Bachelor in Paradise? Hell yeah.

So yes, I'm watching Bachelor Pad, I mean, Bachelor in Paradise. Who can resist a hot mess that makes you feel so much better about your life and relationships? What are the odds that such a group of physically attractive people cannot sustain a relationship longer than a mosquito sting?

Anyway!

The second episode began with the sorry tale of Michelle K who left the show because of an illicit fling with one of the handlers. Hasn't this been done before? Didn't a twerp leave one of the Bachelors because of such a fling? I'd research it, but I don't care enough; but what does it say about these shows that the handlers are getting more action than the actual cast?

Anyway!

The dude obviously has more looks than brain cause she jumped off the second story balcony, breaking both his legs. What a putz. Wait! That's his name. And people say names don't predetermine the course of one's life. He winds up in the hospital, Michelle in the limo, suggesting that she found someone.

Anyway!

Love is in the air?

AshLee still has Graham in her clutches but I'm not sure how much longer this relationship will last. She might be planning their wedding; but he's planning his escape.

Lacey and Marcus paw each other in front of a scorned Robert's eyes, as he wonders what went wrong. Marcus jumped the rose line and won her attentions, dude.

Elise and Dylan seemed to hit it off, until her incessant babbling prompted him to invite her to date other peeps. When she lip-locked with the newly-arrived Chris, after his date with Clare, it sent Dylan into a full-out pout mode. Despite Elise's pleading to forgive her, he invited Sarah on a date. It didn't help him though. He refused Elise's rose and was tossed when Sarah gave hers to Robert.

Anyway!

When Marcus "accidentally" found Ben's love letter and confronted him about the woman who wrote it, Ben was forced to admit he was into her. This prompted a Michelle Money meltdown, bemoaning the unfairness of of it all, that she left her daughter and was cheated from a possible hook-up.

Anyway! Ben dramatically walked off the show. I won't be crying in my popcorn.

Speaking of Michelle M, she gave Marquel a rose despite the fact that he pretty much told her she's an alcoholic and had a list of issues about her, instead of Robert with whom she hit it off. And then they wonder why they can't make a relationship work.

Clare stopped talking to the wildlife when Zack walked onto the scene. His appearance revived Clare's hopes as she ran to be the first to greet him, latching onto him like a Bachelor lifesaver.

Anyway! Sarah and Robert are floating with a sea of drama surrounding them.

And I'm loving it.