Soul Companions

The above represents to me the deepest part of love and life. The dance of souls connecting freely and unbound by earthly considerations. I call it ballet. (click on it to see it larger)

I would like to begin by saying Thank You to Marilyn and by extension Jamie for the link to Denise Linn's Soul Coaching.

It's especially crucial for me, because I lost my book. :( I looked for it last night, only to remember I took it to the gym with me yesterday morning, but it was not in my (Wonder Woman, mhm) gym bag. I must admit I experienced panic and felt a bit of a dufus. I called the gym but they did not have it. So that's when I reached a turning point. I didn't beat myself up and I didn't bemoan my "bad luck". I thought, "Well it must have gone to someone who needs it more at this moment. Someone found it, and took it instead of returning it, because she needed it. I will find a way to get another one."
And the universe replied through Marilyn and Jamie! Thank you Universe! Thank you ladies!

I had a dream last night that I believe is very portentous, melding perfectly with today's focus.

I don't remember the whole dream ( I really must learn how to recall my full dreams), but I do remember the most pithy part. I was a Super Hero. Teehee. There were two males with me. A Super Hero and a Super Villain. In our struggle, because of course there was a struggle, we reached an impasse. There was only one way to traverse to safety over deadly terrain, by swinging across. I called to my companion to follow closely, as I knotted my magical rope (Wonder Woman?) into a loop at the end and tossed it to a sturdy tree branch, tightening the loop. I swung across, yelling I would throw the rope to him. As he reached for the rope, the villain cracked his whip, impeding him. My Super Hero, let go of the rope so as not to get me pulled back into the fray, shouting "Go on ahead, I will be right behind you." And I did, knowing that he would. And I woke up.

Damn. I always wake up too soon. But wow, what a dream! Its interpretations swarm my mind, cluttering to come to the forefront, and I must set them to order before they come scrambling out incoherently. I welcome your interpretations in the meantime.

Today is about honoring relationships. With the Creator, with our parents, with ourselves, with the people around us, discovering patterns.

I can write a book about this, and I believe today, I will be adding to this post all day. In fact, I wish I had all day today to devote to this exercise because I know it is important to me.

You see, I used to always feel alone, as a human being. Since I was a child, I could feel my solitude wrapped around me, and although I had relationships with people, I used to feel the odd person out. The round peg in a sea of square holes. The third girl in a trio of friends. The third wheel in couples. The lonely soul in the marriage. The voice in the desert.

Still, I always had a connection to the universal soul from which we all sprung. I could never understand what or who that was, but I always believed. I read religious texts voraciously. I went to churches and synagogues, temples and mosques. I read about Tao, Zen, Buddha's teachings, Jesus' words. I did not know which to espouse, so I espoused the best of them. Still, I believed without a doubt that there was a purpose to our lives, that we were not results of a freak accident.

I used to wonder if I was the one soul without the mate. I pondered if there was something about me that could not inspire lasting love. I lost friends. I lost lovers. I lost my parents.

That was the turning point for me. When I lost both my parents, I lost faith. I felt like the darkness had descended on me and grief swallowed my very existence. My relationship with my parents was not idyllic, but I know they loved me and I loved them, unconditionally, and that was gone. I was gone. My belief in my purpose was gone.

Until a few weeks ago.

I used that fearless determination of mine and started to singlehandedly pull myself away from the impasse, the deadly terrain I had found myself in. I used the rope fashioned by people's encouragement and love. I was never alone. In my fog, I realized, there were people rooting for me, supporting me, and to them I owe my life. Danette's gentle nudges, her continued and loving support for my efforts. Emily's boundless caring and her hand on my shoulder. Vasya's insistence in making sure I had my god daughter and her with me in my darkest moments. Dawn's humour and persistence in making me watch funny movies As I write this, the tears are falling, the typos increase. Thank the universe for spell check.

Then I was washed by the warm, loving, cleansing water of this lovely community that I swim in. Soul Coaching could have fallen the way of so many other inspirational works I have read and studied and followed. What makes it unique, miraculous, and life-giving is each and every one of you. I am so, so deeply thankful. May the bounties of the heavens rain blessings upon each and every one of you. Thank you.

Am I completely healed? I am not there yet, but on my way. I have found my center again, and it is getting stronger with each rejuvenating breath I take, with each restorative glass of water I drink.