You've Got the Guns But Not the Ammo

Okay, confession time. I watched the Season 11 Premiere of Dancing with the Stars. I wanted to see the line-up...

And an interesting one at that...

In sports, we had NFL quarterback, Kurt Warner and Los Angeles Laker alum Rick Fox towering over their partners, as they did their best not to trample the women and take some slats off the hardwood floor. In this match, Warner won by a slight margin. Their dancing was shrek, but they both had a certain charisma.

In politics, Bristol Palin took over her mother's love of the public eye, when she made her appearance on the dance floor to do a fairly decent cha-cha transformation from business attire to tassels.. What surprised me is that I actually liked the girl's spunk. I'll try not to hold her progenitor against her.

In breaking news, Michael Bolton and David Hasselhoff did their best to rep men in showbiz but seemed to have picked up planks for legs to support their two left feet; and nearly broke their partners. They made Kurt  and Rick look like ballroom pros.

Audrina Partridge from The Hills, Brandy, and Kyle Massey, a child star that hasn't been in the public eye since, lead the pack of B-List celebs who did a pretty decent job dancing. I can't comment on anything else they did because I'm not a fan. Of the three, I liked Massey's energy the best; Audrina surprised me the most, and Brandy dove headlong into the competition like it would save her career.

The once Carol Brady, Florence Herderson wowed me with the amount of F Bombs she dropped! Gotta respect a 76 year old with a potty mouth and great legs. Nuff said! :)

In comedy, Margaret Cho did her interpretation of the Crazy Madam Butterfly Waltz. I found it hilarious and  unexpectedly graceful. The judges were not amused that they turned such a serious dance into a comedy act. I guess they don't realize this show isn't about saving orphans in a battered country.

But whatever.

Speaking of comedy, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino from Jerkey Shore was one of the contestants. He only had 5 days to rehearse because he had to wrap up this season of drinking, dissing women, and running off his mouth. That didn't stop his performance from being the highlight of the night for me. Not because of his dancing, but because of the judges' comments which I usually fast forward through. When, he tried to be smart with the lead judge, Len Goodman countered, "You've got the guns but not the ammo." I love you Len. Yes I do!

The winner of the evening's scoring was Jennifer "Baby" Grey who doesn't in the least resemble the awkward girl from Dirty Dancing because of the work done on her nose. She broke down during rehearsals when they heard that the song they would be dancing to was the one she danced with Patrick Swayze.  This didn't stop her from pulling off a charming performance, proving that nobody will be putting her in the corner.

Will I be watching again? Truthfully, it's kind of painful watching how awkward a lot of them are on the dance floor, but if Len keeps those lines coming, I might have to skip the dancing and watch what he has to say.