The Extroverted Introvert

There is a huge spectrum of being within the introvert/extrovert scale. Most of us fall somewhere in the middle, but knowing where we fall on the spectrum is important in understanding ourselves and our interactions with people. It took me a while to figure myself out; but now that I have, it explains a lot about my actions and reactions.

An introvert is someone who finds social interactions draining and difficult. He/she likes to create a cave for themselves and is perfectly content in it. An extrovert is, obviously, the opposite. He/she is someone who loves and gets energy from interacting with people, not liking solitude in any of its forms. There are people who live comfortably in those extremes, and manage to live life successfully this way.

But that's not most of us. Most of us, out of necessity, interact with others, face-to- face, on a daily basis, while regularly finding ourselves, at times, alone. How well we deal with those situations depends on where we fall on the I/E scale. The more introverted we are, the less likely we are to pursue situations with many people, face-to-face. The more extroverted we are, the more we avoid being alone like the plague.

This is why the social media phenomenon is so popular. It satisfies the introverts by allowing them safe interactions, while feeding the extrovert's constant need to be in touch with others, even when there's no one physically around.

I'm an extroverted introvert. I feel most comfortable in my own company, or in the company of a chosen few. Although I can function in larger settings, even addressing large crowds of people, I have had to acquire that skill which does not come naturally. After having been in those situations, I feel drained and require solitude.

I have to encourage myself to be in large settings; I don't do so enthusiastically. That's the introverted part of me. If I can overcome it, which is about 70% of the time, I do so with method. At a party, I will mingle with one or two people at a time, asking them questions about themselves, taking the focus off me, and surviving it piecemeal; but when I get home from the party, I sigh in relief.

I am just as happy going to a movie alone, as going with my buds. I will overcome this to go to a concert that I love, or to a pub; but I don't enjoy clubs, parades and massive venues. I don't like crowds and get overwhelmed when there is a lot of stimulus and noise around me. That's when I create a safe haven in my head to overcome it, but as a rule, I avoid those situations completely.

Not so oddly, I can address big crowds of people, merely because there is a controlled space between them and me; but I cannot address a large crowd of people at a party. Having that much attention in such close proximity makes me uncomfortable.

Where is this all going?

Knowing these things about myself, allows be both to gauge whether I will attempt an experience or not and to develop tools of coping when I do go for it. It gives me peace of mind. I don't beat myself up when I pass on those situations; and when I do, I navigate them more comfortably.

It's an exercise in self-analysis I highly recommend. :)

Magic Mike and Stone Face

A group of my gal pals and I went to see Magic Mike. What red-blooded, straight woman wouldn't? It's not often that any form of media caters to female sexuality and voyeurism, viewing it as taboo. All hail to double standards.

Although this movie, does in a way, empower female sexuality, in other ways it imposes the male's vision of what women would want. This is reinforced by the fact that both the director (Steven Soderbergh) and the screenwriter (Reid Carolin) are men.

Speaking for myself, most of my friends and most of the audience, we didn't go to the movie expecting a fabulous story line, interesting camera angles and award-winning performances. We wanted to see some delicious MAN. We saw some hot Hollywood males for sure, but within a prudish limit, set by male standards, of course; and the movie lived up to our low expectations of plot and acting.

Most notably, what were they thinking casting and directing Cody Horn as the female lead? Her stone-faced disapproval throughout the movie, killed our buzz. And we saw way too much of her on the screen. Hello? The movie is Magic Mike, not Stone Face Brooke. I don't know if it's her lack of acting skills, or the way she was directed into the role, but suffice it to say, she made us angry. When the credits rolled, and her name and face flashed on the screen, we booed.

By contrast, Olivia Munn's performance and presence was much more empowering and likable, until the script demanded that she turn taciturn and cold. This reinforces the fact that the movie's vision was from the male not female perspective. No woman would have made the casting and script decisions made in this movie. I know for a fact, because we all talked about it at length and in disgust, after the movie. Women fall into two categories in Hollywood: irredeemable bitches, and judgmental but pure bitches. Nice.

Further, the evolution of the story, along with it being hackneyed and trite, left much to be desired, not allowing the characters or the situations to evolve organically. The story left us unfulfilled, wanting more and hating the man who could not give us release. In other words, it was like a bad one-night stand.

The direction tried to fulfill their artistic manifesto with some interesting, though sometimes dizzying, camera work; but again, we didn't go expecting to see Tarantino.

Channing Tatum, Joe Manganiello and Matthew McConaughey redeemed the movie to some extent. Tatum can sure move, satisfying our eyes beautifully along with Manganiello and McConaughey; and that would have been enough to please the audience, but then they had to ruin it with a broken plot, female stereotypes and a cliche romantic formula.

Save your dollar bills ladies.

It's All in the Attitude

So as some of you know, I have been struggling with weight my whole life. Though I was blessed with a normal weight when I was young, several events conspired to envelope my body in extra weight in my tweens and it's been a struggle ever since. I am and have been healthy my whole life (excuse me for a second while I superstitiously knock on wood), but that was not enough to ensure a healthy self-confidence. Other people's perceptions weighed me down more than the extra pounds and I have been mired with low self-esteem on the brink of self-loathing most of my life. Loving myself as I am, has not been easy. You can imagine my elation and awe when I stumbled upon this vlog:

 

How absolutely marvelous is she? While watching it for the third time, I asked myself, "How much easier would it have been had I chosen to live with that attitude?" Which brings me to the realization, that it is all about the attitude. People can think what they like. Most don't even bother to think, but espouse what the media and society as a whole deems to be beautiful or normal or acceptable. Why even allow that to color my attitude towards myself?

There's no going back; but as I step into the future while I reshape my body, I will reshape my attitude. My body is the vessel that allows me to travel through this experience we call life. I will care for it, but I will care for the person it houses too. My Self.