Fat Chance

No one wants to be fat. Not really. Some people have the confidence to own it and still be fabulous, but most of us struggle. How can we not? We are constantly bombarded with the notion that obesity can kill, that being overweight reduces the quality of life, that fat people aren't aesthetically pleasing or sexy. In a world of size 0, size 14 and up have no chance.

It's not just the images that bombard us on magazine covers and television. It's not the fact that a fat person either is the "funny" one or the one who is publicly ridiculed and mocked. It's the fact that any celebrity, usually a woman, who is a size 12 or up, who could be a role model for an alternate body image, who has the ability to create a more balanced aesthetic, has jumped ship. They sponsor a weight loss program and shout to the world how great it is. Let's ignore the fact that they have a team of chefs, personal trainers, and plastic surgeons on staff. Let's ignore that they have the time, money and luxury to reinvent themselves. Just look how fantastic they look now that they're "normal". And the not so sub text? You can be normal too, not a pathetic, unattractive, FAT loser. Cha ching.

Fat is the new leprosy.

I sometimes see that horrified look in people's eyes. "How can you do that to yourself?" their disgusted ogle states. "Stop eating so much. (They haven't seen me put a morsel of food in my mouth.) Did you eat a small starving nation to get like that?"

Fat jokes abound. There are even terms for fat chicks who go out with their better looking (read: thinner) friends. She's called a "grenade". Absolutely lovely. That pretty much ensures that women above a certain weight would need Herculean bravery to go out. They don't want to anyway. No. They want to stay home, alone, eating creme puffs and watching TV. Or. They can always try those big and beautiful sites trolled by men who like big women. Fat has become a fetish.

"So, if you hate it so much;" asks the person who has never struggled with the esteem-destroying condition, "why don't you just lose weight? Stop eating. Get on a treadmill."

The sympathy abounds. People with anorexia get concern. People who are fat get contempt.

Here's the thing, the issue isn't food. Food contributes to the problem, but it's just a symptom. Sure, this can be rectified with a decreased intake of calories and an increased expenditure of the same. It's not rocket science. The problem goes beyond the surface that everyone is so occupied with. It's psychological.

When I lost 100 pounds, I didn't' change my diet at all. My attitude towards food changed. It became a means to an end - satiating hunger - not an end in itself. I enjoyed my meals, just as I enjoy a cool glass of water when I'm thirsty. I also walked about 20 minutes to and from work. That's it. No diet plan. No gym membership. No supplements or teas or other gimmicks. I was living life as unfettered from emotional trauma as I have ever had.  It was the first time in my life, I felt like me. And the true me emerged.

What caused me to gain weight again, was new emotional trauma; but I'll get to that in another post.

The vital juncture in one's life to having and maintaining a "healthy body weight" is early on. If a child gains too much weight at a crucial time in her life, during or just before the onset of puberty, that equates to an increase in fat cells. You can reduce the size of fat cells, but you can't get rid of them. So, the struggle to keep those damn, rotund jailers at bay becomes a lifetime struggle.

It's vitally important for parents to make sure that their children and tweens learn a balanced attitude toward food and physical activity. I'm not advocating to go all commando parent and restrict everything. I'm talking about a balance between healthy eating and the occasional treat, a line between sedentary activities and ones that require physical movement.

Teaching a child to love themselves is one of the most important things a parent can give her.

The problem often lies with the fact that the adults in obese children's lives also have an unbalanced attitude toward food. It's highly likely that a child of obese parents will in turn become obese. Once the child becomes obese, even in a nation where obesity is the rule not the exception, the psychological trauma begins. The name calling. The ugly clothing. The being singled out. The false assumptions. If you add any kind of psychological, physical or sexual abuse to the mix, then it becomes a catastrophic condition.

It would be nice if we lived in a world that celebrated all sizes. It would be nice if the medical profession hadn't sold out so completely to the pharmaceutical. It would be great if profits weren't attached to people's physical or psychological well being. It would be nice if everyone had a beautiful home and their needs met. That's a fantasy. The reality of the situation is far from it.

What I would settle for, is maybe being allowed to exist without being judged within an inch of my life as I struggle with the issues that have smothered me in layers. But I know, there's a fat chance of that happening.

Gluten-Free for Me

I am on week two of my gluten-free existence. You would think it would be a hardship like most dietary restrictions, but it's not. At first, it was difficult trying to find substitutes for the yumminess that comes in gluten products such as whole grain breads which I love, but I have successfully navigated the substitutions and feel no loss.

It's been like a mini mystery, trying to discover all those hidden glutens that reside in foods like ice cream and oyster sauce; but I have been reading labels like they are the hottest best sellers. It doesn't help that I have also eliminated all soy products from my diet as well, and you would be surprised where soy resides. I have had to become more creative in my preparation of marinades using oyster juice, Tabasco sauce and sesame seed oil for my stir-fried meals.

But it's all worth it because less gluten equals smaller glutes. :)

And the results have been dramatic. The dry patches are disappearing from my skin. I don't feel bloated all the time. I don't get acid reflux all the time like I used to. I have more energy. I am sleeping better.

Fruit, vegetables and nuts have substituted other gluten-rich foods. I am eating more meals throughout the day, and make sure I have protein with each meal. I feel full faster, and stay full throughout the day.

Who would have thought that such innocuous substances could do such damage to my system and my well-being? Who could have thought that with some small changes, I could feel worlds better? And I haven't even started my new workout routine!

Fantastic! :)

December Whirl

I awake this morning slightly groggy and hung over. Strange, I had nothing to drink... Maybe it's the weather or maybe because it's my first day without Soul Coaching, I am feeling tired.

But how can I be when this is the first thing I see when I open my eyes in the morning? ---------->

This is my Stinky. My little companion and reality check. This photo was taken by my god daughter. Isn't he so cute? :)

Oh and it's December now!

I have meetings this week up the wazoo. I am running a blogging workshop for Professional Development this Friday. I have a lot of work coming my way before the two week break!

So much to do this month. Such a whirlwind of activity and plans. Birthday parties, holiday gatherings, making gifts (I decided this year will be a craft year), decorating my home (it's been a few Christmases that I hadn't bothered to decorate my tree), get-togethers with friends. Whirl whirl!

In this festive bustle, I have made a few appointments with myself.

Yesterday when I was decluttering and reorganizing my closet, I found a box from my move that I had stowed away. (I moved two years ago!) I found a paraffin facial bath that I had bought eons ago. Guess who's going to be using it? Can you say Spa Night? :)

I am making an appointment to see a Naturopath in two weeks and an acupuncturist this Saturday.

During the holidays, I will be resting a lot because I need it badly. I have scheduled empty days of recharging, but I will also be finishing the last 4 chapters of a novel I started in the Ice Age. They are all mapped out, all I need to do is fill in the blanks. That is one thing I need to square away. Check. Done. Move on. Pass it along. Make it someone else's "To Do" Item. :)

I feel different. Stronger, more serene, not prone to drowning in the dark cloud that I allowed to hang over me.

I know this week will have its challenges, and adventures.

I am getting together tomorrow night with my friend and partner in crime Renata, to plan out next semester for our department.

I am part of the union executive at our school and we will be having a very important meeting this Wednesday. It will define the staff as victors or victims. We are taking action to document all the examples of harassment and abuse, and present it to our union leader. Take THAT! :)

Thursday night is our Department Holiday social so I will be baking spanakopita on Wednesday night while watching the finale of So You Think You Can Dance- Canada. Yum! My recipe strays a little from the traditional one. I add sun-dried tomatoes and olives to my filling... Drool? :)

No wonder I woke up tired! Haha!

But one thing I know for sure. I will be enjoying every minute of it. Even if it is very challenging and frustrating. I will allow the stress and upset if it comes my way to roll off my back. I will smile in the face of adversity.

That is what Soul Coaching has taught me. I found my equilibrium and I will allow nothing to take it away. Unless it's the man of my dreams, and then I will allow myself some swooning. Wink! :)

I hope you are all well and embarking on amazing new journeys!

Blessed be! :)