I Like that Victoria

YES! Day off! Woooo!! And it's Music Monday!

Let's start this day on the right footing! With this video of a BBC Radio1 Live Lounge cover of Black Eyed Peas' "Boom Boom Pow" by Asher Roth. These guys are fun and talented "chaps". Crank it and get ready to shake your booty shaker.




Got your groove on? Yeah baby!

There is nothing like a day off to energize the spirit and restore the mind. I feel like a new person today. I took this weekend at my own pace, and it has brought sharply into focus how much I love my own pace. Stress? What stress? :)

I did kind of get lost, and and uncharacteristically forgot an important social engagement; but my friends, being the amazing people that they are, forgave my situational senility.

I was sorry to miss that special birthday event, but I purposely avoided others.

This weekend, I did a lot of soul-searching. I have reached a point in my life, where I won't do anything I can, not to be alone. In fact, I prefer being alone if the alternative means compromising myself.

I had the opportunity to see that in events that transpired over the weekend. Here is what I learned in avoiding those situations:

1. I don't want to constantly put myself in situations that make me feel awkward, uncomfortable, or an odd numbered wheel.

A friend and her husband invited some mutual friends to dinner. The only requirement for that invitation is that they be part of a couple. That's cool. I get the whole strength in numbers, let's pair up and get together thing. It's all good.

The problem with that scenario was, that I didn't know this was happening, until I met up with them to go to a movie later. I got to a packed theater, to find the couples all had settled down in pods of two leaving me to find a seat by myself. In other words, I went to the movies by myself.

Which is cool. I like going to the movies alone. But not when I am supposed to be going with friends. After the movie, (Star Trek - a second time for me, and I loved it AGAIN!), we convened in the lobby to discuss. As I stood there, amidst the couples grafted to each other, I started to feel like a ghost limb. So when I was asked to go to theirs for dessert, I politely declined.

Instead, I drove home with the music cranked up, and watched Benjamin Button. I was happy to be in my own company. I made pop corn and had some Fresca, and happily watched yet another awesome movie. I didn't once feel like a lesser person because there wasn't a man sitting next to me on the sofa.

2. I don't want to be pressured into impromptu therapy sessions disguised as socializing.

You think you are going over there for dinner, drinks, games or a movie but really what you're doing is consenting to dissection. What awaits is painful hours of being subjected to denigrating comments, and non-stop drivel.

If someone is in pain and needs a shoulder, I'm there. If they are overwhelmed and need help, I will volunteer. If they are lonely and feeling lost, I will take some goodies and visit them. If I know that's what I'm doing, I will do so voluntarily.

But what I won't do is get ambushed by soul suckers with their need to constantly analyze and be analyzed in a vortex trying to ingest me. No thanks. I would rather be alone than in their company. It's not they are evil; it's that they have confused friendship with patient-doctor sessions which I don't do.

3. I will no longer allow myself to be taken down by people who constantly break dates without calling or even acknowledging that they have done so.

I had made plans with a friend on Friday, and she not only did not show up, she didn't call. I called her to see if she was okay, on both her phones, and there was no answer, and she did not return my call. I would have worried except, when I was checking my email, I saw her little "friend" icon light up on my Yahoo email page. That and the fact that she has done this many times before. She makes plans and then doesn't follow through, and when I call, she doesn't pick up her phone. I've seen her ignore calls.

But I wasn't angry like I used to get. I shrugged off her self-absorption and went to visit another friend for tea and Ghost Whisperer.

When she did call two days later, I was in the shower. She left a message wanting to know if I wanted to hang out. No mention of Friday. It was as if she hadn't stood me up. I haven't returned her call. What's to talk about? I have been through this cycle before.

So I came to this freeing and final conclusion:

I have better things to do with my time. Like meet with friends who know how to value me as I value them. Who are there for me, as I am there for them. Who like me for who I am, as I like them for who they are.

And those are the people I want to spend time with. Otherwise, I am perfectly happy in my own company.

This engendered the following painting I made in PS, entitled, Venus Rising.

(click to enlarge)

I'm still dancing. I'm happy. It's Victoria Day. I have some gardening to do with an awesome friend. Life is good! :)