My Stone. The Summit.

Today is Wednesday and you know what that means? Yes! It's Wishcasting with Jamie Ridler over at Starshyne Productions! And this week's question is:

What step do you wish to take?

I read that question, and pondered. And I pondered some more. My brain went into a little seizure. "What step don't I wish to take?" it kept repeating. I decided to do a Flickr random search to inspire me. I settled on this cutie pie. How little she is and yet so confident, standing on a little stone that looks like a mountain to her. On the summit, overlooking her domain, soaking in the rays of the sun and her achievement.

That's where my problem lies. I can hardly ever soak in my achievement. I always focus on the little bit that failed. I speak and I regret it. I take action and I second-guess it. I make something and I think how I can make it better. I look at myself and I notice the flaws.

I know that's preposterous and so against everything I have been working towards. I know, when I speak, I speak from conviction. I know when I take action, I do so because it's necessary. I know I can do better, but I also know that what I have made rocks. I know that in the mirror somewhere, there is beauty.

I know all this.

I do.

Really...

Yesterday, we had a meeting with the heads of the departments. It's my least favorite activity ever. I am one voice lost in translation. The discussion, again, turned towards the uniform. Ugh! Everyone, complacent, spouted ignorance. Here is a sampling of what my colleagues had to say:

• The uniform ensures safety at our school. (This week we had two teachers assaulted by students. )
• The uniform ensures all students equal footing. (Except the ones that are beaten up in the washrooms, and bullied in the halls.)
• The uniform isn't a uniform, it's a dress code. (Dress code gives you guidelines, not specific items you have to wear with crests on them, you dunce.)
• Most of the kids are in uniform. (Right, so the 4% that aren't seem to be the only ones hanging out on the second floor.)
• Work environments have dress codes. This models work environments. (Uh! Work environments? This one for instance? Dude. Why are you wearing shoes without socks?)
• Teachers have to enforce uniforms. They don't have a choice or a say. Do they have a say in stopping at stop lights? Or where they can park? Don't they follow those rules? (Dude. Would they if they weren't fined? Some don't anyway. That's why we have courts.)
• Teachers in your departments must be told to enforce the uniform. (I'll get right on that, right after I ensure all teachers are actually teaching what they're supposed to.)

WTF?

You know I spoke. It fell on deaf ears. The principal indirectly put me in my place. The uniform isn't under discussion. (Sorry, I didn't realize we were talking about the weather...) If you are having issues with getting your teachers to comply, then call the Union. (Sorry. I thought it was your job to make teachers comply, not mine, and not the Union's. And doubly sorry, I thought this was a discussion. My bad.)

I didn't say one thing that was wrong yesterday. Yet, I came home feeling like a failure. I did not get through to them. The logical fallacies reigned. Nothing was achieved.

What step do I want to take?

I wish to step out of the notion that I failed just because I could not get through to a bunch of individuals mired in conformity and inability to get the hell out of the box.

Where do I want to be?

I wish to be on that rock, soaking in the sunshine, and the knowledge, that even though I work with a bunch of people who fail to recognize reality, I still have my summit.