When we clean and declutter, we make decisions about what is worth keeping and what needs to be thrown away. Sometimes, the things that we hold onto for dear life - habits, reactions, beliefs, mementos - are things that hold us back. Sometimes, we have to grit our teeth, take a deep breath, and toss, toss, toss.
See Genie Toss...
Tossing away past hurts and grudges. They serve no purpose, except keep me in a bitter soup.
Tossing away past judgements and preconceptions. Life has moved on. It's a different moment in time. I will look on the world like a new born.
Tossing away things that caused me pain. Holding onto them is holding on to pain.
Today, a stone-faced Vice Principal who will never look me in the eye when I talk to her, summarily vetoed the changes I made to my department timetables. Changes that she said I could make. Changes that would give more teachers courses they want to teach. Changes that would put fewer teachers in two departments. Changes that would allow teachers to teach in the same room instead of rushing from one end of the school to the other. Changes that took me hours and hours of discussions, consultations, and paperwork to make.
Why did she do this? Because she can.
Because she can.
I will not put myself in that position any longer. I care about my teachers, about my students, about my profession. I will not be a puppet on the string of incompetent, uncaring, vindictive, power-hungry individuals. Individuals who do not care about teachers, or students, or this profession.
I am dropping it. I put in a good fight. I made a difference. I made things better.
Of this I am proud.
It's as far as I can go in this environment. Now is the time to focus on things I can change. Now is the time to make a difference in smaller scales, in areas where I am allowed to affect change, and screw those "running" the school (to the ground).
Now is the time for me to focus on the things that bring Genie joy, not heartache, not disappointment, not frustration, not pain.
I feel lighter already. :)
11 comments:
I think you're wise, Genie. I remember my teaching days. Sometimes, no matter what, you just have to move on. Good for you!
Isn't it remarkable how wonderful you feel when you toss things off that can't be made right and hang onto you for dear life?!
Oh, I'm glad. So very glad you wrote this post. And, bright blessings for a year ahead that is more than you could imagine or hope!
Sometimes we have to walk away from things for our own peace of mind. I'm glad you did. Like you said, you can make changes in your own way in other areas.
I'm glad you came to that decision. From the time I started reading your blog, this stuff has been weighing you down. You put in a great fight, but I think it is time for you find a haven of peace. You deserve a job in which you can flourish. I wish you the best outcome this situation can bring. You go girl!
Dropping it sounds like a very good idea - and if you have that "lighter" feeling already, you know it is the right thing. I am learning too that doing what brings you joy and trying to keep the focus there brings you more of the same. I hope this is what happens to you too, LOvely Genie.
Enjoy the weightlessness !
May wonderful things manifest for you this year! Kudos for staying as long as you have, & for leaving this toxic environment!! I have several friends who've done that in the last year, (or the toxic person has left, & things have gotten better!) - hard as it can be to let go - it's such a relief!!
BEST WISHES!
Thanks for stopping by 'the Vale'- Re: hidden gluten - there are lists of condiments etc. that may contain gluten. & check lables! (think 'grain damaged' links to some of those)
One client (who tries to avoid wheat) commented she sought out things made with barley malt, & was SO SAD when I told her barley (& rye) also contains gluten!
Herb tea blends may contain malt . . . my daughter realized the 'calming' tea she was giving the girls throughout the summer & fall was one of those :(
& the last time I had that lovely flourless chocolate tort, it came with an ale (barley malt!) sauce!
Digestive enzymes that target hidden gluten are a great investment!
Go Genie Go!!!!
well done Genie~Sea!! Once you start decluttering any area of your life, it makes room for other things - better things.. we can sit here at Reality/Insanity and watch it all manifest for you xoxo
Genie i invite you to
adivashammer.com/?p=763
which of course you are always welcome there , or on any of the muse blogs.
the whole aspect of decluttering becomes so emotional...i am always in flux...as i adore organization but when i am creative...there is clutter everywhere,
EMOTIONAL and PHYSICAL.
For what you did, your accomplishment...I cheer you!
I'm so proud of you, Genie! I believe that focusing on the things you can change will eventually grow to bigger and better things for you and those around you. All the very best, my friend ~ xo
Good for you finding the light in this situation. Don't let them get you down girl....they can't do that.
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