Eternal Spring

A lot of thought goes into understanding what brings happiness and contentment, how to survive depression, what one's place in the grand scheme of things is. If there is such a thing as a grand scheme.

We are constantly bombarded with images of the perfect relationship, the perfect family, the perfect home, the perfect career. The fictional story line has a definite, and often predictable, beginning, middle and end. There's a reason most stories don't narrate long periods of time in front of the TV, or deciding what to make for dinner, or just sitting and staring out the window. Where's the pathos in making a cup of tea and drinking it?

Our story's climax or turning point doesn't come within a two hour allocation. There is no hot soundtrack to accompany our every realization and encounter. And sometimes, when a turning point does come, it can go unnoticed until years later.

So what's the answer? Living life according to some nebulous preconception or coming to terms with a life that can often be riddled with mind-numbing routine and exhaustion? Well, I say there's a third choice. Somewhere in the crawl space between expectation and actuality, there's balance. We need dreams. They serve a very real function. There's nothing wrong with wanting it all and loving exactly what we have. Dreams are the fuel of action. As long as there is action. Sitting in a room dreaming can be fun, but it's not very practical if that's all it is. Idle speculation is a pretty but not very productive pastime.

There are times that I am overwhelmed with the day-to-day. Moments that I feel like I haven't achieved anything; my life hasn't followed the path that I would have liked it to. And in those moments, the bold face of change pops up and beckons me. "It's up to you to make a life that you want. It won't arrive gift wrapped at your door."

I nod at its wisdom, but making changes can be scary. Petrifying in fact.

I admire those who can reinvent themselves and their lives. Is it so difficult to do? After all, I have always been told that where there's a will, there's a way.

I see myself on a beach, healthy and smiling. I see myself spending my days creating in the company of others who love to create, unfettered by institutions, their timetables and agendas. But is this a romantic notion or a real possibility? Can I shed the extreme temperatures of cold and hot, exchanging it for what I know I love best. Temperate weather. Can I live in eternal spring?