Peace on Earth

You know when you make that perfect cup of coffee? Or tea or hot chocolate or martini? It has the exact proportions of all the right ingredients that when blended together make a heavenly concoction.

Right now, I am drinking a perfect cup of coffee. My mouth is smiling, my brain is humming, my tummy greets it happily.

This is my morning ritual. I don't care what anyone says, coffee is Zen. :)

This is just the beginning of my Sunday morning ritual which culminates in a lovely brunch while watching Corrie Street.

If you haven't tried the show, don't knock it. It's comfort food for the soul. I have watched it for more years than I have watched anything. There is something about its grass roots aura that appeals to me. It's touching and endearing and goes perfectly with bacon and eggs, raw baby spinach and sprouted grains toast. :)

Outside, the snow is coming down. The streets are quiet. People are sleeping. Everything is blanketed in peace. For now, no one is gunning for the mall in gluttonous consumerism. Right now, no one is screaming at anyone else because of a fender bender in the mall parking lot. This moment, no one is worried because their to-do list is too long.

Right now, as I count my blessings, I send out into the world the wish that everyone is warm, fed, and their thirsts are quenched. Yesterday, Serena posted a powerful video that touched the very core of my belief system. If you haven't had a chance to see it, you can watch it here.

This year, I am deeply aware of the sharp contrasts between the haves and the have-nots. The need for human kindness is greater than it has ever been before. Yesterday, a man approached me, visibly distraught, because he needed gas to get his wife home. I didn't stand there and deconstruct why he was driving on no budget. I didn't wonder if he was scamming me. I took out what change I had and gave it to him. No one should ever be in that position to beg for anything. He told me he was very ashamed having to ask, and I replied, "There is no shame. Any one of us can be in this position."

Anyone of us can be in this position.
Any one of us.

I am acutely aware of the fact that I am blessed. The Universe has heaped me with blessings. I have the luxury of brunch and Corrie in a warm house with a loving cat to scratch for scraps of bacon, and to curl up snoring on my legs. I have the luxury to decide which book I will read today, which movie of the six that I rented to watch. I can plan whether I want lentil soup with sauteed onions for dinner, or chili. I have choices. I am blessed to have them.

I have the luxury to create and be inspired. I can watch a video like the one Leah posted here and be moved to reach for my soul's passion.

Life is so delicate
a transmuting thing,
One moment we're
flying on gossamer wings
The next moment we topple
overcome by the strain
Our whole world
encumbered by
deep-rooted pain
Some people possess
riches untold
While others starve
outside
in the cold.
The Universe's bounty
is limitless
and while we strive for
enrichment
we must remember this
That others on earth
need our prayers too
We must spread our love
and let it shine through
to everyone around us
not only our friends
because any one of us
can meet with this end.

Today marks the unveiling of the final Major Arcana card I designed - Balance. Formerly known as "justice". Balance is a more comprehensive and less bureaucratic manifestation. With balance, we can make wise and considered choices while looking at the big picture of life. Our actions are balanced by our reactions. Our pain is balanced by happiness. Out of a devastating storm comes overwhelming humanity. From tears comes laughter. Without the darkness, we cannot see the light.

This card is not about lawyers and litigation. It's about the infinite wisdom of our instincts - both spiritual and carnal. We have all the tools to maintain a balanced life- being thankful for our blessings, while acknowledging that others need help to find their own.

Balance is about the serenity of knowing one's place in the a world filled with souls each on his/her journey to find their source.

May your life be balanced. May your tables be full. May your hearts glow with love.

Blessed be :)

Freedom

I wake up early but in a delicious mood. It's my first day off for the holidays and I am mistress of my own time!

How awesome!

Outside the world is blanketed with snow. The first storm of the season. Everything is white with blue gray shadows outside, like a million doves resting peacefully. We are expecting more snow, so this is a perfect weekend to hibernate with a good book, pop corn and movies. A few deep power naps and some frolicking in the snow should balance out the next couple of days nicely, and restore my energy levels.

Yesterday, the last day of school, was filled with smiles and well-wishes, cookies and goodies.

We also had our assembly where the teachers performed for the students.

Okay. Can I say how exhilarating that was? When we got on stage and throughout our performance, the students brought down the house. We felt like superstars. From the way they reacted to our performance, I think we killed it. Heh! When I get the video or a link to youtube with our performance, I will get to see it. And so will you! :) I'm not too shy to post it. ;)

Today's card is Release, a transformed "Judgement". I chose to rename this card for the obvious reasons. Judgement, though a word that means balanced consideration, has also become associated with rigidly negative connotations. I'm all about transmuting the negative into positive, so "Release" was born. Out of the fire, powerful intentions shimmer into the universe. Reborn, renewed, released, this surge enlivens the spirit, the heart, the body with a fresh infusion of life. This is a sacred communion between the soul and her origin spirit. It is a profoundly personal source of enlightenment, not a dire accounting of one's flaws.

We have all been there. We are our own worst critics, most of us. I know I can be. I don't know why it is so much easier to put ourselves down, than to give ourselves praise. We worry that we will seem immodest, arrogant, self-absorbed; but if we do not acknowledge our own victories, and forgive ourselves of our flaws, while working on them with awareness, then we are not authentic.

I release all that I am, knowing I am growing into the soul I am, free from the influences that pummeled me into submission. I shed the negative, accusatory influences that have sought to bring me down. I step out of the soup of negative energy into the fire of transformation, being all that I truly am.

This is my wish for you. To be reborn from the ashes of the destructive influences in your lives, and out of the fire of intent, rise, the truly splendid souls you are!

Blessed be :)

Solitude

There are days that I crave solitude. Days when I feel every bit of my energy drained by other people. Days when I need to restore myself, away from people.

Maybe this is a side-effect of a profession that demands so much social contact, so many interactions, so much energy. A profession that requires you to be "on" all the time.

I am looking forward to switching "off" for a bit. Off the beaten path. Off duty. Off the hook. Off in my own world.

Last night, we had our staff holiday party and it was fun to chat with people, share a drink, dance a little bit. Unwind. People are infinitely interesting, and so different away from their jobs. It was nice to hang out with colleagues with whom I hardly exchange anything but a greeting.

Of course, I had to experience a socially awkward moment when this sweet girl asked me if I "talked to so-and-so lately" (an acquaintance of ours at another school) and I ever so delicately stated, "Oh no! I don't talk to that woman anymore."

Okay, really? Genie? Sometimes you need to just watch what you say! I immediately regretted it. I have very good reasons not to be associating with this person (energy zapper #1) but did I need to open my mouth and blurt all that out when I could have just said, "No," and smiled? Sometimes I just want to kick myself in the butt.

I felt so badly for this poor unsuspecting girl who asked a perfectly normal social question. I immediately remarked how awesome her blouse was. And it was awesome, steering the conversation to safer ground for both of us.

Have you ever experienced this? The foot-in-the-mouth, oh-no-you-didn't moment? Not fun. It's okay to get rid of frienemies but it's better to keep others out of it. I know all this, but there went my mouth!

This would not have happened if I were not so depleted. The little "imp" inside me would not have taken over. Don't get me wrong. That was just one moment. The rest of the evening was filled with laughter and dance and nice conversation. It was that moment that signalled to me loudly and clearly that I needed time out. Time to step away. Two or three days of just letting myself recover from a few months of extreme stress.

The Hermit is the perfect symbol for this. It signals a time of much-needed solitude to reflect, regroup and formulate a vision for the future. The Hermit doesn't feel lonely or isolated. She is comfortable in her own company knowing that she needs this space to regenerate the light she gives to the world, knowing that in order to be of use to others, she needs to be completely at peace with herself. She knows that to operate with the total integrity she has committed herself to, she must be able to solidify all parts of herself that have fragmented from daily contact and interaction with others' energy.

May you find some time of peaceful self-reflection to regenerate your wonderful soul so that you may continue to give the light into the universe and all in it.

Blessed be :)

Turning Turning

I can taste it. Two more days, and I will be released into my own care. In other words, HOLIDAYS!

The past few weeks were wrought with stress as my plate of things to do and situations to deal with has been heaped higher and higher. There have been a couple of breaking points when I thought quite literally I would lose my mind, but I have mostly kept it together. At least I didn't pummel anyone within an inch of their lives. :)

Taking the good advice of the my many friendly guides in the blogoshpere and in my everyday life, I started to trim down the things I committed to doing. I'm not completely stress free. I have undertaken some huge tasks because I believe in them, but I am taking myself off the hook. I put myself there to begin with.

Time for change and turn of events is upon me. This I can feel in the very marrow of my soul. This is inevitable, as I am in the process of transformation. I am coming into my own, everyday more sure of my direction, clearer in my vision, more steady in my intention.

Tuesday, I chaired a staff meeting that could have been disastrous. I'm not exaggerating. Those of you who have been following my journey, know that there are plenty of reasons for anger, resentment, frustration in my workplace. It is bubbling over with toxicity. It threatened to explode on a guest speaker we had come in to go through Safe Schools procedure which has become Law. I had to make sure that people stayed calm, and had an opportunity to speak without losing their tempers. I even stepped in to save one teacher who was in the process of committing professional hari kari. I know I did a good job because everyone I have encountered since has told me so. Even the principal... (insert a pregnant pause). Yes that principal!

We had more interviews this week and selected another outstanding candidate for yet another position (one of five) that needs to be filled. I know I am responsible for this process happening in a timely fashion because in the past, we have languished for weeks without necessary positions being filled.

In the midst of dealing with exams, and substitute teachers from hell, maintaining a delicate balance between my personal and professional relationships in the department, trying to make sure my students have the skills necessary to achieve their goals, I have proven that I can also play an important role on a school-wide scale. Yes. I am proud of myself. I don't remember another time in my life when I said those words, and meant them.

That is transformation indeed.

This is why I chose today to let The Wheel of Fortune make her appearance. This is her day.

The tide is ever turning. Conditions ever change. Situations transmute into other ones. The wheel keeps turning; but with our guides, and the wisdom they allow us, we can gain insight, enlightenment and empowerment through these changes. And before we know it, the change is within us. Many fear change because of its uncertain outcome, but it is necessary for growth; and in embracing it, we experience life and ourselves in ways we never imagined. How exciting is that? :)

May your steps lead you to exciting, new discoveries. :)

Blessed be :)

100th Post!

Woohooo! I made it to my 100th post! I never thought how much starting a blog would change my life, but it did.

It started as a solitary journey, a need to type out my thoughts and let them go into cyberspace. I had this growing desire to let my thoughts wander out of my head onto the web. Most of the time they went unread except by me, but it was alright. In the action was the reason. I wanted to put my voice out there.

There were months I published quite a few posts, and months when I hardly published anything at all.

Then through a series of fortunate events, I came upon Soul Coaching and decided to participate at the last minute. I didn't think I would have time to complete it, but I thought I would give it a try.

And I am glad I did. Going through the exercises taught me a lot about myself and has started me on a journey of awareness like I have not had before.

But more importantly, it allowed me to connect to a world of amazing people whose encouragement, advice, support and friendship have come to mean so much to me. My journey is no longer solitary. I reach out, and others reach back. I have become part of a community of souls that has filled my heart with hope.

Externally, my life has not changed that much. Yet. I live in the same home. I work at the same place. I deal with the same B.S. I am in a leadership position now, which has added to my stress exponentially.

All that is just the peel of the fruit. The juice and pulp have altered. I am transforming.

I have started and will complete my Tarot project which is the child of this journey. It was birthed through this process, and now has a voice of its own. Its own purpose and destiny.

I am identifying the things that fill me and the things that deplete me, and in so doing I am in the process of allocating them according importance and impact in my life.

I am aware of myself, and how I react to others. I am learning to stop blaming myself for others' decisions and actions. I am asserting myself more, not in an effort to control others, but in an effort to have integrity in what I believe in and who I am.

I was taught at a tender and early age to subjugate myself for others. That my feelings, my needs and my goals were not as important as anyone else's. That even in saying that they were, I was being selfish. This made me vulnerable. I was damaged, as person after person came into my life, took what he or she needed, and then left without a backward glance. Each time, I was left with a lower self-worth, half-broken. But I didn't break. I kept on. I tried to make others happy.

Now I know how sadly deluded I was. I cannot make anyone happy. I am not responsible for anyone else's happiness. That is not to say I can go around stomping on people and disregarding their feelings. It does mean however, that they cannot do that to me either.

I don't know if I am relaying how important this last realization is, but it's gigantic. It's liberating.

This is why I have chosen The Star for today's Tarot. It speaks of possibility. Of hope. Of being guided to a better today. This card is about the nourishment of dreaming. The integrity of vision. The belief that one's path is authentic and true. With this card, I am aware of my accomplishments, and of the road ahead. It is filled with light.

May the Star guide your steps to your soul's ease.

Blessed be :)

Manifestation of the Emperor

Look at the kindness in his eyes. The assurance.

He is the master of his domain without being a tyrant. He is sensitive to the changes in the landscape, and in the conditions around him. He is strong and confident in his strength. Having him around, everyone knows all will be well.

With the Raven as his totem, he embodies the elements of healing, protection and wisdom. He is of the earth, solid in his foundation, but he is also of the air, light with life and humour. The fire in his eyes speak of a deep passion both spiritual and carnal. He is fluid like water, open to possibility.

These are the qualities I call on within myself. These are the qualities I look for in a mate. This is the man I wish to manifest into my life.

I have been walking life's path without my soul companion too long. I am ready to meet him, to be with him, to walk life's journey with him.

I awoke this morning from my dreams with this strong message: it is time.

Time for me to be with the one I have been yearning for my whole life. The man who loves me. The man I love. Really.

Blessed be :)

Seasoning

As the last week of school before the holidays begins, I channel my serenity as much as I can. I will be needing it, as this week is going to be another busy one.

I took the weekend to regenerate and restore my spiritual and emotional balance. I have been experiencing a series of events that threatened to topple me into mental oblivion.

I have been noticing a lot of my friends are feeling the same kind of crunchy pressure. Whenever I talk to someone on the phone, I hear about tension, arguments, hurt feelings, resentment, and anger. It seems as if everyone's blood has been seasoned with concentrated chili juice.

Does this happen every season; or is this some astrological phenomenon that is affecting us? I don't recall this many people telling me they are this overwhelmed.

The strange thing is, we all seem to voluntarily take it on. In more cases than not, we are putting that pressure on our own selves. I know I have, and I am reminding myself to cut back, step away, say "no" politely.

In the next few days, when I will be surrounded by people's wired energy, and school frenzy, I draw on the High Priestess in me. She is serene and intuitive, letting the situation unfold without letting it affect her. She knows that action has reaction and thus lets her steps and words be balanced. She watches the signs and understands them; and in decoding them, she knows the right action to take. The High Priestess draws on the abundant wisdom of the Universe and all the tools she gives us.

We do not have to interact with everything and everyone that comes our way. It is good to stay centered, study their energy, making an informed and intuitive decision about what action to take. Sometimes the best action is inaction. Sometimes, it's best to walk away.

May the High Priestess bathe you in her intuitive wisdom that she gains from the Universe's vast database. May your serenity and purpose be balanced, and your days be fruitful.

Blessed be :)

Profusion

The Hierophant has transmuted to the High Priest in my deck. In my vision, the High Priest does not represent authority, or restraining tradition. He represents the teacher, the healer, the spirit guide. He holds the wisdom of the earth, the profuse tools that provide stability, safety, and guidance. He is welcoming in his embrace, and loving in his advice. He does not judge. He helps the seeker to find her own answers, knowing that she is valued, no matter what.

I woke up early again - 3 am. I worked on this Tarot, read a little bit, had some quiet visualization time, and went back to sleep.

My dreams were filled with my anxieties. I don't remember all of them, but I woke up depleted. Like I traveled many worlds in my sleep.

In this state, I was not ready for the email that was lying in wait. It's tone was slightly hostile and dismissive. My energy went down, and fast.

In the past, this would have ruined my mood all day, having set the tone.

I am different now. Having gone through the Soul Coaching experience with all its amazing participants, I gained some valuable tools.

Instead of allowing this negative energy to spiral me into its grasp, I asked myself a question. "Is this email reflecting where you are at this moment or where the sender is?" The answer was simple.

It was the sender's energy that was spreading gloom over the worldwide web, trying to affect me, consciously or not. That is not something in my control. What is my choice however, is how I allow it to affect me. I could take that energy and allow it to resonate with me, feeding my shadow self who lies dormant and waiting to pounce; or I could let it disperse, unwanted, and unneeded. I adopted a neutral tone in response to the email, and deleted the original. It's not going to sit in my inbox waiting to be read again.

As for my dreams, I know they were just a way for me to work out things that have been bothering me. I went through the ones I remembered, one by one, and asked the same question, over and over. "Why are you worried about this?" Then I would wait for the answer. Every single answer revealed itself simply. With this process, each and every one of my worries dispelled.

AH! Thank you High Priest. :)

Now onto happier things. Beverly gave me the Tree of Happiness Award! (see left sidebar) A lovely honor! Thank you :) If you haven't visited her blog, take some time to do so! It's full of magickal stories. You could even share them with your little ones. :)

Zie Rules:

• Link to the person who gave the award to you. (check - see above)
• Post the rules on your blog. (check)
• List six things that make you happy. (following)
• Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them. (check)
• Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog (check)
• Let the person who awarded you know when your entry is up. (check)

Six things that make me happy: (The hard thing is picking six. They are not in order or importance)

• Spending time with my goddaughter and her mom
• Spending time with my friends (on and offline)
• Playing with Stinky
• Writing
• Art
• Small lights on dark nights

Now to bestow the Tree of Happiness. (Another difficult task as everyone on my blog roll is an amazing person who brings me wisdom and smiles, inspiration and laughter, enlightenment and joy.)

1- Dia whose lovely harp brings joy into the world, as do her words into our souls. :)

2- Ellie whose incredible strength and attitude are a true inspiration for anyone who visits her blog. :)

3- Linda who is the epitome of wonderful, brave, and determined. Her talent is stunning. :)

4- Marilyn who is ever-growing, ever-illuminating, ever-caring. :)

5- Tammie Lee who will get your creative juices flowing, your mind working, and your heart pumping.

6- Paula whose blog gives me joy every time a visit it. I always read her posts with a smile on my face, and she is warmer and sweeter than hot chocolate. :)

Phew!

Blessed be :)

Moon Spinner

Ah the full moon!
There she is in all her glory,
smiling down on us, serene.
Gleaming on our skin is her story
Turning reality into a dream.
Everyone smiles to meet her gaze
Awakening us from our daily daze
Making the water in our blood stir
Coming alive, for love of her.
She walks with us, in darkness' path
Washing us in her moonbeam's bath
Everything is beautiful under her glow
Feelings erupt, emotions grow
She is our guide,
our muse,
our glee
I watch the moon
As she watches me.

Last night, I bundled up, made a hot chocolate and had my moments with the moon through the clouds. The street was quiet. The air was crisp, But soul to soul, we took a trip of emotion. She stirred me and settled me at once. "How beautiful you are." I breathed. "How beautiful you are." She smiled. Standing in her light, I was washed clean, from the day's frustrations, from worry, from everything. My mind, my heart, my soul were aglow. I slept well.

In honor of her fullness, and to participate in Suzie's dream board project I made The Moon card. It encapsulates her dreamy quality, her guiding us through the darkness, and all the romanticism accompanying her.

It was a tumultuous couple of days for me. My hormones turned my emotions into an uncontrollable tsunami, and I needed my solitude which I sought out the first opportunity I got. I feel calm today, at peace, knowing I have this day to do as I please, and what I please to do is spend time with myself. Reconnect, recharge, regain my balance. Thank you Moon :)

Thank you to all of you who bestowed upon me your words of support and encouragement. I cannot say enough how much this means to me. You are like a group of angelic magicians holding hands and blanketing me with your care. :)

Breedale was sweet enough to bestow on me the friendship award (see the left sidebar) that I now gladly bestow on others. Thank you Breedale for being all the wonderful things you are, but mostly an inspiration to me and many others. Blessed be my friend. :)

"These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

I pass the torch of friendship to:

1- Kavindra who gives of herself abundantly not only on her wonderful blogs, but through comments on others'. She is a constant source of light and humour. Thank you :)

2- Gemma who always has a kind word, a helpful comment, a warm perspective. Her compassion and wisdom are endless.

3- Tabby who not only chooses bliss, but is bliss personified. If ever you feel like life has trampled you, visit her blog. :)

4- Sandy who has such love to bathe the whole world in. Her words of encouragement and compassion are always magical. :)

5- Robyn who has created a portal to a magical world. Click on the bird's wing! Do it soon because the portal doesn't stay open long and you will miss out. :)

6- Fatma who is constantly providing resources of wellness and health. :)

7- Shannon who is a powerhouse. To say her perspective is unique, engaging and downright funny, is making an understatement. :)

8- Last but not least, Danette who is the alpha and omega to me. You simply have to visit her to see why. Splendidness in every way :)

In the spirit of giving, a couple of days ago, Tori tagged me with the "5-a-day" meme. Five things you do everyday to keep balanced. I did my five, now it's time to pass it along :)

1- Rowena
2- Beverly
3- Boho
4- Jane
5- Kim

All of these amazing women have an incredible story to tell, a beautiful perspective, and amazing strength. They, like all the blogs on my roll, are ceaseless sources of inspiration. Thank you.

Blessed be :)

Aerial Acrobatics

Don't you hate it when your mind just says, "Wake up!" and you look at the time and it's 4 am? And you don't need to roll out of bed for another two hours?

Too much on my mind, maybe? Taken on a wee bit too much, perhaps? Allowing little things to take over my mental state, possibly?

I have always had the need to solve problems. Roll up my sleeves and get things done. I'm not one to whine and complain and then go about and finish my sandwich. I need to get things resolved.

Problems arise when I have to count on others to help. That's when it gets sticky. Not everyone is like me.

"That's a great idea they say", while munching on their sandwich, "but I can't do it. You should do it, and I will sit here eating my lunch, pretending I have helped."

"How about... hell no! How about, you're not involved and therefore you have no say in the outcome," I want to say, but grit my teeth instead.

I obviously need to vent. I am a venter. When things, really people, get to me, I allow my feelings to bubble to the surface (in a controlled environment, of course). Once I'm done, I feel better, and no one is hurt. But there are times I so sorely want to put that person in his/her place with my sharp tongue. It's a registered weapon. That's why I keep it under wraps as much as I can.

I know I should be more understanding of people who are not like me. I realize this. I know it can be a form of intolerance. But do we have to tolerate all behaviour, no matter what? Do we? Really? I can't bitch slap anyone with a few choice words? Why must I always be taking the higher ground? Being the better woman? Practicing acceptance, while missing my lunch, when others can sit there placidly and do nothing? Why even ask why?

It's my fault really. It's a form of arrogance to think I can solve all the problems that come my way. I am not that far gone though, not to seek help, but sometimes help is just not there. Sometimes, I cannot rely on people. Actually, it has been my experience that I cannot rely on people most of the time. It took me forever to even start asking for help. I had learned to not even bother. But being in a leadership position, I am inundated with responsibilities and chores and paperwork on top of my teaching duties. My plate is so full it's cracking. I need to ask for help.

Why am I taking so much on? I see a need, I try to fill it. This club needs an advisor. I'll do it. The school needs to build spirit. I'll help. The dance needs chaperons. I'll volunteer.

"Hello? Genie? You're not ubiquitous. You can't do it all!" The voice in my head whispers. Hell, now it's yelling at me. I can't fault it for getting upset. I need to stop.

But I know if I do, there will be no one to step up in my place. People just don't care. Too many teachers think the job is 8:30- 3:30, teach the classes (sometimes horrifically), do some marking and go home. Okay, that is the biggest part of the job, but the school is a community, and communities that are made up of apathetic and self-centered people, collapse. The students, some of which who have also been raised to be apathetic and self-centered, need better role models.

I suppose you are wondering what the hell I am venting about. :)

Well... (insert deep breath)

I am swamped.

• As you know, some of us have taken on the cause of putting this administration on the right path. Lots of work, stress and effort involved.
• I have about 20 things to do each day, over and above preparing creative lessons, teaching, leading, inspiring students. Timetables to sort, exams to vet, interviews to conduct, grievances to smooth over, reassurances to give, meetings, meetings, meetings.
• I have taken on a very important and needed club for our school, one that has never existed - The Black Culture club.
• I have tried to revive school spirit by spearheading a morning radio show run by students, guided by me.
• I have rewritten and helped choreograph a remix of a song for our department to perform this Friday at the yule assembly. We have had no rehearsals except with Emily (my goddess-send)
  
• I volunteered to be at the charity basketball game.
• I volunteered to chaperon the semi-formal.
• I have unmarked papers up the wazoo. They can populate a small forest.
• I have two classes of students blogs to read.
• I am slowly going crazy.

(Insert another deep breath here)

Time is running out, and we need to rehearse the song. I asked if we could get together on Sunday to do the major rehearsal for a couple of hours in the afternoon. Some said they could make it, a few others made some excuses as to why they couldn't. What they really meant was they don't want to. I wanted to roar.

I need to be fair to myself.

I have taken on too much. I feel like an acrobat swinging without a net, and I am solely responsible for putting myself in this position. I care too damn much about the students, and their high school experience. I should just go to work, put in my time, and collect my paycheck. Right?

Nope. I'm not like that.

This why I chose to redesign the traditional "hanged man" for today's Tarot. It's called, "Acrobat". A death defying act of fearlessness. See the calm look on his face? It is a card of giving, but also one of personal peril. The secret is in the balance. In the training. In the attitude. I am a novice aerialist, and I have much to learn. But my heart is in the right place, even if my feet are dangling many meters above safe ground. I need to fashion myself a safety net...

May your safety nets be strong. May your support system weather any circumstance. May you perform death-defying acts safely. May you find the balance necessary to navigate through life's challenges.

Blessed be :)