And that's what this post is about.
Let me start by saying that I claim no superior knowledge; but I am a critical thinker. I have been making conscious decisions to disallow anything into my life that has the intention of degrading it. And the list is long.
I do not watch the news. I scan headlines so as not to live with my head in the global sand, but television news is never an option. I refuse to go into a state of unreasonable and misinformed paranoia simply because the local news want to sell more advertising. I refuse to walk around this planet being manipulated by shady practices and corporate interests. I have not knocked down the old and young to secure a vaccine for myself so that I do not die. Fearmongerers will find no victim here. I fail to see how my knowing the gruesome details in someone's death will either help the crime rate, or my heart rate for that matter.
I have also made the conscious decision not to allow my work environment to play havoc with my sanity, serenity or self-worth. I will do what I can to affect change in ways that I can, but I am letting the rest of the garbage go. Since September, I have been finding myself getting riled up daily, almost as soon as my feet hit the school, by incompetence, injustice and downright pettiness. Will my chaotic state of mind eliminate any of those things? Nope. All it it will do is make my blood pressure skyrocket and put me in the hands of a medical profession I have little confidence in.
I have made a conscious effort to let go of all the hurt and confusion generated by those people in my life I have called "friend". The ones on whose VIP list I do not reside. The ones who stand me up without a call. The ones who make plans with me only when they do not have something better going on. The ones who forget to include me in on their plans. The ones who make me feel like an inferior being. I am more than happy in my own company, and I will prefer it over being put in any of the above positions again.
I have stopped trying to twist myself into a pretzel to be liked, accepted or sought after. It has taken me this long to accept myself for who I am, as I am, and I am cool with it. I have faults, and I am working on them. I have assets and I am putting them to good use.
I have removed myself from worrying about what others think or do not think about me. I am not the most interesting individual in the world. My daily life is not so fascinating that others must know about it via twitter or Facebook or blogging.
Do you really want to know about my night out with the girls last night? Is it crucial you know that it was the best night of its kind in a while mostly because the conversation was not dominated by school, or kids or husbands? Does it impact your life knowing that there was a certain measure of guilt associated with the fact that I was actually tired of listening to all that? Does it make me a bad person, and if it does, will you stop following or reading or caring what I say?
And if you do, will it intrinsically change my life?
The one thing I love and miss about the blogging world, is that it has been a venue where I have met some awesomely genuine, beautifully inspiring, infinitely fascinating and stunningly supportive individuals. Would it put too much pressure on you to know that you all have become very important parts of my life? That if I cannot get to your blogs in a while, I crave to know what you're doing?
Well, it's true. Every last word of it. THANK YOU for reading and commenting and being. The world is a better place with you in it.
Blessed be :)
12 comments:
Funny how this post does tie right into today's Self-Expression Springboard...writing counts! Even if you had an intuitive head start ;)
I LOVE what you've done to your home Genie! Especially your new studio...oh wow, wow wow wow.
What a difference that makes!
What a new winter this will be!
I don´t listen to news either. Too much stress about things I can do nothing about.
I love visiting you too. *luv*
Enjoyed your post, Genie, and I love your attitude. :)
Kudos Genie!!! A few years ago I was so stressed by work, family, the news, so-called "friends" to the point where I ended up on blood pressure meds and heart supplements. Life was literally becoming a downer. I came to the realization that weeding out the things and people raining on my parade was not selfish but necessary for myself. I felt like I was carrying the world on my shoulders and I had to save myself before it killed me or at the very least drove me over the edge. I love your post, love your attitude and say YOU GO SISTER!!!
I no longer watch the news either. It is so sad the way everything is becoming in this world. I really enjoyed your post. It echoed a lot of my own feelings.
I wanted to say that I deeply appreciate every word of this entry. I am right there with you.
Wow! Well said!
Can't say I even scan the headlines - I will occasionally check the one minute news - besides usually someone will tell you if something serious is going on newswise.
Work - we spend most of our hours doing it, and even more fretting about it. I've spent the last year letting go of the ferocious hold that work had on me. And in hindsight it took up too much of my identity.
We're always a work in progress.
one of my clients occ asks if I've heard 'xyz' & is always a bit stunned that, unless it's on NPR when I'm in my car, or I stumble across 'it' - I probably haven't!
Great bit of speaking your mind!
blessings
Bye-bye to the ones whose VIP list does not include you. You are a VIP always have been, always will be! Their loss.
I think the world, these past few months, has been pretty topsy turvy for most everyone. Maybe big changes are happening. Maybe they've already begun.
I know it's been hard for me to keep track of people, too. I know I've had to focus down on my own work. I know chaos is only thin veneer away from reigning.
But then, isn't that always the case?
Maybe it's just an illusion that we are in control anyway.
I don't even know if this relates to your post, but it's what you made me think of.
I think we just have to breathe, and keep breathing. And move one step at a time.
That comment about the friends piece and the job really hit home for me. Thanks for expressing how I'm feeling right now! Love ya!
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