Jerkey Shore

So, how pathetic is it that I'm actually excited my shows are premiering this week? After spending the entire summer transcribing Big Brother feeds, I am aching for some good ole drama, some comedy. Something not real. Something that admits to being scripted.

Oh, I still have my reality and competition shows.

I'm an avid So You Think You Can Dance fan, making sure to catch both the American and Canadian versions. Watching the dancers evolve through some of the stunning choreography throughout the season is exciting. Some of the judges I can do without, but they aren't enough to deter me from watching. Whoever invented the PVR is my hero. Skip.

I watched a season of Kitchen Nightmares only because I mostly like to finish what I've started; but there is altogether way more yelling and abuse than cooking. So I won't be a return customer. Master Chef is supposed to be a much nicer version. so maybe I'll catch it if it returns.

The Top Model shows are great for a laugh, but altogether too irritating to sit through. They should rename it Catty Stick Figures with IQs of Bananas. Meow. That was petty catty of me. Maybe I watched one too many episodes. I have to admit it was like watching a science experiment unfold. How will she make it through this Look See or photoshoot intact? I mean it's so trying being young and thin and interesting-looking.

Survivor and Amazing Race are absolutely fascinating to watch. The challenges are astounding. The human drama piecemeal unlike BB. Outwit, outlast, outplay. Yes please!

I watched one season of Dancing with the Stars, though ballroom dancing is meh to me. I saw it through, but it was irritating that they had a professional dancer and skater amongst celebrities with two and sometimes more left feet. Guess who won? Is the suspense killing you... not so much?

I've tried all the versions of Bachelor/ette/Pad and stopped because it was tainting the whole concept of love and relationships.

I'm still a fan of The Apprentice. I love the challenges and seeing how well I would do in them. I love watching corporate type peeps getting all Jersey Shore on each other.

Which brings me to Jersey Shore. A couple of my colleagues were talking about how great it is, so I set my PVR and recorded an episode to watch.

Seriously?

First of all, there's something intrinsically weird when they need English subtitles for people speaking "English". Granade.

Secondly, if I wanted to watch spoiled men in wife beaters treating women like room service personnel, I would've stayed married. "I treat some women very well," chimes one Jerkey Shorite. Some women? Some?

Thirdly, I thought those hair styles went out in the 90's or is it 80's?

I cannot believe that a bunch of yo-yos who have nothing better to do than party, eat, shop, boink and complain have become famous. Seriously? I'd rather watch Chef Ramsay's face get steaming raw while screaming at some cowering sous chef...