Holidaze
Lose it as we go
Oh what joy to snip and snarl
At Home Depot and Costcooooo
Oh my sweet sanity. Day two of my holiday vacation and I'm going like the energizer dummy. I have been blessed with four invitations over the holidays, and though I am thrilled to be spending these days with good friends who are my family, it also requires going out into the madness to buy some pressies, some hostess gifties, and some goodies.
And you know what that means?
Braving the multitudes of single-minded, blinded shoppers who snarl at you when you happen to take the last Starbucks gift basket. I go into Ninja stealth mode, chant my mantra, "Do not kill anyone. Do not kill anyone." And go my merry way. I have succeeded in my mission to buy pressies for the little ones, hostess gifts for my friends, and little tokens of my affection that have depleted my bank account. Le sigh.
Of course that isn't all. Amongst all this, I discovered that one of my tires kept going flat, again, so I took it to the mechanic and suggested he check the valve and the rim because there is no way I was buying yet another tire at $200 a pop. Indeed, the rim was dented and letting the air out of the tire, so I had to bend my trajectory to Canadian Tire, buy a rim which they miraculously had for my diva car, and return to the most honest and best mechanic in the world, to replace it for the grand total of 20 bucks. I heart my new mechanic! I've been to several others in my tire quest and they each made me buy new tires.
I've had to also brave Home Depot, which is filled by a staff of the most belligerent and unhelpful individuals, if you can find them. I was in the process of installing the last folding door only to discover the package is missing a piece. Holy crapadoodle. So i need to brave attitude central and plead my case.
Rwar!
But I am determined to finish this ongoing job and restore some heat to my now bedroom. To that end, I also need to buy some fabric (I decided on burgundy silk, which should be no problem, right? Ha!) to make curtains to give the doorway between the porch and my bedroom some added heat.
The one miracle of the season is that we have had next to no snow, and unlike the romantics who crave a postcard Christmas, I am grateful I don't have to deal with the messy aftermath and the homicidal drivers.
Oh and shall we talk about the lineups? Sweet patience, do not desert me now. I have bruises from shopping carts being rammed into parts of my body that have been minding their business. At Costco, I nearly left behind 3 pricey items because the buffoon running that checkout was more interested in a speedy return, than making sure customers had everything they bought in their possession. I have been given the stink eye so many times, I have started rituals to cleanse their evil vibes off me. Jail is not where I want to spend the holidays, so I have taken to smiling sweetly and saying "And Merry Christmas to you which in real speak means fuck off!"
Only two more shopping days. Good luck to everyone! See you on the other side. :)
