In My Head

Today, I was about to delete this blog completely and call it a day. Between the anxiety of trying to keep it up, creating a real readership, promoting it, and the almost rabid worry about what to publish, it defeated the purpose. Couple that with a busy life, a lot of commitments and the nagging need to actually complete something I began, it became a nightmare.

So I logged on, intent of freeing myself of this albatross and drowning it in the ocean. Just as I was about to hit "delete", my sane voice, my inner voice, the voice that needs to smack me upside the head spoke.

"Dude, you have to write. You have started so many projects; you have so many ideas. You need to  stop hiding under the covers of procrastination and freeken write already. You need to round off your body of work to a meaningful conclusion. In other words, finish what you bleeping started!"

Okay. Okay. Fair enough. I confess. I have started so many writing projects, from my list of projects; yet have not finished any one of them. Why is that? Is it a fear of failure or success?

I love to write. I have a lot to write about. My head goes in a million directions, sometimes at the speed of light and I can't keep up with it, let alone convey it in terms any sane reader can decipher.

But, that's another excuse. It's time to end the torrents of excuses and finish something. Follow through.

It's odd because I am one of the most organized people in practical life, but when it comes to creativity, I'm a blob of good intentions and no direction.

That ends today.

And it begins with the decision NOT to delete my blog but to change it to what I really want to write, to create, to finish. There will be no themes, no gimmicks, no more searching.

This will be my process, and it will be a disjointed one. I warn you (if there is a 'you') in advance.  It will seem like there's no structure because there won't be.

I begin with my search, with displaying the unfinished, with the storm in my head, looking for the shelter of completion.

So right now, I have four projects in various stages of completion: There are two novels and two books of non-fiction: one about my experience with social networking and the other about my experience in the education system (a word that must be used lightly).

This is what I will be doing: I will post 2 or 3 chapters of each of these books in separate posts. If I have any readers, and you wish to post a reply, feel free to do so. I have taken the brave road and opened this up to commentary. I hope and pray I don't regret it. :)

Stay tuned!