Forgive Me. It Has Been Months....

...since my last online confession!

Life's linemen have dogpiled me; and I've been having a hell of time trying to get out from under them. Not that I have succeeded, as I am doing summer school again this year so that I can finally put down a real floor in my basement.

Imagine that. I will have a whole other floor to use. Heck, maybe I can actually fit more than three people in one room at a time!

Heavens! I might even get a social life again... :)

I would love to report exciting things, and fantastical happenings but alas, I have been chugging along, one manic step at a time.

I would love to reconnect with all of you. I would adore to take the time not just to read your blogs which I do occasionally, but to actually, GASP, comment! As it is, I thought I would post something brief to reassure those of you who are wondering what the heck happened to motor blogger... (BUG HUGS to Linda and Judi!). Believe it or not I think of you often! And I will come by your blog homes and leave some blog love soon! I will also be blogging for Big Brother Dish Chicks!

In case you're wondering I added comment moderation on older posts (namely all of them except this one...lol) because the evil spammers found me. Le sigh! :)

Just one more month and I will be free to be just human again. Sigh... Until then my lovelies!

Splendiferous Cocoon

There comes a time when the line between the possible and impossible must be drawn. A time to know which battles to retreat from and which to take on. There comes a time when a settled peace must reign, in order to restore direction and sanity. A time to let go, and move on. With less luggage, with fewer expectations, with muted longing.

The turmoil that accompanies striving toward a goal, a goal that cannot be attained no matter how many wishes you make, no matter how many visualizations you conjure, no matter how many intentions are good, must cease. And in that moment, you feel your breath coming in more easily; you feel your muscles relax, your mind unclench.

I have been in a cocoon of seething confusion, going through a tumultuous and often painful process of reshaping my life, untying my expectations, letting go of my perceptions of the unfinished and of failure.

I have numbed my senses so that my brain can use all its stores to work out the problem at hand. The problem that we face at crucial junctures in our lives. The question of: what now?

And the answer came slowly but clearly.

Now.

I dumped all the toxins that my heart and mind have been accumulating, and cleared my vision for the road before me.

This might sound very nebulous, but now with my vision cleared, and my mind off its self-imposed manic merry-go-round, I find myself at peace with my decision and with who I am.

And what of me?

I am a person who speaks the truth in the moment even if it makes others uncomfortable. I refuse to feel guilty for their discomfort because it is born from a habit of subterfuge. I have come to understand that most people find it impossible to speak out in the moment, to address the issue at hand. The answer to the real game of Clue has been: behind closed doors, with half truths, gossip and innuendo. The funny thing is that nothing ever is kept secret. All closed doors have an ear attached to them, listening. Listening. I would rather face the person than her back.

In my so called professional career, I have been targeted because of the fact that I will not sugar coat the truth or the situation. I will not bow down in hypocrisy. When the public punishment came, when I became an example to all that speaking your mind carries dire consequences, even in a society that defends freedom of speech and ideology, I knew that my truth hit home. And when my indignation and anger subsided, I realized that I had won. That even when the worst could happen, I was intact. I am intact.

And so is the truth.

So, I am here blogging. Not about a creative venture I have undertaken, or about a silly show I watch to numb my senses, but about survival.

And to give thanks. Thanks to those of you who have taken a moment of your time to come read, and to give me your support and your lovely words. Your very presence in this world gives me hope. Because you are fabulous.

Life goes on, and as I step over the remnants of my cocoon, bringing with me only the feeling of OM, of Zen, of Je m'en fous. I carry your words with me like a talisman.

Blog Interrupted

I have reached a blog crisis. Every time I think about my blog, I am riddled with guilt. Guilt that I am not keeping up with it. Guilt that I am not visiting my blogging buddies even though I think of you often. Guilt that I am not writing/sharing anything meaningful.

As I watch my followers dwindle, I am overtaken with a sense of loss. Why wouldn't people stop following? What's to follow? I have reduced my blogging to writing about a show I am not that into and which, in the grand scheme of my life, means nothing. And the guilt rages on.

I make resolutions to write every day. And I do write every day. Just not on my blog. I can only share my book when I have secured copyright. We all know that no matter how many copyright laws are in place, people routinely and blithely steal off the internet. Images, words, songs, movies. The list goes on.

The fact remains that my life is in turmoil right now. I am in a holding pattern, focusing on one step at a time. I have been beaten down, and though I am not one to cave, it has taken its toll on me. Many mixed metaphors here.

My life has become a mixed metaphor.

Around me lie bits and pieces of my projects, dreams, goals. Scrap book stickers, beads, and watercolors. I start a project and wander off into my catatonia. I cannot sustain a thought long enough to express it properly.

I stumble over my words.

Yes, I still laugh and make others laugh. Yes. I reach out to my friends. Yes. I pour my creativity into my lessons. Into my passion.

But right now. I am a woman in a Picasso painting. I am a mosaic of splintered pieces of what I have been and I am transforming. Slowly. Taking bird steps. Shaking my wings.

Which brings me back to this blog.

I have been teetering on the brink of deleting it. With the need to step away from the guilt it is generating, I have been wondering whether it is best to make a clean break.

But I miss you all. I miss your stories of empowerment, and struggle, and victory. I miss your art, your children, your words. Yet, I do not come to your door. Because I will come with empty hands and an empty mind.

So I apologize. That I have not been present. That I have not come to visit you and spread seeds of joy like I used to for a long time. I still care about you, think about you, and love you.

Blessed be. :)

And the living is easy...

One thing I love about summer, is everything becomes more relaxed.
Stress melts away.
The weather is beautiful, even when it is raining.

I love it all!
Longer days.
Lovely breezes.
The sun.
The lush greenery and delicious scents of summer.
The patios.
The barbecues.
The back yard get-togethers.
Sitting on the porch in the evening.

Even during a garbage strike.
Even if I am working summer school.
Nothing seems to get to me.

So when someone complains about the weather (you will find those any season), I smile and say, "It's not snowing. It's not dark at 4 pm."

I can open up all the windows and let summer into my home.
I can go out in flip flops.
No boots. No coat. No layers.

You gotta love it!

And you know what else there is to love?

Monday and Dancing!
And do I have a treat for you! Enjoy! :)



How adorable is he?
Shake it babies! :)

Spring Clean

(click to enlarge)

The calendar says it's spring, but when I look outside, I'm not so convinced. SNOW!

To cheer myself up, I decided to paint this in photoshop and include it as one of the choices for my upcoming giveaway! The original is 1024 x 768 and can be used as a desktop wallpaper. If the winner prefers I can print out a smaller version and send it to them. :)

I am still fighting this super virus that has gotten a hold of me. My voice was mostly back yesterday, but I went to work and almost lost it again! So, I made myself stay home again today.

Not that I'm complaining. I don't want to go out in that! :)

As the season awakens to new life, budding blooms and fresh perspective, I am taking this moment to clear out, clean up and make way for renewal. It's time for Spring Clean!

My home:

I am not one to hold on to clutter, but there are boxes here and there that have stayed packed and stowed away since my move almost three years ago! I am taking them out, looking through them, and chucking stuff out! If I have not missed those things in all this time, they are not essential to me.

My body:

I will be doing a cleanse to get rid of toxins and prepare my fleSHrine for health and restoration. I have an appointment with the naturopath on the 20th, and I want to get rid of the debris in my system first. I am going to be mindful of what gets inside of me, looking for healthier and more meaningful alternatives.

My heart:

As I open my heart to others' happiness, I open my heart to mine. I rejoice without expectation, and release the emotional baggage that has been weighing my heart down. Open the windows and valves of my heart, for fresh spring air and possibilities.

My mind:

There is something brewing there. Something exciting. I can feel it under the surface, percolating and getting ready. I have a couple of projects on the go, but I know it's not them. Something is about to be born of my mind. Something I have been awaiting for a long time.

My life:

I have been cocooning for a while. It's time to step out into the sunshine, and revel in the beauty of what is experience.

It's time.

Yes it is!

What does your spring cleaning look like?

Wishes, Monsters and Various Things

(click on image for larger view)

Hello my lovelies! Thank you for all your encouraging and helpful remarks yesterday! You are like manna. :) Above is another attempt at art with photoshop... I have been doing graphic arts for years now, but this is new territory for me. This is the first step to me diving into un-virtual art when my studio is in place.

Why Medussa you wonder?

Well.

That's how I was feeling at the end of the day. I had followed through with my plan to keep my day peaceful and it was, until I stepped into the office at the end of the day.

I'm not going to bore you with details, but yours truly had a minor (okay majorish) meltdown. I discovered, yet again, final straw, that certain teachers were not doing what they were supposed to and it is putting the integrity of our exams into question. When I was told, "I don't care." I, unfortunately felt all my frustration bubble over into a minor nuclear incident. How does one make adults follow through and care about their professional duties? How?

I came home, and I seethed. I was exhausted and decided to skip dinner, and skip work, and just paint. So Medussa was born.

I went to bed early, disappointed in the people I work with, disappointed with myself for losing it, just disappointed.

Of course, my mind wouldn't shut down. So I woke up at 3:30 am and wrote down three pages of expectations for the department, for the courses, for final evaluations, and for exams. I feel better now but groggy as all get-go.

On to happier things...

I added to my landscape from the previous post and now it looks like this:

(click on image for larger view)

Jamie is continuing her fabulous work with wishcasting . I am definitely in need of some wishes, so my first wish is for...

Undisturbed Internal Serenity

In your commments, if you wish to comment please include the following: "As Genie wishes for herself, so I wish also."

I need to be able to maintain my serenity in the face of continued challenges and adversity. I want my meltdowns to melt away. I am a passionate person, and though I control myself 90% of the time... well there is that 10%... There is so much a camel can take. :) I wish for an oasis of serenity to grow strong inside me. I wish to bathe in her waters, and feel fortified by her peace.

This is my wish for you as well.

Blessed be :)

Doodles and things

So I tried my hand at doodling in photoshop last night. It was a great way to relax and play! It was also one of my first tries actually painting using the program rather than just using it for image manipulation and digital collage.

It wasn't easy. I don't have one of these, so this is completely done with my mouse. It's like painting with a brick...

There are about 15 layers to this piece creating the glow around her and her wings. The wings themselves have about 8 layers alone. It's not a masterpiece, but it's a beginning...

I also started my first landscape and this is the first stage...

I am pretty happy with this so far. I will be adding details to it as I go. It took me about 10 layers to create the sky and water just the way I like it. I really like the clouds, they have the voluptuousness that I was going for. I need to work on my land mass. It needs more definition.

Really, this was SO much fun! I decided I was going to play with photoshop last night instead of putting another dent in my marking. My brain was as reluctant to mark as a kid is going to the dentist. I tried dragging it, but it jammed itself in the doorway screaming at the top of its lungs. So, like a soft parent, I gave in and let my mind play instead. :)

Sometimes parents need to give in :)

I am ready, willing, and able to expand my creativity this year and start expressing the ideas that have been clambering inside my head for years. Creating a studio space on a small budget and getting all the tools and materials I need will be the challenge but I am up to the challenge.

I have reorganized my steps of achieving this by starting with the least expensive and most manageable. Getting a tablet, changing the light fixture in the room, and scouting for an affordable Mac laptop with all the trimmings. I found that I can get an educator's discount from Adobe, to purchase CS4.

I am also scouting used furniture places and the online lists for a table that suits my needs dimensionally; I can modify it later, starting with putting wheels on the legs. Because my house is so "cozy", I don't have a lot of room for traditional chairs, but a friend of mine was very generous to give me two upholstered benches that can seat four comfortably. As for storage space, since I cannot realistically afford that sideboard (I sigh), I will have to be scouting around for cheaper solutions. :)

Linda asked me how I did the bullets in my previous post. You can find a complete list here !

My groggy brain is having a hard time waking up this morning. I might have to rethink going to the gym in the mornings again instead of after school... It has been increasingly difficult getting up at 5 am so I can do that. Maybe when the days get longer...

Yesterday's routine of staying in my room during lunch made my day go so much smoother and reduced my stress levels by 90%. When my workload eases a bit (we are in the middle of finals and preparing for exams), I will be going on walks during lunch. Get out into the fresh air, get some exercise, and get away from it all for half an hour.

Indeed life is good. :)

Thank you all for your amazingly supportive and helpful comments yesterday. I know what I did was the right thing for me, and it is high time I started taking care of my emotional well-being not just that of others. It didn't stop the twinge of guilt that I was being an insensitive b♠tch. I genuinely care about people, and I don't like to see people suffering, but that caring has been abused by certain people in the past, and I am putting a stop to it. The guilty feeling was a residual, and you all helped me so much in relieving it. TH♥NK YOU again! :)

Blessed be my friends :) May your day be filled with play, peace and bliss! :)

Peace on Earth

You know when you make that perfect cup of coffee? Or tea or hot chocolate or martini? It has the exact proportions of all the right ingredients that when blended together make a heavenly concoction.

Right now, I am drinking a perfect cup of coffee. My mouth is smiling, my brain is humming, my tummy greets it happily.

This is my morning ritual. I don't care what anyone says, coffee is Zen. :)

This is just the beginning of my Sunday morning ritual which culminates in a lovely brunch while watching Corrie Street.

If you haven't tried the show, don't knock it. It's comfort food for the soul. I have watched it for more years than I have watched anything. There is something about its grass roots aura that appeals to me. It's touching and endearing and goes perfectly with bacon and eggs, raw baby spinach and sprouted grains toast. :)

Outside, the snow is coming down. The streets are quiet. People are sleeping. Everything is blanketed in peace. For now, no one is gunning for the mall in gluttonous consumerism. Right now, no one is screaming at anyone else because of a fender bender in the mall parking lot. This moment, no one is worried because their to-do list is too long.

Right now, as I count my blessings, I send out into the world the wish that everyone is warm, fed, and their thirsts are quenched. Yesterday, Serena posted a powerful video that touched the very core of my belief system. If you haven't had a chance to see it, you can watch it here.

This year, I am deeply aware of the sharp contrasts between the haves and the have-nots. The need for human kindness is greater than it has ever been before. Yesterday, a man approached me, visibly distraught, because he needed gas to get his wife home. I didn't stand there and deconstruct why he was driving on no budget. I didn't wonder if he was scamming me. I took out what change I had and gave it to him. No one should ever be in that position to beg for anything. He told me he was very ashamed having to ask, and I replied, "There is no shame. Any one of us can be in this position."

Anyone of us can be in this position.
Any one of us.

I am acutely aware of the fact that I am blessed. The Universe has heaped me with blessings. I have the luxury of brunch and Corrie in a warm house with a loving cat to scratch for scraps of bacon, and to curl up snoring on my legs. I have the luxury to decide which book I will read today, which movie of the six that I rented to watch. I can plan whether I want lentil soup with sauteed onions for dinner, or chili. I have choices. I am blessed to have them.

I have the luxury to create and be inspired. I can watch a video like the one Leah posted here and be moved to reach for my soul's passion.

Life is so delicate
a transmuting thing,
One moment we're
flying on gossamer wings
The next moment we topple
overcome by the strain
Our whole world
encumbered by
deep-rooted pain
Some people possess
riches untold
While others starve
outside
in the cold.
The Universe's bounty
is limitless
and while we strive for
enrichment
we must remember this
That others on earth
need our prayers too
We must spread our love
and let it shine through
to everyone around us
not only our friends
because any one of us
can meet with this end.

Today marks the unveiling of the final Major Arcana card I designed - Balance. Formerly known as "justice". Balance is a more comprehensive and less bureaucratic manifestation. With balance, we can make wise and considered choices while looking at the big picture of life. Our actions are balanced by our reactions. Our pain is balanced by happiness. Out of a devastating storm comes overwhelming humanity. From tears comes laughter. Without the darkness, we cannot see the light.

This card is not about lawyers and litigation. It's about the infinite wisdom of our instincts - both spiritual and carnal. We have all the tools to maintain a balanced life- being thankful for our blessings, while acknowledging that others need help to find their own.

Balance is about the serenity of knowing one's place in the a world filled with souls each on his/her journey to find their source.

May your life be balanced. May your tables be full. May your hearts glow with love.

Blessed be :)

Solitude

There are days that I crave solitude. Days when I feel every bit of my energy drained by other people. Days when I need to restore myself, away from people.

Maybe this is a side-effect of a profession that demands so much social contact, so many interactions, so much energy. A profession that requires you to be "on" all the time.

I am looking forward to switching "off" for a bit. Off the beaten path. Off duty. Off the hook. Off in my own world.

Last night, we had our staff holiday party and it was fun to chat with people, share a drink, dance a little bit. Unwind. People are infinitely interesting, and so different away from their jobs. It was nice to hang out with colleagues with whom I hardly exchange anything but a greeting.

Of course, I had to experience a socially awkward moment when this sweet girl asked me if I "talked to so-and-so lately" (an acquaintance of ours at another school) and I ever so delicately stated, "Oh no! I don't talk to that woman anymore."

Okay, really? Genie? Sometimes you need to just watch what you say! I immediately regretted it. I have very good reasons not to be associating with this person (energy zapper #1) but did I need to open my mouth and blurt all that out when I could have just said, "No," and smiled? Sometimes I just want to kick myself in the butt.

I felt so badly for this poor unsuspecting girl who asked a perfectly normal social question. I immediately remarked how awesome her blouse was. And it was awesome, steering the conversation to safer ground for both of us.

Have you ever experienced this? The foot-in-the-mouth, oh-no-you-didn't moment? Not fun. It's okay to get rid of frienemies but it's better to keep others out of it. I know all this, but there went my mouth!

This would not have happened if I were not so depleted. The little "imp" inside me would not have taken over. Don't get me wrong. That was just one moment. The rest of the evening was filled with laughter and dance and nice conversation. It was that moment that signalled to me loudly and clearly that I needed time out. Time to step away. Two or three days of just letting myself recover from a few months of extreme stress.

The Hermit is the perfect symbol for this. It signals a time of much-needed solitude to reflect, regroup and formulate a vision for the future. The Hermit doesn't feel lonely or isolated. She is comfortable in her own company knowing that she needs this space to regenerate the light she gives to the world, knowing that in order to be of use to others, she needs to be completely at peace with herself. She knows that to operate with the total integrity she has committed herself to, she must be able to solidify all parts of herself that have fragmented from daily contact and interaction with others' energy.

May you find some time of peaceful self-reflection to regenerate your wonderful soul so that you may continue to give the light into the universe and all in it.

Blessed be :)

100th Post!

Woohooo! I made it to my 100th post! I never thought how much starting a blog would change my life, but it did.

It started as a solitary journey, a need to type out my thoughts and let them go into cyberspace. I had this growing desire to let my thoughts wander out of my head onto the web. Most of the time they went unread except by me, but it was alright. In the action was the reason. I wanted to put my voice out there.

There were months I published quite a few posts, and months when I hardly published anything at all.

Then through a series of fortunate events, I came upon Soul Coaching and decided to participate at the last minute. I didn't think I would have time to complete it, but I thought I would give it a try.

And I am glad I did. Going through the exercises taught me a lot about myself and has started me on a journey of awareness like I have not had before.

But more importantly, it allowed me to connect to a world of amazing people whose encouragement, advice, support and friendship have come to mean so much to me. My journey is no longer solitary. I reach out, and others reach back. I have become part of a community of souls that has filled my heart with hope.

Externally, my life has not changed that much. Yet. I live in the same home. I work at the same place. I deal with the same B.S. I am in a leadership position now, which has added to my stress exponentially.

All that is just the peel of the fruit. The juice and pulp have altered. I am transforming.

I have started and will complete my Tarot project which is the child of this journey. It was birthed through this process, and now has a voice of its own. Its own purpose and destiny.

I am identifying the things that fill me and the things that deplete me, and in so doing I am in the process of allocating them according importance and impact in my life.

I am aware of myself, and how I react to others. I am learning to stop blaming myself for others' decisions and actions. I am asserting myself more, not in an effort to control others, but in an effort to have integrity in what I believe in and who I am.

I was taught at a tender and early age to subjugate myself for others. That my feelings, my needs and my goals were not as important as anyone else's. That even in saying that they were, I was being selfish. This made me vulnerable. I was damaged, as person after person came into my life, took what he or she needed, and then left without a backward glance. Each time, I was left with a lower self-worth, half-broken. But I didn't break. I kept on. I tried to make others happy.

Now I know how sadly deluded I was. I cannot make anyone happy. I am not responsible for anyone else's happiness. That is not to say I can go around stomping on people and disregarding their feelings. It does mean however, that they cannot do that to me either.

I don't know if I am relaying how important this last realization is, but it's gigantic. It's liberating.

This is why I have chosen The Star for today's Tarot. It speaks of possibility. Of hope. Of being guided to a better today. This card is about the nourishment of dreaming. The integrity of vision. The belief that one's path is authentic and true. With this card, I am aware of my accomplishments, and of the road ahead. It is filled with light.

May the Star guide your steps to your soul's ease.

Blessed be :)

Seasoning

As the last week of school before the holidays begins, I channel my serenity as much as I can. I will be needing it, as this week is going to be another busy one.

I took the weekend to regenerate and restore my spiritual and emotional balance. I have been experiencing a series of events that threatened to topple me into mental oblivion.

I have been noticing a lot of my friends are feeling the same kind of crunchy pressure. Whenever I talk to someone on the phone, I hear about tension, arguments, hurt feelings, resentment, and anger. It seems as if everyone's blood has been seasoned with concentrated chili juice.

Does this happen every season; or is this some astrological phenomenon that is affecting us? I don't recall this many people telling me they are this overwhelmed.

The strange thing is, we all seem to voluntarily take it on. In more cases than not, we are putting that pressure on our own selves. I know I have, and I am reminding myself to cut back, step away, say "no" politely.

In the next few days, when I will be surrounded by people's wired energy, and school frenzy, I draw on the High Priestess in me. She is serene and intuitive, letting the situation unfold without letting it affect her. She knows that action has reaction and thus lets her steps and words be balanced. She watches the signs and understands them; and in decoding them, she knows the right action to take. The High Priestess draws on the abundant wisdom of the Universe and all the tools she gives us.

We do not have to interact with everything and everyone that comes our way. It is good to stay centered, study their energy, making an informed and intuitive decision about what action to take. Sometimes the best action is inaction. Sometimes, it's best to walk away.

May the High Priestess bathe you in her intuitive wisdom that she gains from the Universe's vast database. May your serenity and purpose be balanced, and your days be fruitful.

Blessed be :)

Profusion

The Hierophant has transmuted to the High Priest in my deck. In my vision, the High Priest does not represent authority, or restraining tradition. He represents the teacher, the healer, the spirit guide. He holds the wisdom of the earth, the profuse tools that provide stability, safety, and guidance. He is welcoming in his embrace, and loving in his advice. He does not judge. He helps the seeker to find her own answers, knowing that she is valued, no matter what.

I woke up early again - 3 am. I worked on this Tarot, read a little bit, had some quiet visualization time, and went back to sleep.

My dreams were filled with my anxieties. I don't remember all of them, but I woke up depleted. Like I traveled many worlds in my sleep.

In this state, I was not ready for the email that was lying in wait. It's tone was slightly hostile and dismissive. My energy went down, and fast.

In the past, this would have ruined my mood all day, having set the tone.

I am different now. Having gone through the Soul Coaching experience with all its amazing participants, I gained some valuable tools.

Instead of allowing this negative energy to spiral me into its grasp, I asked myself a question. "Is this email reflecting where you are at this moment or where the sender is?" The answer was simple.

It was the sender's energy that was spreading gloom over the worldwide web, trying to affect me, consciously or not. That is not something in my control. What is my choice however, is how I allow it to affect me. I could take that energy and allow it to resonate with me, feeding my shadow self who lies dormant and waiting to pounce; or I could let it disperse, unwanted, and unneeded. I adopted a neutral tone in response to the email, and deleted the original. It's not going to sit in my inbox waiting to be read again.

As for my dreams, I know they were just a way for me to work out things that have been bothering me. I went through the ones I remembered, one by one, and asked the same question, over and over. "Why are you worried about this?" Then I would wait for the answer. Every single answer revealed itself simply. With this process, each and every one of my worries dispelled.

AH! Thank you High Priest. :)

Now onto happier things. Beverly gave me the Tree of Happiness Award! (see left sidebar) A lovely honor! Thank you :) If you haven't visited her blog, take some time to do so! It's full of magickal stories. You could even share them with your little ones. :)

Zie Rules:

• Link to the person who gave the award to you. (check - see above)
• Post the rules on your blog. (check)
• List six things that make you happy. (following)
• Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them. (check)
• Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog (check)
• Let the person who awarded you know when your entry is up. (check)

Six things that make me happy: (The hard thing is picking six. They are not in order or importance)

• Spending time with my goddaughter and her mom
• Spending time with my friends (on and offline)
• Playing with Stinky
• Writing
• Art
• Small lights on dark nights

Now to bestow the Tree of Happiness. (Another difficult task as everyone on my blog roll is an amazing person who brings me wisdom and smiles, inspiration and laughter, enlightenment and joy.)

1- Dia whose lovely harp brings joy into the world, as do her words into our souls. :)

2- Ellie whose incredible strength and attitude are a true inspiration for anyone who visits her blog. :)

3- Linda who is the epitome of wonderful, brave, and determined. Her talent is stunning. :)

4- Marilyn who is ever-growing, ever-illuminating, ever-caring. :)

5- Tammie Lee who will get your creative juices flowing, your mind working, and your heart pumping.

6- Paula whose blog gives me joy every time a visit it. I always read her posts with a smile on my face, and she is warmer and sweeter than hot chocolate. :)

Phew!

Blessed be :)

Aerial Acrobatics

Don't you hate it when your mind just says, "Wake up!" and you look at the time and it's 4 am? And you don't need to roll out of bed for another two hours?

Too much on my mind, maybe? Taken on a wee bit too much, perhaps? Allowing little things to take over my mental state, possibly?

I have always had the need to solve problems. Roll up my sleeves and get things done. I'm not one to whine and complain and then go about and finish my sandwich. I need to get things resolved.

Problems arise when I have to count on others to help. That's when it gets sticky. Not everyone is like me.

"That's a great idea they say", while munching on their sandwich, "but I can't do it. You should do it, and I will sit here eating my lunch, pretending I have helped."

"How about... hell no! How about, you're not involved and therefore you have no say in the outcome," I want to say, but grit my teeth instead.

I obviously need to vent. I am a venter. When things, really people, get to me, I allow my feelings to bubble to the surface (in a controlled environment, of course). Once I'm done, I feel better, and no one is hurt. But there are times I so sorely want to put that person in his/her place with my sharp tongue. It's a registered weapon. That's why I keep it under wraps as much as I can.

I know I should be more understanding of people who are not like me. I realize this. I know it can be a form of intolerance. But do we have to tolerate all behaviour, no matter what? Do we? Really? I can't bitch slap anyone with a few choice words? Why must I always be taking the higher ground? Being the better woman? Practicing acceptance, while missing my lunch, when others can sit there placidly and do nothing? Why even ask why?

It's my fault really. It's a form of arrogance to think I can solve all the problems that come my way. I am not that far gone though, not to seek help, but sometimes help is just not there. Sometimes, I cannot rely on people. Actually, it has been my experience that I cannot rely on people most of the time. It took me forever to even start asking for help. I had learned to not even bother. But being in a leadership position, I am inundated with responsibilities and chores and paperwork on top of my teaching duties. My plate is so full it's cracking. I need to ask for help.

Why am I taking so much on? I see a need, I try to fill it. This club needs an advisor. I'll do it. The school needs to build spirit. I'll help. The dance needs chaperons. I'll volunteer.

"Hello? Genie? You're not ubiquitous. You can't do it all!" The voice in my head whispers. Hell, now it's yelling at me. I can't fault it for getting upset. I need to stop.

But I know if I do, there will be no one to step up in my place. People just don't care. Too many teachers think the job is 8:30- 3:30, teach the classes (sometimes horrifically), do some marking and go home. Okay, that is the biggest part of the job, but the school is a community, and communities that are made up of apathetic and self-centered people, collapse. The students, some of which who have also been raised to be apathetic and self-centered, need better role models.

I suppose you are wondering what the hell I am venting about. :)

Well... (insert deep breath)

I am swamped.

• As you know, some of us have taken on the cause of putting this administration on the right path. Lots of work, stress and effort involved.
• I have about 20 things to do each day, over and above preparing creative lessons, teaching, leading, inspiring students. Timetables to sort, exams to vet, interviews to conduct, grievances to smooth over, reassurances to give, meetings, meetings, meetings.
• I have taken on a very important and needed club for our school, one that has never existed - The Black Culture club.
• I have tried to revive school spirit by spearheading a morning radio show run by students, guided by me.
• I have rewritten and helped choreograph a remix of a song for our department to perform this Friday at the yule assembly. We have had no rehearsals except with Emily (my goddess-send)
  
• I volunteered to be at the charity basketball game.
• I volunteered to chaperon the semi-formal.
• I have unmarked papers up the wazoo. They can populate a small forest.
• I have two classes of students blogs to read.
• I am slowly going crazy.

(Insert another deep breath here)

Time is running out, and we need to rehearse the song. I asked if we could get together on Sunday to do the major rehearsal for a couple of hours in the afternoon. Some said they could make it, a few others made some excuses as to why they couldn't. What they really meant was they don't want to. I wanted to roar.

I need to be fair to myself.

I have taken on too much. I feel like an acrobat swinging without a net, and I am solely responsible for putting myself in this position. I care too damn much about the students, and their high school experience. I should just go to work, put in my time, and collect my paycheck. Right?

Nope. I'm not like that.

This why I chose to redesign the traditional "hanged man" for today's Tarot. It's called, "Acrobat". A death defying act of fearlessness. See the calm look on his face? It is a card of giving, but also one of personal peril. The secret is in the balance. In the training. In the attitude. I am a novice aerialist, and I have much to learn. But my heart is in the right place, even if my feet are dangling many meters above safe ground. I need to fashion myself a safety net...

May your safety nets be strong. May your support system weather any circumstance. May you perform death-defying acts safely. May you find the balance necessary to navigate through life's challenges.

Blessed be :)

Good Karma

Yesterday, one of my colleagues told me that I was bringing the department good karma. I really don't know if there could ever be a nicer thing anyone could say to me.

This came on the heels of all-day interviews to fill one of the five positions that will be opening up in our department. Four are maternity leaves and this one was a medical (stress) leave. We had four outstanding candidates and one mediocre one.

As this was my first time in the interviewer's role, I let myself listen with my ears, process with my mind, and decide with my instinct. I used the tool we learned at Soul Coaching. Sorting the candidates into zappers (of energy) and juicers. Strangely enough, both the principal and the vice principal who were also in the meeting, agreed with my choices. We selected the candidate who not only knew his stuff, gave the best answers but had positive energy flowing out of him like a mighty waterfall.

The process exhausted me though. Who would have thought that sitting around all day, asking questions, listening to answers, and writing notes would drain me?

At the end of it all, I realized that this was the most significant decision I have made as head of the department. I was responsible for giving someone a job and for bringing him into our environment. The very molecules will change in the atmosphere with this new person. He is like a high powered blender of enthusiasm and dedication, and might help invigorate those who are wilting in the vegetable drawer. I know the students will love him like a saviour as they have been suffering these past few months with acute incompetence running their classes.

At the end of the day, Emily and I came here, had dinner and practiced our remix of the song "Dangerous" which we will be performing with six other teachers at the Holiday assembly next week. The song is stuck in my head! :)

No wonder I was pooped by the end of the day and went to bed as soon as the "adult" in my head said it was a decent time to. :)

To top off all this amazingness, I was tagged by two awesome bloggers: Tori , and Muse ! I am so honored! :) Thank you so much ladies. :)

Tori passed along the five-a-day meme that Jamie gave to her :) Tori is an amazing young goddess. I wish I had her insight when I was her age. :)

Here are the 5 things I do everyday to keep mentally whole.

1- Blog/journal: I used to use a journal exclusively, but my blog suited me better. It has become my daily reflection in the morning which focuses my thoughts and creativity. It is interactive, as the many wonderful commentators give generously of their support, inspiration, and humanity.

2- Coffee: My morning coffee is essential to me. It fuels me, and in an odd way centers me. You could call it an addiction, but I call it a simple pleasure, that I very much enjoy. Thank the Universe for the coffee and the cocoa beans. :)

3- Gym: I do not go to the gym every day, but I honor this practice as a lifetime commitment, and if I miss a day or two, or even a week, I do not beat myself up over it. (This is a HUGE accomplishment!) When I go to the gym, I feel energized and armed. I am starting to feel my body changing, albeit slowly. :)

4-Creativity: Whether it is writing, or creating graphics, or doodling in the margins during meetings, allowing my creativity daily expression, feeds my soul and imagination.

5-Kids: I am blessed to have daily contact with either my students, or my friends children, or my lovely goddaughter. They are my fountain of youth, my reality check, my constant source of inspiration and joy.

* I will be tagging meme recipients later :)

Muse has given me The Butterfly Award (see left sidebar). Her blog is outstanding and provides with me with so much glee and inspiration. She is a muse afterall :)

Here are the rules:

• Put the logo on my blog.(left sidebar)
  
• Add a link to the person who awarded me. (see above)
• Nominate outstanding blogs that I follow. (To spare you from 40 links, I will have to pare it down... Oy.)
  
• Add links to those blogs. (See below.)
• Leave a message to those nominees on their blog.

These are my choices:
1- Judi : If you want a whole new perspective on life. If you want to see a superhero in the making. If you need to belly laugh, visit her blog. In fact, just visit her blog :)

2- Mother Henna : If it's a step-by-step art project, or an enlightening perspective into the world, or a project that will make your heART sing, visit her blog, and be enchanted!

3- Her Speak : This blog is the very treasure of soulful art, of enchanting poetry, of ageless life. It has become my fountain of inspiration!

4- Kate I : Her photography speaks to the soul, makes your fingers tingle and your soul say AH!

5- Kristen : Her tender journey of self-discovery and bravery will touch your soul and make your heart sing. Her blog blooms with inspiration.

6- See all the wonderful blogs in the left sidebar. Each and every one of them deserve an award, as they are the Fountain of Life. Inspirational in every way. I heart them all :)

Phew! Wasn't this an epic post? I don't have time to even do my morning round of blog reading! I will have to save this delicious practice for tonight!

In closing, today, I made Reincarnation. This is the Tarot card traditionally known as "death". That simply won't do. It is a medieval mode of oppression used to torture souls into submission. There is no death, just a portal to a new being. Whether you believe in reincarnation or not, it matters not. It's not the philosophy this card embodies but the faith that we are everchanging, evergrowing, everperfecting beings whose souls are indestructible :)

Blessed be :)

Pockets of Air

Today, I woke up with this in my head:

"You have to believe in something."
"I believe in myself."

My eyes popped open. I don't know if it was those words, or the fact that Stinky was meowing bloody murder for food, but I woke up.

In more ways than one.

I have carried a balloon of sadness with me for a long time. Longer than I can remember. Over the years, that balloon filled up, and brimmed, emptied, and filled again.

I have walked in the shadow of my failure, head down, eyes brimming. Defeat put her arms around me many times, as I trudged through life, feeling bereaved.

But I have another balloon. In this balloon, there is hope. Many times this balloon has filled up, overflowed, emptied, and refilled with its glow.

I have walked with my Guide, on streets filled with glowing snow, reflecting Christmas lights. We have strolled on warm pavements shimmering under the moon. He has put his arm around my shoulder, or my waist, holding me close, as I walked through life, feeling nurtured.

Today, I wake up knowing that those balloons and those figures are both a part of me. Part of who I am, and I accept them, but I am not them. I wake up to a new balance, I have never had before. I awake with a new assurance I have rarely, if ever experienced.

I am more than the sum of my experiences, more than the residue of my emotions, more than the creation of my thoughts. I am me, and I do believe in myself. This is why I designed the Two Balloons today. It depicts the balancing act we all have to achieve in life. It can get burdensome sometimes. At times, we want to lay down and give up. At others, we run ahead, our hair blowing in the wind, the balloons streaming behind us.

But always we are at the center. Whole, unaffected by the weather, observing, learning, growing.

Yesterday, I experienced a frustration, singular in its intensity and unique in its situation. We had a meeting with all the heads of department and the administration. Person after person, stubbornly refusing to move forward, to affect change, to look beyond the edge of their self-interest. Caged criticism, negative interpretation, self-aggrandizement, the need to control. At one point in the meeting, I actually said I felt like a salmon swimming upstream. Most heads jumped on board any lame proposal without thought, without discussion, nodding heads, lips puckered. I just could not keep silent. I had questions. I had issues. I had alternatives. The principal watched me like a hawk. I saw her. I felt like taking the little tangerines on the table and smacking them off their heads like ping pong balls.

I didn't do that.

When the meeting was over, I started to do that thing I always do. Self-deprecation. Self-defeat. Self-derision.

Then my real voice asked a simple question, "Why do you feel this way? What happened at the meeting that causes you to viciously attack yourself?"

I stopped, in shocked silence. Indeed, "WHY?"

I asked the questions few have the balls (pardon my slang) to ask, made the points few would even consider making, went against the "I am a good soldier, yes Mein Commandant, I will bend over even lower, whip me more" attitude.

These are the questions I asked, "How do you expect the staff to do that? Aren't you in effect asking for six new courses (that will be populated by an average of 4 students) for your department, when I had to sweat to get one.? You are asking us to take ten minutes every class to check agendas, on top of uniform, on top of everything else you want us to do? When are we to teach reading and writing?"

You get the gist of the stupidity I had to endure. The issue is, I did not fail myself, nor the people I was sent there to represent. Did I make myself a target? Most certainly. Did I make myself unpopular amongst most of my peers. Most definitely. Do I give a damn? Well no. Should it affect the way I feel, enough to fill the balloon with the sadness, and allow my shadow self to cackle in glee of my defeat? Hell, no.

Today, I will walk with the two balloons. They are perfectly balanced. I know the sorrow that can bring a tear to my eye. I know the hope that can put a spring in my step. I accept them. They belong to me. But they are not me. I am the one in the center, holding them, with a smile on my face.

I hope that your steps are steady and light, and that the balloons you balance float, buoying you, not burdening you.

Blessed be :)

Whoop

So I woke up this morning with a headache and my shadow self serenading me with negativity.

What the bullocks?

I made myself a coffee, grumbling. What is this? Where did it come from? I had a spectacular day and night yesterday, why in the world would my shadow self surface?

It was singing it's old tired tune. "You're alone. You have no family. The holidays are coming. Your friends are full of spectacular plans filled with trips and family gatherings. You will be alone."

The headache still pounding the top of my head, I made myself a coffee and sat to visit my loving blog.

I read the wonderful comments in yesterday's post. A smile started to edge on my lips. The pounding eased a bit. Then I did my first round of visits to my community of blogs. I read about enchanted lands, reiki blessings, colorful stockings, meme projects, fruitful studio time, coloring like children, encouraging advent calendars, selfless giving. My smile widened. The pounding stopped.

I am so blessed to have found this online community of wonderful people. I call it the Fountain of Life. I swim in it every day. It is healing, inspiring and affirming.

I don't have a family per se. So what? I will be spending time with my soul family and my goddaughter. I have my wonderful soul companion, Stinky, who shows me love and curls up with me as I read or watch TV or rest, purring his little song.

I don't have money to travel. So what? I have a roof over my head, a warm bed and books with many realms, a big screen TV with a world of movies.

My shadow self skulked away, defeated and silent. Why don't you go away already? Permanently. Who needs you?

Now onto my wonderful day yesterday! It was a Professional Development Day, and so no classes. I arranged the morning for members of my department who chose to participate, to go book browsing and shopping and then to meet for lunch and discuss our findings.

A few of us met in the morning and went for nice warm coffee and almond croissants and chatted. Then we split up and went to various book stores of our choice. Emily and I went to Book City and I bought NINE books. It's inevitable. Me + bookstore = Spree. I will have a lot of blessed down time in two weeks so I can wrap up myself in my warm covers and explore delicious worlds. I gave Emily a book she has been dying to read. YAY!

Then we went to Future Bakery to meet up with everyone and chill out. We ate and shared books, and stories and felt our spines relax. The most civilized P.D. I have had in a long time. :)

Then in the afternoon, we went to Central Tech where I was leading a workshop on using blogs for classroom purposes. Renata assisted me and co-lead the workshop. It was fun! We got everyone set up with a blog and connected to ours so we can help them along the way. The feedback we got was all positive (they filled out anonymous forms). One person said it was the best P.D. she/he had been to. YAY!

Then I went with Renata and her wonderful family to a pub nearby with other teachers from Central Tech. I loved the place - Harbord House. It was warm and cozy inside with bay windows, lots of lights and ornaments, and a big decorated tree upstairs. Oh and the food! YUM! I had potato crusted salmon with basmati herbed rice and asparagus. Drool! :)

Oh! And there were the beautiful toddlers filling the room with life and energy! My heart was brimming.

The people were all warm, friendly, fun and interesting, so I stayed a while longer after my friends (Renata, Jeff, Sabi and Zoë) went home.

Then I rushed home to feed my Stinker and get ready to go out with Danette and Colin to see a friend of ours perform. We went to the coldest bar in down. I mean BRRR! But. Ellie was angelic. When she was singing with her beautiful, light-filled voice, I closed my eyes and traveled to a splendid world of color and movement. She is truly magical.

A gift of a day, was it not? It cannot get any more perfect. :) This is why I chose to make the Three of Cups for today. It encapulates the spirit of fun and rejoicing.

I hope your days are full and perfect with much rejoicing. I look forward to reading your stories. They nurture me and fill me with hope. Thank you so much for being in my life, even if it is through the world wide web! :)

Blessed be!

Child's Voice

Last night, we had our department Christmas gathering. We got together at one of our colleague's home. This year, for a present, we decided to share recipes and put them all together in our own recipe book. YUM!

The party was fun and filled with good food and children's laughter. We are blessed in our department with six beautiful children who are all under the age of 4, with 3 more on the way!

I really like my colleagues and the food was most delicious, but the children stole the show.

They are so beautiful, and smart, and alive. I see the promise of the future in their eyes. They engender laughter in your heart. They are infinite possibility. They are unconditional love and trust. They are walking, crawling, pooping, squealing, laughing, crying, awesome little miracles.

They are the true spirit of Christmas.

Like many, I am feeling out of sorts about this season. I will be spending some time with my adopted families, but I want to do something different this year. Instead of buying the children and adults in my life more presents that they can live without, I am gathering that money and making a donation either to the Children's Hospital or to a Homeless Children's Center.

This year, I will ask my goddaughter for one gift- to accompany me to a homeless shelter and volunteer.

This year, I want to collect a group of us and go caroling. I have never done that in my life, and it would be such a wonderful way to spread joy. Yes, even with my voice! :)

I want to show love with generosity of a different kind. I want to revive the spirit in Christmas. Sony and Nintendo, Mattel and Disney, The Gap and People's Jewelers will have to do without my contribution to their wealth this year.

This year I want to pay the human soul.

Standing Proud

This picture, to me, epitomizes hope and achievement. These are the finalists of So You Think You Can Dance-Canada. I have always loved dance- watching and experiencing it. I am fully aware that, if my life had taken a different course, I would have been a dancer. This is one reason I celebrate this show.

Another major reason is, it reinforces pride in being Canadian. Unfortunately, I don't see a lot of pride fostered for our country. We practically have to force students to stand quiet during the National Anthem at school. When confronted, at least half will say, very ignorantly, "It's not my country." (And this almost always said by someone born here.) I always reply, "I don't care which country you call your own. You stand at attention and respect for any country's National Anthem, much less the one that at the very least provides you with a free education!" Grrr @ ignorance!

Canadian sports and athletes are well supported by the general public, but most Canadian television shows, arts and movies are not. They snub their noses at them, like they are inferior to those of our neighbours south.

This show, has engendered a following and pride in being Canadian that few others have. We Canucks like to make fun of ourselves, but rarely do I hear anyone say "I am proud to be Canadian!" I have heard it on this show many times.

It also highlights the incredible versatility and talent in our country. Niko is a contemporary dancer; Miles is a popper; Allie is a ballerina; and Natalli is a Latin dancer. They represent the vast flavour and potential of this country that is so often unsung. So, I had to take a minute and say... YAY CANADA! :)

Now, for today's card.

So far, I have been designing the cards with "positive" meanings. Then, like a lightning bolt, realization came. All the cards are positive. With happiness we are rewarded, with challenge we learn. There is nothing negative here. So, when the, up to now, dreaded Tower card asked to be introduced, I experienced a twinge of trepidation. The card's images gently wiped all that away.

In upheaval, new ideas arise. In sorrow, humanity is expressed. From the rubble, new ideas are born. There is always someone to catch our fall. There is always a hand to steady us. Support will rally. New beginnings will unfold. A new dawn opens up, as we soar away from our troubles.

And here it is - The Tower. Today's card.

In relevance to my life, the meeting with all the staff went incredibly well. Attendance was historic for that school. The audience was rapt. I might even venture to say, we impressed them.

The avalanche is beginning. We are usurping those who sit secure in their tower, oppressing us.

In the ensuing upheaval, a new, more benevolent rule will arise. Peace will come upon the land, and we will be free to go about the business that we are there to do - inspiring, educating, leading, and helping shape our country's and the world's future. Allowing young minds to form their own opinions, strengthened by knowledge, empowered by their own creativity, cognizant of the infinite potential that they own.

Blessed be :)

December Whirl

I awake this morning slightly groggy and hung over. Strange, I had nothing to drink... Maybe it's the weather or maybe because it's my first day without Soul Coaching, I am feeling tired.

But how can I be when this is the first thing I see when I open my eyes in the morning? ---------->

This is my Stinky. My little companion and reality check. This photo was taken by my god daughter. Isn't he so cute? :)

Oh and it's December now!

I have meetings this week up the wazoo. I am running a blogging workshop for Professional Development this Friday. I have a lot of work coming my way before the two week break!

So much to do this month. Such a whirlwind of activity and plans. Birthday parties, holiday gatherings, making gifts (I decided this year will be a craft year), decorating my home (it's been a few Christmases that I hadn't bothered to decorate my tree), get-togethers with friends. Whirl whirl!

In this festive bustle, I have made a few appointments with myself.

Yesterday when I was decluttering and reorganizing my closet, I found a box from my move that I had stowed away. (I moved two years ago!) I found a paraffin facial bath that I had bought eons ago. Guess who's going to be using it? Can you say Spa Night? :)

I am making an appointment to see a Naturopath in two weeks and an acupuncturist this Saturday.

During the holidays, I will be resting a lot because I need it badly. I have scheduled empty days of recharging, but I will also be finishing the last 4 chapters of a novel I started in the Ice Age. They are all mapped out, all I need to do is fill in the blanks. That is one thing I need to square away. Check. Done. Move on. Pass it along. Make it someone else's "To Do" Item. :)

I feel different. Stronger, more serene, not prone to drowning in the dark cloud that I allowed to hang over me.

I know this week will have its challenges, and adventures.

I am getting together tomorrow night with my friend and partner in crime Renata, to plan out next semester for our department.

I am part of the union executive at our school and we will be having a very important meeting this Wednesday. It will define the staff as victors or victims. We are taking action to document all the examples of harassment and abuse, and present it to our union leader. Take THAT! :)

Thursday night is our Department Holiday social so I will be baking spanakopita on Wednesday night while watching the finale of So You Think You Can Dance- Canada. Yum! My recipe strays a little from the traditional one. I add sun-dried tomatoes and olives to my filling... Drool? :)

No wonder I woke up tired! Haha!

But one thing I know for sure. I will be enjoying every minute of it. Even if it is very challenging and frustrating. I will allow the stress and upset if it comes my way to roll off my back. I will smile in the face of adversity.

That is what Soul Coaching has taught me. I found my equilibrium and I will allow nothing to take it away. Unless it's the man of my dreams, and then I will allow myself some swooning. Wink! :)

I hope you are all well and embarking on amazing new journeys!

Blessed be! :)

Love Eternal

The circle of love is warm arms
that embraces us
There is no beginning
no end
A cycle of light radiating out from within,
beaming in from without.
The circle of love is a haven of safety
to be who we are
as we are
no questions asked
No expectations to be met
We are
A spiral of air filling our lungs
in
and out
The circle of love is a tender kiss
soul to soul
Sharing a heart
beating eternally
vibrating strong
feeling the stars' fire
The circle of love is clasped hands
A wall of support
keeping danger at bay
dissolving insecurity
palm to palm united
Feet planted firmly in the ground of our choosing
We do not stand alone.
Never
Alone
Because we are
in the circle of love.

As we reach this the final day of Soul Coaching, I feel the memories grow in my heart, strengthening it, making my steps surer, my gaze clearer, my smile brighter, my soul more serene.

These are the memories that will fuel me into the next turn of our journey spiraling into a fresh circle in the sunny beach of life. We walk tall, our shadows casting their greatness, no longer dark presences but silhouettes of our powerful projections. Our guides are smiling as they congregate to share a cup of tea and discuss their charges affectionately. We are connected now, and nothing can change that. We are a circle of love.

These are the memories that have become part of my life's collage:

• Allison's hoop and her smiling in it, joyful in her quest for boots
• Aurora's warm creations of wool that warm us like her words
• Beautiful Witch's magick that restores our faith in ourselves
  
• Boho's and her hatchling's new Queendom unfolding, comfortable and loving
• Breedale's strength and her blossoming motherhood that adopts the world
• Caroline's light and guidance, her spirit light that fills the world with zen magic
• Claudia's collages that fill the eye and by extension the heart with beautiful wisdom
• Danette's sheer power of creative will and intent, her budding into the mermaid she is, and the incredible honor of calling her my friend.
• Dawn's amazing sense of self, yoga splendidnesss and detoxification mundra
• Dia's unwavering wisdom and delightful harp that brings music into the soul
• Ellie's superhuman strength and loving heart, her incredibly powerful message
• Fatma's sparkling tips and rejuvenating wisdom
• Gemma's ageless beauty and wild boundless heart
• Judi's beacon of amazing humour, brilliant honesty and heartfelt dedication
• Kara's delicate and magical hennas, inspired color and drive.
  
• Kate's lens that spreads love and humanity, light- ly.
  
• Kelly's perseverance and bright unfolding
• Leah's paintings so full of beauty that color the palette of our inspiration
• Linda's powerful iconic art, whose images enrapture the imagination
  
• Lillian's majestic tree of support and gentle guidance.
• Lisa's boundless enthusiasm and words of encouragement like jewels in a necklace (circle)
• Marilyn's alter of indomitable power and light, her brilliant manifestation
• Megg's invitation to renew ties with girlhood and her gentle yet powerful creative force
• Melba's incredible journal so filled with heart and color
• Molly's explosion of creativity that captivates the imagination, expanding it
  
• Nicole's generous readings and the incredible spectrum of her wisdom
• Nydia's tender moments and budding growth
  
• Paula's cheerful and loving home and smiling faces filling it
• Pen's heartfelt journey and undeniably honest strength
• Peppy Lady's ceaseless urn of coffee and wisdom
• Robyn's garden and her stepping into the shoes of garden goddess, ever nurturing
• Romana's passionate integrity and dedication to humanity
• Sandra's wild green love that embraces the whole world
• Serena's mandalas that encircle our souls and words that feed our spirits with love
• Shannan's stunning visuals and uplifting words
• Shannon's drive and vision that cuts to the very quick of darkness and reveals a unique light
• Sherrie's bursts of color that light her manifold perspective, enriching ours
• Suzie's priceless wisdom, fearless growth, and tender heart more powerful than diamonds
• Tabby's powerhouse of light, strength, and loving support
• Thien-Kim's unwavering devotion and love-filled recipes
• Tori's spectacular unfolding into the woman she is and the woman she will be - a growing light
• Turtleheart's brave honesty and powerful message of survival.

These are just a few of the women who have quickened my life, my heart, my mind, my soul on this incredible journey. If I have not mentioned you, it is not because you are not priceless to me, it is because my brain cannot process everything. Each and every one of you is a shining star in the firmament of our collective soul, an irreplaceable link in our circle of love. This is not goodbye. This is, where next?

Which leaves me with one more person. Last and never least.

Jamie.

To say thank you is like giving a stick of gum to someone who has just saved you from the jaws of death. It simply is not enough. Because of you, (and yes Denise Linn) the world is brighter, filled with color and the possibility of boundless creation. You have shepherded us into the path of our fullest potential. Your vision of the future is here. You have touched and inspired not only each and every one of us in this journey, but everyone we encounter, and they encounter... ever-expanding the beautiful circle of love that you inspired. From my deepest self - I thank you. :)

Blessed be :)