Dance

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So this morning I awoke with this thought. "I wish I were dead."

WTF?

Tears in my eyes, my mind started going over all the reasons why my life sucks.

Again. WTF?

Dude. I thought I was so over this shyte. I am not going to itemize that list, because I refuse to give it voice.

I quickly told whatever part of me that is hanging on to this negative misery to (pardon my language) shut the fuck up.

I got up, made myself a coffee. Cause really? My mind needs a good thrashing. I came to the computer. I put on my tunes, opened Photoshop, and said. "Okay. Go."

I didn't have anything in mind. I just put my hand on the mouse, selected a color and started doodling. And the above painting was born. Hmm. Does it look like it came from the mind of a deranged woman? Because, truly, I feel deranged. It's as if I'm swinging between the vines of mood, like a deranged monkey. No! I'm getting off this ride!

I am not depressed. In fact, right now, I am bopping up and down to music in my seat. So where did all that self-destruction come from? Seriously. Know any good therapists?

I refuse to let this self-defeatist attitude to get the better of me. Did you hear me? I REFUSE! :)

Yeah, yeah. I'm sure if any one of us sat down and itemized all the things that are wrong with our lives, we would sink into the mire of sadness. But why? What is the point of that? Just an emotional masochism that I refuse to give into.

I consider this an emotional detox. I am infusing myself with positivity and light, and an intravenous of life. It makes sense that all this crap would surface, on its way out. So, really. Things have changed in Genieland. In the past, I would give into this self-deprecation and wallow the whole day in sadness.

Not now. No sirree Bob! I nodded at it as it made its way out. Bye bye. I'm dancing. :)

Just dance. :)

Alliance Creative

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It's funny how things seem to fall into place when you finally know what it is you really want and where you really want to go.

Today through Jamie's wonderful book club of 12 Secrets , we are asked to ponder on our Alliances, our Power Teams, real or projected.

I am in the process of creating a Power Team for a project I am envisioning. I call it Alliance Creative. It's a project that will infuse new life into the education system for administrators, teachers and students alike.

I strongly believe that the major stumbling blocks to progress are lack of creativity, an inability to think outside the box, and a reluctance to take chances. Once those obstacles are set aside, and this wonderfully empowering energy is released, the sky is the limit.

What does this dream team consist of?

Women and men who are committed to their own creativity. People who love to inspire others in the pursuit of their "dreams" without judgement or imposition, but with encouragement and acceptance. People who smile in the face of resistance, for there will be lots of it, and use its momentum to create change. People who can voice their opinions and be able to meld them with that of others to create a unified whole.

I picture a light-filled room with this Alliance Creative gathered. Our tools are big blank sheets and crayons, as we map the vision of the future. A future unfettered by past practices, and "this is the way we have always done things" or "when I was in school". A future that takes the technology offered us, and all the valuable non-technological tools of the past, and molds a new vision of what learning is.

The color of this future is not based on the shade of the skin, but the nuance of the palate. The shape of the future is not one dictated by Vogue but one engendered from the vortex of incredible power that lies within each and every one of us.

Alliance Creative is not driven by ego, or the need for fame and fortune, but my the altruistic need to fill this world with people in touch with their creativity, happy with their lives, and committed to the creativity and happiness of others.

This might sound like science fiction, but all the great science fiction authors predicted the future accurately. It begins with my vision, but the vision will be complete after Alliance Creative gets together the first time, and begins the drafting the blueprints.

Who will take the call? I don't know, but I am convinced it will be splendid.

Because, change happens one step at a time. :)

Hooky

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Today, I'm playing hooky! Shhh! Don't tell! :)

Mental health days are probably the best preventative medicine. Studies would show, if there are any, that productivity increases when employees take a day of rest at least once a month. Everyone needs time away to refresh, regenerate, destress. A day away from idiocy, is a great day indeed.

Speaking of idiocy...

Today, I ask for the power of affirmation, and I need your help. The Principals and their Vices found out on Monday what their placements for next year will be. I need a collective prayer to go out into the Universe, to release us from the tyranny and incompetence of this Administrative Team. I need the Power of Positive Thinking to bring to our school a compassionate, competent, creative Principal to fix the shambles of our morale. Someone who has a vision and balls. I know we can all do it. :) Will you send out a prayer, please? :)

Back to my hooky. :)

Today, I will be going up to Newmarket (an hour drive) with a friend to visit our other friend who has just had a cute little baby girl! I am excited! What a great way to spend the day off!

Yesterday, I went a little overboard in the spending but I don't regret it! I decided to create a basket of goodies for the mom, the baby and the big sister. I bought two cute little outfits (okay, seriously, they are CUTE!) and a pink plushy rabbit for Mia(the baby), pampering lotions, bath salts and chocolate for the mom, and a High School Musical make-up and hair kit for the older sister. I put them all together in a nice basket with pink ribbons, and cellophane. It was so much fun! I feel like Genie Claus :)

The best thing about playing hooky is that you're feeling well, and you are doing fun things while everyone is working. Isn't that delicious? When was the last time you played hooky? I highly recommend it.

I'm still in my pajamas, sipping my coffee and blogging when I should be at work! Fantastic! It doesn't take much to make me happy. Hehe.

And the good news continue. I have been looking for a Naturopath and/or Acupuncturist to help me with weight loss. I have ballooned despite the fact that I have been exercising and watching what I eat. I lost not even an ounce. So there is something definitely wrong. And I don't like doctors because all they do is throw medication at you, even before determining the issue.

Anyway, a friend of mine went to this amazing Naturopath and is highly recommending him. So I will be going probably on the weekend. I have a feeling this is it! Liberation is at hand!


The sun is shining. The temperatures are rising. And positive change is coming. Hallelujah!

I hope your day is as fantastic! Blessed be :)

Love the World

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Today our Wizardess of Wishes, the ever inspiring Jamie asks us
"Who do you wish to send some love?"

Firstly I send out my love and prayers to two blog friends:
Robyn, her brother and family.
June, her son and family.
Send a little prayer for each of them please. May they get the best news possible.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I wish to send love out to the world. May it be healthy and peaceful and abundant.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I send love to all the people suffering from the ravages of war, no matter what their political or religious alliance.

I send out love to all the children who are suffering physical or emotional turmoil because of the mistakes of adults.

I send out love to everyone who is feeling alone and abandoned.

I send love to the animals on this planet who have been our companions from the start.

I send out love to the moon and the sun for nurturing and guiding us.

I send love out to the Universal Divine for the precious gift of life and soul.

I send love to each and every one of you. May you be healthy, happy and abundantly fulfilled.

I send love out to my soul's mate wherever he may be. Breakfast will be ready in half an hour :)

Blessed be :)

Abstracted

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So, I woke up at an indecent hour again today. I am wondering if this is going to be a new pattern in my life; if so, I am not liking it!

I was going to go over a list if things that might be bothering me and keeping me from having a good rest, but I didn't have the energy this morning. Instead, I painted the above in PS. Close to two hours and 12 layers later, I was satisfied with the result. I was playing with textures and colors and their relationship with each other, making some layers bolder than others. I have to say the colors make me happy. They are saturated goodness. I need color in my life right now, because when I look out the window at the greyness and haggard snow, I want to scream. :)

What I really need is a vacation to one of the places I mentioned a few posts down. Being a teacher, I am enslaved by the school calendar and I don't have the option to take a week or two when I need to. Before anyone even says that I should not complain because I get two months off in the summer, let me emphatically say, I am not crazy with two months off in the summer. It doesn't suit my lifestyle, and I am not even sure it suits many people's anymore.

It's an antiquated system based on a predominantly agricultural society. It's outdated. Working parents, who are not teachers and who cannot afford to take that chunk of time off, are stuck. They have to make arrangements for wads of cash usually, to make sure their kids are taken care of. Kids lose the plot over such a long period without schooling, and practically have to be retrained every September. It just doesn't make any sense.

It's pointless to discuss this I know, because changing the education system is harder than putting an elephant in a tutu and training him to do a pirouette.

I don't even have the cash to go on a trip right now. But soon...

I got an offer to write an educational text. That's good news, right? I guess. I'm not jumping for joy really. It will be extra money, which I need, but I feel like writing a textbook about as much as filling my mouth with root canals. :)

I should be grateful I am getting this opportunity. Right? And make the best of it. Right? It's an honor. Right?

Okay.

Yipee! (Fake it until you make it...)

I'm rambling. I know. I'm tired, and my alarm with be going off soon. Maybe I should take a nap. But I want to visit your blogs and say "hi!" especially after the disappearing followers fiasco! Yeesh. :)

I hope your day is a splendid one, and that all the elephants in your lives dance like sugar plum fairies. :)

Lost Followers? Oh No, You Didn't!

It came to my attention that I stopped following some of my dear blogs! I checked and found I was off everyone's follow list!

So I checked into things and I found this info!

I solved it by going into my Dashboard. On my follow list. I clicked Manage, and found I was "Anonymous" on all the blogs! I changed all of them to "Public". Now I am back!

So you didn't lose your followers. They are just tinkering with things at blogger.

Word

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Just when you had given up
thrown down that glove
had said “Enough!”

Just when one more
well meaning soul
says, “Time will tell."
You quell the urge
to tell them to
“Back off!”

You fall under a spell.
Threads that connect
Vein to blood
Heart to soul
Mind to laughter.

It’s an interstellar matter.

You yourself
would have scoffed
at those words.
so trite.

Laugh to yourself
and think,
“Well now who’s
right?”

And watch
your very feet
take flight

to parts
well-known
in dreams.

When once
you cried
alone
at night
because you
did not
believe.

The world
retrieves

the one
who takes
those tears
that water
your heart

and drinks them.

Sinks them
in the earth

a well of love
that grows
with them
to
new life.

Face it.

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Today is Sunday, a special day for many. They go to church or have family rituals, or celebrate Sacred Sunday. Sunday has always been a day of rest and reflection for me. My family were not church goers, and after having read many spiritual and religious texts, I decided I was not one for group rituals. And that's okay. :)

My morning Sunday ritual involves a cooked, healthy breakfast and Coronation Street. There is something very comforting about it, for me.

This morning, I changed things up a little. I played music and danced. I painted. I allowed thoughts to meander in and out of my consciousness, mulling over some, letting others go. While I was doing that, I painted the above in PS. It's a loose self-portrait. A face I have often drawn or sketched or painted. It's me, inside. It's the face I see sometimes in the mirror, when I am at peace with myself.

I am at peace with myself.

And the reflections continue.

I found myself thinking a lot about a couple of blog friends with whom I had become attached in a spiritual way, whose perspectives and journeys touched my heart and soul. They have since deleted their blogs, for good reasons of their own. But I miss them. I had to finally face it, and delete their blogs off my roll. That saddened me a bit. I won't lie. It's selfish. I know their reasons, both personal and compelling, are necessary for their growth and health; but I often wonder how they are. I send them my wishes of renewed health and energy, and wish them well.

It's awe-inspiring how close I have become to the wonderful people I have met through the blogosphere. How close I have come to you, and how invested I have become in your lives and your journey. You have come to mean a lot to me. You are an ever growing circle of love and light, even at times of struggle and pain. We have become a Tribe, and that is why when some leave to go on their Hero Quests, it leaves a little bit of a vacuum, like an empty seat at the table.

But that seat will always be waiting, when you are ready, when they are ready. There will always be a plate of love and acceptance.

What all this rumination is leading to is my absolute gratitude at your existence and how it has made my life better, brighter, more focused. Thank you :)

One day, I will individually tell you what you each mean to me, but for now, I send you blessings on this Sunday with the hope that you are well, healthy, happy and fully engaged in life. :)

Picnic Party!

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Today I invite all of you to a
Picnic!

Bring something fun with you!

• a favorite song that makes your body groove
• a delicious dish that makes your mouth water
• a marvelous link that makes your mind go AH!
• a great book that transports you to another realm
• an inspiring person who makes your soul do the happy dance
• an act of kindness that brings joy to the heart
• a funny joke that fills your lungs with laughter
• a fascinating video that makes your mind juices flow
• a piece of art that puts you in a reverie
• a thought that flows into your blood

And Share it with US!

Let's celebrate!

Whether it's hot or cold outside. Sunny or snowing. Let's take a moment and gather together and share our blessings, in a wonderful creative picnic.

I've got some bubbly and brownies.

And THIS!

Blessed BE! :)

No Place Like Home

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Today through Jamie's book club exploration of 12 Secret of Creative Women we are asked to explore and introduce our guides.

Before I go into the history of my guides, I have to acknowledge the most important guidance I am getting right now. And that is each and every one of YOU! Your stories, your explorations, your processes, your insights, your art has both inspired and light-ened my life in so many ways. Through your comments you have given selflessly of your support, encouragement and guidance; and for all this I am truly and deeply grateful.

Guidance often is this subtle whispering in our heads. It might wake us in the middle of the night with its constant nattering until we yield. Our spirit guides, our higher selves, our connections to the Universal whole are our constant companions.

When we are children, we are greatly attached and in tune with those. They speak to us more clearly before the cacophony of this world drowns them out. Before we are told there is no such thing as "imaginary friends". Before the supercilious voice of society starts to mock us and dictate our every move, we are in touch with that "magic" that guides us and comforts us. Then we walk around missing something greatly without knowing what, searching for something to replace it. Religion, philosophy, amusement, anything. But that void cannot be filled, because it is not there.

My guides never left me. I lost the ability to hear them. I lost my way. Like Dorothy, I was swept up by the whirlwind of this life and all its impositions and transported into a place that held enchantment and treachery. I cascaded in my quest to find the answers through religions, through books like I Ching, through tools like Tarot, through the Zen voices in the trees. And they have been helpful and trustworthy companions. They have been loyal guides who have taken me to other sources, and other theories. Yet, there was something inside me that cried.

Like Dorothy, I had the answer in me the whole time. The sparkling crystal-red shoes inside me, who have been pushing me to hear again. To see again. To feel again. My true guides. The ones who came with me into this world, and the ones who will help me leave it.

With our reunion, I have lost fear. I have lost that deep ache, that inconsolable sadness, that feeling of hopeless desperation. They have been replaced with a joy for every magical moment on this earth, a wisdom to accept the lessons this life has to teach me, and to let go of the pain, a humbling of my ego that was fed by this temporal world to believe it knows everything.

All these treasures lie inside of me, and beyond me but connected by the umbilical cord of the soul. The spirit connection to the mother Universe who speaks to us through wind, and water, through animals and crackling fire.

These are the treasures that lie inside of you. May you find them, and if you have found them, may you hold onto to them tightly and cherish them.

Because.

There is no place like home.


Blessed be :)