Fat Chance

No one wants to be fat. Not really. Some people have the confidence to own it and still be fabulous, but most of us struggle. How can we not? We are constantly bombarded with the notion that obesity can kill, that being overweight reduces the quality of life, that fat people aren't aesthetically pleasing or sexy. In a world of size 0, size 14 and up have no chance.

It's not just the images that bombard us on magazine covers and television. It's not the fact that a fat person either is the "funny" one or the one who is publicly ridiculed and mocked. It's the fact that any celebrity, usually a woman, who is a size 12 or up, who could be a role model for an alternate body image, who has the ability to create a more balanced aesthetic, has jumped ship. They sponsor a weight loss program and shout to the world how great it is. Let's ignore the fact that they have a team of chefs, personal trainers, and plastic surgeons on staff. Let's ignore that they have the time, money and luxury to reinvent themselves. Just look how fantastic they look now that they're "normal". And the not so sub text? You can be normal too, not a pathetic, unattractive, FAT loser. Cha ching.

Fat is the new leprosy.

I sometimes see that horrified look in people's eyes. "How can you do that to yourself?" their disgusted ogle states. "Stop eating so much. (They haven't seen me put a morsel of food in my mouth.) Did you eat a small starving nation to get like that?"

Fat jokes abound. There are even terms for fat chicks who go out with their better looking (read: thinner) friends. She's called a "grenade". Absolutely lovely. That pretty much ensures that women above a certain weight would need Herculean bravery to go out. They don't want to anyway. No. They want to stay home, alone, eating creme puffs and watching TV. Or. They can always try those big and beautiful sites trolled by men who like big women. Fat has become a fetish.

"So, if you hate it so much;" asks the person who has never struggled with the esteem-destroying condition, "why don't you just lose weight? Stop eating. Get on a treadmill."

The sympathy abounds. People with anorexia get concern. People who are fat get contempt.

Here's the thing, the issue isn't food. Food contributes to the problem, but it's just a symptom. Sure, this can be rectified with a decreased intake of calories and an increased expenditure of the same. It's not rocket science. The problem goes beyond the surface that everyone is so occupied with. It's psychological.

When I lost 100 pounds, I didn't' change my diet at all. My attitude towards food changed. It became a means to an end - satiating hunger - not an end in itself. I enjoyed my meals, just as I enjoy a cool glass of water when I'm thirsty. I also walked about 20 minutes to and from work. That's it. No diet plan. No gym membership. No supplements or teas or other gimmicks. I was living life as unfettered from emotional trauma as I have ever had.  It was the first time in my life, I felt like me. And the true me emerged.

What caused me to gain weight again, was new emotional trauma; but I'll get to that in another post.

The vital juncture in one's life to having and maintaining a "healthy body weight" is early on. If a child gains too much weight at a crucial time in her life, during or just before the onset of puberty, that equates to an increase in fat cells. You can reduce the size of fat cells, but you can't get rid of them. So, the struggle to keep those damn, rotund jailers at bay becomes a lifetime struggle.

It's vitally important for parents to make sure that their children and tweens learn a balanced attitude toward food and physical activity. I'm not advocating to go all commando parent and restrict everything. I'm talking about a balance between healthy eating and the occasional treat, a line between sedentary activities and ones that require physical movement.

Teaching a child to love themselves is one of the most important things a parent can give her.

The problem often lies with the fact that the adults in obese children's lives also have an unbalanced attitude toward food. It's highly likely that a child of obese parents will in turn become obese. Once the child becomes obese, even in a nation where obesity is the rule not the exception, the psychological trauma begins. The name calling. The ugly clothing. The being singled out. The false assumptions. If you add any kind of psychological, physical or sexual abuse to the mix, then it becomes a catastrophic condition.

It would be nice if we lived in a world that celebrated all sizes. It would be nice if the medical profession hadn't sold out so completely to the pharmaceutical. It would be great if profits weren't attached to people's physical or psychological well being. It would be nice if everyone had a beautiful home and their needs met. That's a fantasy. The reality of the situation is far from it.

What I would settle for, is maybe being allowed to exist without being judged within an inch of my life as I struggle with the issues that have smothered me in layers. But I know, there's a fat chance of that happening.