Darkness Be Gone!

There have been times in my life when I have felt the darkness sweep down on me like a vulture ready for the last vestiges of life to leave my heart. I have felt the curtain of despair slowly fall on me, enveloping my mind and heart, turning everything bleak. I have walked with shadows as they pointed out the wasteland around me, gleefully relishing my sadness.

Yet, in those times, when my whole being was threatened with a subterranean existence, I did not realize that a warrior lived inside of me. A woman more powerful than all the cartooned images I idolized as a child. A woman strong enough to will the darkness back, laugh despair into oblivion, tear down the curtains to let in the light, shoot an arrow straight into the heart of that vulture. To make the wasteland dissolve into a world filled with light, life and possibility.

It started as an echo of a voice. A dream of one day being saved by some nebulous other. A longing for release and acceptance. A wish for the shining armored figure to come galloping to my rescue. While outside, a battle waged for my being.

There were enemies everywhere, lurking in mirrors to mock me, in false friendships and love affairs to destroy me, in broken promises, in well-meaning put-downs. And I ingested all of them, accepting my defeat, swallowing the criticism, giving into the apathy.

But she would not let me. Not my warrior.

Her voice became stronger, more outraged, more emphatic. She refused to give in, acquiesce, lay down her arms. She fought on for me, despite of me.

And I survived.

Every heartbreak.

Every broken dream.

Every forsaken promise.

Every maiming experience.

And I am here today, to say, I am victorious. Every time that vulture appears on the horizon, I take aim at it until it falls in a heap to the ground. Every time that curtain threatens to smother my breath, I rip it away and let the fresh air in.

I choose the light.

I am the warrior.

And it feels good!