth or the situation. I will not bow down in hypocrisy. When the public punishment came, when I became an example to all that speaking your mind carries dire consequences, even in a society that defends freedom of speech and ideology, I knew that my truth hit home. And when my indignation and anger subsided, I realized that I had won. That even when the worst could happen, I was intact. I am intact.

And so is the truth.

So, I am here blogging. Not about a creative venture I have undertaken, or about a silly show I watch to numb my senses, but about survival.

And to give thanks. Thanks to those of you who have taken a moment of your time to come read, and to give me your support and your lovely words. Your very presence in this world gives me hope. Because you are fabulous.

Life goes on, and as I step over the remnants of my cocoon, bringing with me only the feeling of OM, of Zen, of Je m'en fous. I carry your words with me like a talisman.