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2009-10-09

There's An 'I' in Desire

(click for better view)

The truth is that I am often afraid to name my desires. This has been instilled in me from a young age. Asking for and seeking what you truly want is selfish and greedy. How messed up is that?

Assigning a certain guilt to what we most desire is tantamount to substituting salt for sugar in pudding. You reach for that yummy bowl of chocolaty delight, and when the first spoonful hits your taste buds - horror.

Going through the balancing and restorative practice of nothing, and being open to truth is very freeing. It's like peeling layers of dead skin off my soul.

Having been felled by the flu mid-week, which necessitated the need to stay home, has afforded me a long visit with nothing and truth. And with the fever, desire started bubbling to the surface.

What do I desire? Without guilt. Without the nagging sense of unworthiness. Without the judgmental naysayers that have been implanted in me at a young age.

I sat at my computer and opened Photoshop. I started making my vision card, allowing the images to gather themselves into the palette.

The mermaid emerged, serene and centered not only in the magical realm of the ocean, but with strong roots in passion and color. Unfettered and free to explore the beauty of creation. Carnal desire, the melding of two bodies and hearts, lies deep in the roots of desire. The One of two. The sliding into place, merging as one moving entity. And from that emerges a stronger woman, one stable in her place in the scheme of things. Open to experience. Open to creation. Open to others in an elemental way. In a way that makes a difference.

I have many passions.

I am passionate about teaching. I love being able to trigger slumbering minds into creative thought.
I am passionate about painting. I love playing with images, colors and textures to create something that will speak from my soul directly to that of others.
I am passionate about writing. I love words and how they can evoke thoughts and feelings and other worlds.
I am passionate about friendship. I love my tribe which includes everyone I have met online. I will slay a dragon for them.
I am passionate about children. They are the very fabric of life that must be cared for, nurtured, and strengthened.
I am passionate about justice. I want everyone to have a fair shake at life, and success.
I am passionate about love. I desire to be joined through all my chakras to the Male.
I am passionate about my home. I love to create an atmosphere of warm hospitality.
I am passionate about travel. I yearn to explore every crevice of this planet which is my home.

Now that I have opened the way, I wish to find the way to manifest my Desires.

To read about others' journey with Desire, go to Jamie Ridler's Next Chapter book club on Martha Beck's The Joy Diet here!

PS. This flu has really weakened me, so please forgive me if I am not able to get to your posts right away. I will be reading and commenting throughout the next few days.

27 comments:

Sherry Smyth said...

I understand this post very well. Very well indeed. Our pasts have similarities it seems.

I love your vision card and I love how you were able to have it all come together..like gathering those pebbles Martha Beck speaks of.

Here is to wishing both of us the discovery of our desires...with no guilt attached. No more sabotage!!

Tabitha said...

I was afraid and sometimes I slip back into that mind frame, but I never stay there for long. WE deserve to have our dreams/goals/desires come to fruition!

Reading this book has shown me many things, but I learn more from my sisters in this circle. :)

You are indeed my sister♥

Jane said...

Very true words indeed. Many of us are told as children to stop being selfish and those old tapes stay with us. In my case, I always felt inadequate as a child. Maybe I thought I didn't deserve good things. Then as an adult, I threw my attention in to everyone else's needs; that somehow made me feel like a good person. I like that I'm taking charge of my desires now...slowly :))

Lawendula said...

Ah the passions! :)

WrightStuff said...

Get well soon Genie Sea...
Your mermaid is truly beautiful and your passion list full of purpose.

Grammy said...

That was just beautiful. You words and your desires are wonderful. May you fulfill all your desires.

Serena said...

Your mermaid painting is gorgeous, Genie! I've been imaging a mermaid painting that I would like to get onto a canvas for some time now.....your painting may be the cue I needed to make a start.

I loved your post today...so full of love and desire.

I haven't been doing well myself health-wise ever since the dust storm hit so I empathise with you. Take time to heal and rejuvenate, my friend. (((Hugs)))

gemma said...

Your mermaid exudes desire and passion. She is just beautiful.
I hope that you will be totally in the moment when he comes and sweeps you away, during love, and home life and career and during the time all of your passions become satisfied. Be there in each moment.
LOVE

Paula - Buenos Aires said...

Quick recovery thoughts for you. *luv*

Michelle Eaton said...

Hi Genie, I have an award for you on my blog :)

Helen said...

I loved reading your passions. Hope you feel better soon!

Amelie said...

Thank you so much for sharing your week with desire and your artwork. They are both absolutely inspiriational

Gemini Visions said...

Sorry your not feeling well :-( But you have taken an important step in identifying what you desire. It won't be long until you articulate them!

bubbly girl said...

Your list of passions really resonated with me. And that mermaid is truly beautiful!

Angie said...

Your collage card is beautiful!
As I read through your post your desires and passions really resonated with me, to have a life that could help fulfill those passions would truly bring happiness.

Lisa @sacred circle said...

It's amazing how the most pure and simple and beautiful of passions can be thought of as selfish... I know what you mean... I've done that myself. I'm so happy to see you opening up to what you love.... who knows where it could bring you! And oh, what a gorgeous mermaid! :)

Dia said...

Yumm - what a deliciously passionate & rich card! Loved what you wrote - burning passions - & am happy to be one of those cyber friends :)
I always treasure your visits to the Vale, & appreciate your shining spirit!

The Other Laura said...

Thanks for sharing your beautiful vision card and your thoughts about desire!

Pink Heels said...

I spent years feeling guilty about my desires. Afterall, I was conditioned under Catholicism...guilt, guilt, guilt were the name of the game. It wasn't until I turned 26 that I decided to stop and evaluate the value and HEALTHINESS of desire. I haven't looked back since that moment!

Karen D said...

I feel that same guilt in "wanting things" it is hard to overcome, but we will do it together here. Thank you for sharing your journey with desire this week.

Valerie at City|Life|Eats said...

It is so true that we are taught from an early age that to desire/want should be associated with guilt.

I hope your flu is better soon!

linda said...

hi genie, hoping this comment a few days late--sigh--will find you feeling better....this is a lovely image as are all your wonderful desires, some of which I share myself...may we both find what we seek!♥

originalbliss said...

Great post!!!! And such a beautiful sea goddess!!!
Hope you are feeling better!!!

megg said...

Oh Genie - I wish I had as many passions! I often think that I should be more passionate - this post has made me really stop and think. Thank you.

Kim Mailhot said...

Wow, Genie, this is a powerful post - in spite of the weakness you may be feeling physically. Your mermaid and all she embodies of your soul's desires is magnificent ! May she bring your desires to manifestation with no guilt and no self-denial. You deserve to have those soul desires fulfilled, beautiful One.
Get stronger soon - take care of you.

linda said...

hello there, I have a little something for you on my blog if you feel up for a visit! hoping this finds you well...

Sarah Lulu said...

I am also learning to express my desires and that's it's ok to have them!

I hope your flu is better I'm in the middle of mine. xx