Survival of the Fittest?

Sometimes, I'm convinced I am an alien. It's a thought I have had since I was very young. In fact, during my experimental stage, I tried automatic writing and even that told me I was from Andromeda.

I don't speak the same language as most people. I don't experience the same thought processes. I feel so deeply, I sometimes cannot express it.

My parents told me that I used to write even before I could speak. I filled pages and pages of writing that was illegible to them. Sadly, they threw those notebooks out. I would have liked to have known what my mother tongue is. Maybe that would have made sense to me.

I have already established that I think too much. I process things too quickly. I see the big picture, and it frightens me. It's a miracle I go out of the house at all. Unfortunately, I'm not independently wealthy, otherwise I would have been a recluse.

That's why I love children and animals. They function purely as themselves. They have not had a chance to be messed up yet by the rest of us. And when we have successfully screwed up their purity with our psychoses, we blame them for being that way. When a child smiles or an animal shows affection, you know it comes from pure emotion. There is no affectation.

Later, when the socialization occurs things change and not necessarily for the better.

I had a discussion with a friend tonight about the fact that people are different from animals. His assumption was that I was saying people are better. When did the words different and better become synonymous? Why are animals inferior if they do not have the capacity for higher thinking? Why is it ridiculous to say that animal and human communication is vastly different? Why did that make him angry? All because I would not instantly agree that killing someone on suspicion of crime was a good thing; because I didn't buy that execution is simply an extension of the natural laws of elimination?

The conversation had started with his hatred towards Michael Jackson. I've seen that anger before. I simply argued that MJ did not follow the known patterns of child molesters, and that if he truly was consciously molesting children, he had the financial wherewithal to do so undetected. He ceded that this point was valid.

The conversation branched into killing child molesters as a way of naturally eliminating that trait. How do we know it's a genetic trait that can be eliminated? I asked, who would make that decision? And what if that was a false accusation? Then when we were done with child molesters, where would it stop? Who would be next? If the natural selection analogy held true did that mean we then would start eliminating people with mental disorders? How about the elderly? What about people whom we personally consider inferior?

I know what child molestation does to your self-esteem, your ideas of what is right and natural, your image and expectation of the world and the people in it. Last thing I need is to be told that I am messed up because I don't want to take a gun and start offing all transgressors real or imaginary. There is no way I would not want someone who has victimized the young to be punished, but there are many forms of punishment, and random killing, to me, is just vengence no matter how many theories of natural selection one uses to disguise it in.

But like I said, I am an alien.