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2010-04-22

Judgsicle

It's almost 11 pm; and I had a choice between going to bed, or writing. So, I sit here at my computer, with water and thoughts milling in my head.

Next door, my neighbors are celebrating a birthday in the backyard. They are loud and boisterous. I let the first wave of irritation wash away. I let the negative pass over me. Begrudging them their celebration, no matter how much it's disturbing my train of thought, is beneath me. Judging them because of the drinks they're drinking, and their loud laughter is just plain petty.

Party on dudes.

I think about judgment. The good of it and the bad of it.

And whether our judgments define us.

It is wise to use judgment when assessing new or difficult situations. "Use your best judgment,"they say. Does one buy new clothes one does not need, or does one pay off debt? Will one get more pleasure wearing a new outfit? Of course. Will one get more satisfaction knowing there is less to pay off? No doubt. We can't have our skirt and new furnace too. Decisions need to be made, judgments need to be formed. Sometimes quickly.

Then there is judicial judgment. We count on it's objectivity and fairness, even though at times it rankles our morality. Sometimes judgment sticks in our craw. Sometimes going by the book, by facts alone, bereft of emotion, is necessary. Sometimes, it's not. Emotion is a big part of who we are as human beings. But judgment and emotion don't eat at the same table.

Too much emotion makes judgment, judgmental. It's like going mental. If you're observant, and sometimes even if you're not, you can hear the judgmental in the tone and syntax of statements, aimed to put others in their place.

"Some of us have better things to do."
"That's one hour you can never get back in your life."
"Do you really need to buy another skirt?"
"Don't you think you've had enough?"
"Is that all you did this weekend?"

Why does the word "loser" seem to be a silent member of those sentences? Riding the air of those sentences like a churlish fiend, snickering behind its hand, offering us a big bitter bite from the judgsicles he is selling.

Judgmental scrutiny is often aimed at those of us who do not hide. Those of us who put our true selves out there. Sometimes those statements make hiding a safe idea. Maybe putting ourselves out there is not a very wise thing. Not using our best judgment.

I often think about the times I have caught myself being judgmental. They are not my finest moments. Yet, in acknowledging them, I make myself more aware. In being aware, I force myself to be more fair. More objective. I find myself using good judgment the next time. Or the time after that. After all, I am not perfect.

Far from it. :)

So, I pledge that I will serve people fewer judgcicles. Or at lease try. And when they offer them to me, I will politely decline. Yeah. That sounds like a plan.

5 comments:

gemma said...

I often wonder why judges care so much about how or why I do things the way I do. Do they just want to make themselves seem superior? Generally I don't care how folks do things as long as they don't tread on me or someone I love.
BTW love you

Rowena said...

I've had some moments with the judgciclers lately, and when I look at them, I can see where it comes from. Mostly that place is insecurity. They are trying to put someone else down so they can feel stronger or better. But I am not fooled. A grownup picking on a teenager is someone who is not secure in themselves. They look for the weak. They try to pound other people down to prove their superiority.

It sucks but I am not fooled. It's easier just to remember that they (the meanies) are flawed and scared and acting out like children.

Of course, that doesn't mean I will put up with it, either.

Jane said...

I've come to realize that when I'm judging others there is some part of myself that I need to work on. It's sometimes hard work for me but I always feel a little better when I stop myself in my tracks before I go down the road of judging.

Tabitha said...

I to am learning to erase that word and action from my memory bank. I love your beautiful mind my friend.

linda said...

genie, i am just coming by to see how you are...i hope this long silence only means your life is jammed with fun and excitement, which of course, it doesn't...hoping to hear from you soon. i will see if i can find an email on your blog.
xox ♥ to you, my dear.

be well.