Dance

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So this morning I awoke with this thought. "I wish I were dead."

WTF?

Tears in my eyes, my mind started going over all the reasons why my life sucks.

Again. WTF?

Dude. I thought I was so over this shyte. I am not going to itemize that list, because I refuse to give it voice.

I quickly told whatever part of me that is hanging on to this negative misery to (pardon my language) shut the fuck up.

I got up, made myself a coffee. Cause really? My mind needs a good thrashing. I came to the computer. I put on my tunes, opened Photoshop, and said. "Okay. Go."

I didn't have anything in mind. I just put my hand on the mouse, selected a color and started doodling. And the above painting was born. Hmm. Does it look like it came from the mind of a deranged woman? Because, truly, I feel deranged. It's as if I'm swinging between the vines of mood, like a deranged monkey. No! I'm getting off this ride!

I am not depressed. In fact, right now, I am bopping up and down to music in my seat. So where did all that self-destruction come from? Seriously. Know any good therapists?

I refuse to let this self-defeatist attitude to get the better of me. Did you hear me? I REFUSE! :)

Yeah, yeah. I'm sure if any one of us sat down and itemized all the things that are wrong with our lives, we would sink into the mire of sadness. But why? What is the point of that? Just an emotional masochism that I refuse to give into.

I consider this an emotional detox. I am infusing myself with positivity and light, and an intravenous of life. It makes sense that all this crap would surface, on its way out. So, really. Things have changed in Genieland. In the past, I would give into this self-deprecation and wallow the whole day in sadness.

Not now. No sirree Bob! I nodded at it as it made its way out. Bye bye. I'm dancing. :)

Just dance. :)

Alliance Creative

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It's funny how things seem to fall into place when you finally know what it is you really want and where you really want to go.

Today through Jamie's wonderful book club of 12 Secrets , we are asked to ponder on our Alliances, our Power Teams, real or projected.

I am in the process of creating a Power Team for a project I am envisioning. I call it Alliance Creative. It's a project that will infuse new life into the education system for administrators, teachers and students alike.

I strongly believe that the major stumbling blocks to progress are lack of creativity, an inability to think outside the box, and a reluctance to take chances. Once those obstacles are set aside, and this wonderfully empowering energy is released, the sky is the limit.

What does this dream team consist of?

Women and men who are committed to their own creativity. People who love to inspire others in the pursuit of their "dreams" without judgement or imposition, but with encouragement and acceptance. People who smile in the face of resistance, for there will be lots of it, and use its momentum to create change. People who can voice their opinions and be able to meld them with that of others to create a unified whole.

I picture a light-filled room with this Alliance Creative gathered. Our tools are big blank sheets and crayons, as we map the vision of the future. A future unfettered by past practices, and "this is the way we have always done things" or "when I was in school". A future that takes the technology offered us, and all the valuable non-technological tools of the past, and molds a new vision of what learning is.

The color of this future is not based on the shade of the skin, but the nuance of the palate. The shape of the future is not one dictated by Vogue but one engendered from the vortex of incredible power that lies within each and every one of us.

Alliance Creative is not driven by ego, or the need for fame and fortune, but my the altruistic need to fill this world with people in touch with their creativity, happy with their lives, and committed to the creativity and happiness of others.

This might sound like science fiction, but all the great science fiction authors predicted the future accurately. It begins with my vision, but the vision will be complete after Alliance Creative gets together the first time, and begins the drafting the blueprints.

Who will take the call? I don't know, but I am convinced it will be splendid.

Because, change happens one step at a time. :)

Hooky

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Today, I'm playing hooky! Shhh! Don't tell! :)

Mental health days are probably the best preventative medicine. Studies would show, if there are any, that productivity increases when employees take a day of rest at least once a month. Everyone needs time away to refresh, regenerate, destress. A day away from idiocy, is a great day indeed.

Speaking of idiocy...

Today, I ask for the power of affirmation, and I need your help. The Principals and their Vices found out on Monday what their placements for next year will be. I need a collective prayer to go out into the Universe, to release us from the tyranny and incompetence of this Administrative Team. I need the Power of Positive Thinking to bring to our school a compassionate, competent, creative Principal to fix the shambles of our morale. Someone who has a vision and balls. I know we can all do it. :) Will you send out a prayer, please? :)

Back to my hooky. :)

Today, I will be going up to Newmarket (an hour drive) with a friend to visit our other friend who has just had a cute little baby girl! I am excited! What a great way to spend the day off!

Yesterday, I went a little overboard in the spending but I don't regret it! I decided to create a basket of goodies for the mom, the baby and the big sister. I bought two cute little outfits (okay, seriously, they are CUTE!) and a pink plushy rabbit for Mia(the baby), pampering lotions, bath salts and chocolate for the mom, and a High School Musical make-up and hair kit for the older sister. I put them all together in a nice basket with pink ribbons, and cellophane. It was so much fun! I feel like Genie Claus :)

The best thing about playing hooky is that you're feeling well, and you are doing fun things while everyone is working. Isn't that delicious? When was the last time you played hooky? I highly recommend it.

I'm still in my pajamas, sipping my coffee and blogging when I should be at work! Fantastic! It doesn't take much to make me happy. Hehe.

And the good news continue. I have been looking for a Naturopath and/or Acupuncturist to help me with weight loss. I have ballooned despite the fact that I have been exercising and watching what I eat. I lost not even an ounce. So there is something definitely wrong. And I don't like doctors because all they do is throw medication at you, even before determining the issue.

Anyway, a friend of mine went to this amazing Naturopath and is highly recommending him. So I will be going probably on the weekend. I have a feeling this is it! Liberation is at hand!


The sun is shining. The temperatures are rising. And positive change is coming. Hallelujah!

I hope your day is as fantastic! Blessed be :)

Love the World

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Today our Wizardess of Wishes, the ever inspiring Jamie asks us
"Who do you wish to send some love?"

Firstly I send out my love and prayers to two blog friends:
Robyn, her brother and family.
June, her son and family.
Send a little prayer for each of them please. May they get the best news possible.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I wish to send love out to the world. May it be healthy and peaceful and abundant.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I send love to all the people suffering from the ravages of war, no matter what their political or religious alliance.

I send out love to all the children who are suffering physical or emotional turmoil because of the mistakes of adults.

I send out love to everyone who is feeling alone and abandoned.

I send love to the animals on this planet who have been our companions from the start.

I send out love to the moon and the sun for nurturing and guiding us.

I send love out to the Universal Divine for the precious gift of life and soul.

I send love to each and every one of you. May you be healthy, happy and abundantly fulfilled.

I send love out to my soul's mate wherever he may be. Breakfast will be ready in half an hour :)

Blessed be :)

Abstracted

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So, I woke up at an indecent hour again today. I am wondering if this is going to be a new pattern in my life; if so, I am not liking it!

I was going to go over a list if things that might be bothering me and keeping me from having a good rest, but I didn't have the energy this morning. Instead, I painted the above in PS. Close to two hours and 12 layers later, I was satisfied with the result. I was playing with textures and colors and their relationship with each other, making some layers bolder than others. I have to say the colors make me happy. They are saturated goodness. I need color in my life right now, because when I look out the window at the greyness and haggard snow, I want to scream. :)

What I really need is a vacation to one of the places I mentioned a few posts down. Being a teacher, I am enslaved by the school calendar and I don't have the option to take a week or two when I need to. Before anyone even says that I should not complain because I get two months off in the summer, let me emphatically say, I am not crazy with two months off in the summer. It doesn't suit my lifestyle, and I am not even sure it suits many people's anymore.

It's an antiquated system based on a predominantly agricultural society. It's outdated. Working parents, who are not teachers and who cannot afford to take that chunk of time off, are stuck. They have to make arrangements for wads of cash usually, to make sure their kids are taken care of. Kids lose the plot over such a long period without schooling, and practically have to be retrained every September. It just doesn't make any sense.

It's pointless to discuss this I know, because changing the education system is harder than putting an elephant in a tutu and training him to do a pirouette.

I don't even have the cash to go on a trip right now. But soon...

I got an offer to write an educational text. That's good news, right? I guess. I'm not jumping for joy really. It will be extra money, which I need, but I feel like writing a textbook about as much as filling my mouth with root canals. :)

I should be grateful I am getting this opportunity. Right? And make the best of it. Right? It's an honor. Right?

Okay.

Yipee! (Fake it until you make it...)

I'm rambling. I know. I'm tired, and my alarm with be going off soon. Maybe I should take a nap. But I want to visit your blogs and say "hi!" especially after the disappearing followers fiasco! Yeesh. :)

I hope your day is a splendid one, and that all the elephants in your lives dance like sugar plum fairies. :)

Lost Followers? Oh No, You Didn't!

It came to my attention that I stopped following some of my dear blogs! I checked and found I was off everyone's follow list!

So I checked into things and I found this info!

I solved it by going into my Dashboard. On my follow list. I clicked Manage, and found I was "Anonymous" on all the blogs! I changed all of them to "Public". Now I am back!

So you didn't lose your followers. They are just tinkering with things at blogger.

Word

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Just when you had given up
thrown down that glove
had said “Enough!”

Just when one more
well meaning soul
says, “Time will tell."
You quell the urge
to tell them to
“Back off!”

You fall under a spell.
Threads that connect
Vein to blood
Heart to soul
Mind to laughter.

It’s an interstellar matter.

You yourself
would have scoffed
at those words.
so trite.

Laugh to yourself
and think,
“Well now who’s
right?”

And watch
your very feet
take flight

to parts
well-known
in dreams.

When once
you cried
alone
at night
because you
did not
believe.

The world
retrieves

the one
who takes
those tears
that water
your heart

and drinks them.

Sinks them
in the earth

a well of love
that grows
with them
to
new life.

Face it.

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Today is Sunday, a special day for many. They go to church or have family rituals, or celebrate Sacred Sunday. Sunday has always been a day of rest and reflection for me. My family were not church goers, and after having read many spiritual and religious texts, I decided I was not one for group rituals. And that's okay. :)

My morning Sunday ritual involves a cooked, healthy breakfast and Coronation Street. There is something very comforting about it, for me.

This morning, I changed things up a little. I played music and danced. I painted. I allowed thoughts to meander in and out of my consciousness, mulling over some, letting others go. While I was doing that, I painted the above in PS. It's a loose self-portrait. A face I have often drawn or sketched or painted. It's me, inside. It's the face I see sometimes in the mirror, when I am at peace with myself.

I am at peace with myself.

And the reflections continue.

I found myself thinking a lot about a couple of blog friends with whom I had become attached in a spiritual way, whose perspectives and journeys touched my heart and soul. They have since deleted their blogs, for good reasons of their own. But I miss them. I had to finally face it, and delete their blogs off my roll. That saddened me a bit. I won't lie. It's selfish. I know their reasons, both personal and compelling, are necessary for their growth and health; but I often wonder how they are. I send them my wishes of renewed health and energy, and wish them well.

It's awe-inspiring how close I have become to the wonderful people I have met through the blogosphere. How close I have come to you, and how invested I have become in your lives and your journey. You have come to mean a lot to me. You are an ever growing circle of love and light, even at times of struggle and pain. We have become a Tribe, and that is why when some leave to go on their Hero Quests, it leaves a little bit of a vacuum, like an empty seat at the table.

But that seat will always be waiting, when you are ready, when they are ready. There will always be a plate of love and acceptance.

What all this rumination is leading to is my absolute gratitude at your existence and how it has made my life better, brighter, more focused. Thank you :)

One day, I will individually tell you what you each mean to me, but for now, I send you blessings on this Sunday with the hope that you are well, healthy, happy and fully engaged in life. :)

Picnic Party!

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Today I invite all of you to a
Picnic!

Bring something fun with you!

• a favorite song that makes your body groove
• a delicious dish that makes your mouth water
• a marvelous link that makes your mind go AH!
• a great book that transports you to another realm
• an inspiring person who makes your soul do the happy dance
• an act of kindness that brings joy to the heart
• a funny joke that fills your lungs with laughter
• a fascinating video that makes your mind juices flow
• a piece of art that puts you in a reverie
• a thought that flows into your blood

And Share it with US!

Let's celebrate!

Whether it's hot or cold outside. Sunny or snowing. Let's take a moment and gather together and share our blessings, in a wonderful creative picnic.

I've got some bubbly and brownies.

And THIS!

Blessed BE! :)

No Place Like Home

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Today through Jamie's book club exploration of 12 Secret of Creative Women we are asked to explore and introduce our guides.

Before I go into the history of my guides, I have to acknowledge the most important guidance I am getting right now. And that is each and every one of YOU! Your stories, your explorations, your processes, your insights, your art has both inspired and light-ened my life in so many ways. Through your comments you have given selflessly of your support, encouragement and guidance; and for all this I am truly and deeply grateful.

Guidance often is this subtle whispering in our heads. It might wake us in the middle of the night with its constant nattering until we yield. Our spirit guides, our higher selves, our connections to the Universal whole are our constant companions.

When we are children, we are greatly attached and in tune with those. They speak to us more clearly before the cacophony of this world drowns them out. Before we are told there is no such thing as "imaginary friends". Before the supercilious voice of society starts to mock us and dictate our every move, we are in touch with that "magic" that guides us and comforts us. Then we walk around missing something greatly without knowing what, searching for something to replace it. Religion, philosophy, amusement, anything. But that void cannot be filled, because it is not there.

My guides never left me. I lost the ability to hear them. I lost my way. Like Dorothy, I was swept up by the whirlwind of this life and all its impositions and transported into a place that held enchantment and treachery. I cascaded in my quest to find the answers through religions, through books like I Ching, through tools like Tarot, through the Zen voices in the trees. And they have been helpful and trustworthy companions. They have been loyal guides who have taken me to other sources, and other theories. Yet, there was something inside me that cried.

Like Dorothy, I had the answer in me the whole time. The sparkling crystal-red shoes inside me, who have been pushing me to hear again. To see again. To feel again. My true guides. The ones who came with me into this world, and the ones who will help me leave it.

With our reunion, I have lost fear. I have lost that deep ache, that inconsolable sadness, that feeling of hopeless desperation. They have been replaced with a joy for every magical moment on this earth, a wisdom to accept the lessons this life has to teach me, and to let go of the pain, a humbling of my ego that was fed by this temporal world to believe it knows everything.

All these treasures lie inside of me, and beyond me but connected by the umbilical cord of the soul. The spirit connection to the mother Universe who speaks to us through wind, and water, through animals and crackling fire.

These are the treasures that lie inside of you. May you find them, and if you have found them, may you hold onto to them tightly and cherish them.

Because.

There is no place like home.


Blessed be :)

Wishes Go and Never Fear to Tread

I might be a day late but I am not a wish short!

Our Amazing Weaver of Wishes Jamie prompts us with the question "Where do you wish to go?"

I got stars in my eyes when I read this. Oh how delicious! Where do I not wish to go? So many places to choose from. So many travels to embark on!

1. I wish to go to Barcelona and luxuriate in the wonder that is Gaudi. The magic realism that infuses his architecture absolutely takes my breath away. I want to grab a glass of full-bodied red, and gaze and gaze and gaze.



2. I wish to go to China and walk upon its Great Wall, marveling at what it took to erect it, wondering who walked there before and what dreams they had.




3. I wish to go to my beloved Tuscany, the place where my dreams lie. I want to stroll through its fields, filled with sunflowers, and finally live my dream.




4. And since, I will be in the neighborhood, I wish to visit Florence with all her classic beauty and the treasures she holds. I want to be in her seductive presence.



5. I wish to travel to Japan and walk among it's cherry blossoms and mountains, soaking up their ancient wisdom and beauty.



6. I wish to sail along the fjords, and let my soul soar among them, let my eyes travel down its curvaceous course.



7. Finally, but not lastly, I wish to go to the place of my roots, and travel on the path of my ancestors, breathe their air, love their land, smile their dreams.




This wishing puts me in a happy reverie. A flying dream that carries me on its wings, fulfilled. :)

May all your wishes come true. :)

No Non-Sense

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The above is a digital painting/collage I made in PS. The backdrop has approximately 12 layers that I painted, and then I collaged the photo of the woman, like she is looking out the window. She is relaxed, yet there also seems to be a no-nonsense attitude about her.

I like that.

No nonsense.

My recent work with myself using Soul Coaching, and to a smaller extent 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women, has opened a new window in my life. I sit at it and gaze at the world from a different vantage point. Some things that used to get to me, make me smile now, because I observe them, removed from their impact. This is huge.

Some examples?

I walked into work yesterday, and I overheard a discussion between one of the Vice Principals and the Office Manager, and the gist of their conversation was very insulting and condescending towards teachers. In the past, that would have enraged me. I hate it when people demean each other. But this time, I was amused at them.

People who think they know it all are probably among the most naive. Nobody can know it all. We can't even know if what we know is even right. We perceive things as we know them, but are we perceiving correctly? Yes, that's right. I became philosophical instead of being embroiled. When I went upstairs to our office, I shared my amusement with others.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We had a meeting after school with the Administrators and the Heads of the Departments. Those meetings usually swing from tediousness to utter frustration. One of the Vice Principals announced that by June all the marks will be uploaded electronically, using a program called Mark Book. I asked if they are requiring that everyone use Mark Book to calculate their marks.

It was a simple yes or no question.

Of course, I didn't get such a simple answer. We got a lecture on why this program is God's gift to teachers; and sure we can just use it to upload but why take on that extra "layer" of work when this program is so spectacular; and then we got a long-winded analogy about knee problems that made no sense, and whose message was pretty much" some teachers are so dumb, they don't know a computer from a juicer". When they were done, I calmly asked, "So the answer to my question is...?"

Well that floored them. The Principal finally said. "Yes, the program can be used only to upload marks." There. That wasn't so difficult, was it?

Again I was really amused at their agendas. I personally am pretty savvy with computers and computer programs; and this program does not save time; nor does it calculate marks in the way I need them to, and am required to by the Ministry.

People's agendas are like pieces of toilet paper trailing behind them on their shoe. They are embarrassed when it is pointed out, because they hate others to know they have bodily functions. Or that they are full of shit. Whichever. It's funny. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My third and final example of the clarity that I have gained relates to people with "good intentions". You know those people. They dole out unsolicited advice like they have no issues in their lives, and they know all the nuances of what makes you. Kind of like they made you. So they diagnose you, and dissect you, and analyze you like they are the reincarnation of Freud.

They would really get under my skin. I hate being talked to like I am five years old. I don't even talk to five year olds that way. It would piss me off. I would reply in my head with, "Bitch please. Freud is dead and he has been debunked. Mind your own yard."

I still think that. I haven't become the Dalai Lama or some incarnation of a Saint. I have a potty mouth and mind. And my attitude is still in tact, thank you very much. The difference is, I don't get angry. I sort of smile and nod, and not listen to a word they are saying. Why waste my mental acuity on nonsense?

And there we have it.

Nonsense. The world is full of it. It gets expectorated through people's mouths, their agendas, the media. We are swimming in it. We can fight the current, and point out each and every incident like it's of dire consequence; or we can just sit on the shore under an umbrella and point and laugh.

I will point and laugh.

Leap!

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Every day is a leap into full potential. Each day seems more settled. More rounded. More... well more.

It's so wonderful not to apologize for who I am. Not to say "I know, but if". It's simply beyond liberating. It is a new life. A new exploration. A new lens. A new outlook.

This might seem elementary and obvious, but I spent a good part of my life, standing beside myself, apologizing for what I have said, or what I believe, or how I feel. Like a parent of a two year old, worrying that her child's actions reflects bad parenting, I would side with my accusers. And my accusers are simply people. People with different views of what is right and what is appropriate.

What makes them the experts? What makes them right? And not me?

Nothing.

Not a single thing.

Am I always right? Hell, no. I make mistakes. I am human. But they are my mistakes and not opportunities to be crucified at the temple of an other's judgement. And certainly not mistakes that warrant me being the High Priestess at my own execution.

I did that. But no more.

Now I leap.

I look at mistakes and say "Oops! I will do better next time. Or the time after that."

And I am doing better. I am leaping off the ground, away from my lead feet, and soaring into the realm of infinite possibility.

Because anything is possible.

And the view from above. Is. Spectacular.

Day of Love

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This is my entry for Mother Henna's Celebration of the heArt.

Arms open wide
Love the world
Heart full inside
Love yourself.
Love strangers
Love the strange
Open the love up
to it's full range.

Let love stream out
Let it stream in
Live the dream
of pure loving
Love isn't
fantasy
Love is real
Love can build up
Love can heal

Today is Love day
So open up
let all the love
fill your cup.

Valentine's has often been one of those holidays that used to remind me of things I didn't have. When I had a significant other, it was that he didn't remember or wasn't romantic enough; when I was alone, it would bring my loneliness sharply into focus.

Then something along the way changed. I can't pinpoint it to one thing. I started loving myself more. Appreciating life in general and all my blessings. I opened my eyes to the love I did have in my life, and the love I could give.

Valentine's is not just about getting flowers, a Hallmark card, and diamonds. It's about all the love in the world. For children and animals, for the earth itself, for life, for the Universe, for everyone who has suffered loss or illness.

Love is a gift of intention. The intention to send out a selfless part of ourselves and reach out without expectation and share it. Love is goodness.

That is the realization that liberated me from self-pity and doldrums.

So tonight, I am making myself a lovely dinner and I am watching my favorite romantic movies. I bought myself the good kind of chocolate, and I will light my candles, and be thankful for love.

I send my ♥ out to each and every one of you. May you be healthy and happy and know without a shadow of a doubt, that no matter what, you are loved!

Blessed be :)

Gremlin Stomp

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I'm loving this week of 12 Secrets as Jamie leads us in our ongoing fight against Gremlins!

This is right up my alley, as I don my steel-toed boots and start stomping away!

Gremlins you say?

Honey! Gremlins are coming out of the woodwork inside and out! Inside and out! So let the games begin.

Meet the Pink Gremlin: She is so soft and sweet and cuddly, but from her scarlet lips come the poison zingers. "Are you sure you can do this?" "Do you think maybe you are being a bit too strong?" "People don't like assertive women, maybe you should tone it down a bit, sweetie."

To this gremlin, I say. "Yes, I can do this! Yes, I am strong and assertive! It took me long enough to be this way, so take your pink sweetness and shove along!"

Meet the Sunny Gremlin: He is a happy fellow, all smiles and sunshine with a dark underbelly that will trip you up. He likes to deliver one-line jokes at your expense. And he laughs and laughs and laughs.

I stuff a nice big cloth in his pie hole and skip along.

Meet the Green Gremlin: He is so full of bile and jealousy, and is determined to thwart you at every turn. He likes to make you second guess yourself. Criticizes your every move. He flat out refuses to cooperate and when you confront him, he cries. Like a baby. Ah, the old guilt card!

Stomp!
Refuse to feel guilt for your convictions, and your successes. Plow over the little bastard and keep going. He lacks the wherewithal to do anything but spew toxins.
Stomp don't ingest!

Meet the Blue Gremlin: She likes to appear friendly and comforting. She is always present when you are feeling low, determined to serve you tea and depression. Comforting you with words like. "You can't win all the time." "You couldn't really do it anyway." "Nobody loves you but me." "Success isn't for everyone."

I shove the tea and tissues right back at her, and declare, "Go away! I can win, even when I seem not to, because I gain something from every experience, be-otch! I can do anything I choose to, and I love me, no matter what! Be gone!"

Meet the Red Gremlin: She is hot with her fury and bubbles over with rage. Rage at the world, anger with everything and everyone in it. Hatred for you if you do not join her. She spurs you on with her little forked tongue. "How dare they do that to you!" "Who do you think you are fooling?" "Shut up, no one is listening, and no one cares!"

The best antidote for this gremlin is smiling. A huge, lovely smile plastered on your face, even if you have to do it over gritted teeth. Smile, baby, smile. And she will dissolve in a fiery puddle of her own stewing.

Do you recognize these gremlins? They multiply and have cousins that echo inside of you. They like to make us into their puppets, but no, they are full of hot air. The only power they have is the one we give them. They are meaningless, unhappy little critters who like company in their misery. Do not give it to them!

Laugh!
Rejoice!
Play!
Paint!
Draw!
Dance!
Who cares if it's not perfect? Do it for the sheer delight of it!
Hop into rain puddles!
Skip along singing a tune of your choosing even if it is off key. Even if no one else is singing!

And they will dissolve.
They will flee holding their ears in terror, because their little nasty tricks did not work!

This I know is true.

Blessed be! :)

Focus

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I painted this piece to represent the growth that is coming our way. Spring is around the corner, and I am so looking forward to it. I am looking forward to the way the air seems so full of promise. The budding flowers. The trees sprouting their baby pods that will grow into leaves. The growing light.

I am looking forward to spring cleaning, and preparing the garden for its face lift. I am looking forward to rearranging my home. I am looking forward to making some minor changes that will improve my home.

I am looking forward to taking walks, and seeing smiles on people's faces.

I am looking forward to sitting in a park or on a patio and drafting the blueprints of my future: my Tarot deck, my proposal to the Board, my pop-up book for adults.

I am looking forward to greeting my friend's little one into the world for the first time. I am looking forward to seeing this world through his eyes.

I am looking forward to renewal.

I had an epiphany last night. This relates to my relationship to myself. All these years, I have been cataloging in my mind what is wrong with me, and what I need to improve. That's a good thing, right?

Well, no. It's wrong. It's had me focusing on what I lack. I lack perfection. So do we all. But why constantly focus on it? Why constantly live with the constant "if only" in my life? I would be beautiful if only I would lose weight. I would be happy if only I could publish a book. I would be fulfilled if only I had a mate. I would have so much fun if only I had more money.

That's just the wrong lens to be staring out of. I am adjusting my lens. That is what the above painting also represents. It represents a shift in focus.

I have decided to focus on my strengths and talents. On what makes me beautiful, happy, complete, productive. On what makes me healthy, vital and strong. On what fulfills me and nurtures me. On what puts a smile on my face and a song in my heart. On what makes me unique and necessary in this world.

That's what I will focus on. What will you focus on? :)

Speaking on focus. Judi made this amazing award, and gave me the incredible honor of bestowing it on me. If you have not visited Judi's blog, you are in for a huge treat! Her humor and wisdom, her perspective and understanding are so unique and refreshing!



Thank you Judi! You are precious to me! :)

If you feel like a cup, grab it and run! :)

Perspectives

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My fascination with trees continues with this painting I made in Photoshop last night. I have been trying to work with perspective and light. A different view, another outlook. Looking up instead of out or in.

I am working on perspective in my life as well. Trying to step away and give myself a different view while so many things mull in my head.

Like my art. I know at some point, I need to pick up a brush and start painting on canvas or paper. But sometimes, I feel this subtle pressure, and it's not coming from within. I know some people believe that graphic arts are not as worthy or as "artistic" as conventional art. There seems to be a subterranean hierarchy in the art world. Some artists seem to be more worthy of attention and praise than others. I don't subscribe to that, as I have written at length what art is to me. Yet, I must be honest and say it troubles me at times. It troubles me because there is yet another hurdle I must overcome, or ignore. The choice is mine.

I love painting digitally, for now. It's a training ground for me. It allows me a freedom that manual art doesn't. It allows me the containment I need at the moment to gain confidence in my vision and technique. In my artistic voice. And if some people believe that this art is not worthy of being framed and hung on a wall, then that is their choice. No?

That's not going to change my relationship with my process. And part of my process is blogging about it.

I have been participating in a a lot of blogging initiatives, and they feed my mind and art. I am engaged by everyone's perspectives, and particularly fascinated when that perspective seems to echo throughout the blogosphere. There is movement, acceptance, and support. Some give of it freely to others. Others are concerned with their own. Still others give it only to some. That is all perfectly valid. Each person gives what he or she can or wants to. I like visiting people's blog homes, and sitting down to enjoy their success, give support or presence for their agonies, voice my thoughts on their concerns. This is part of being in a community, which this very much is to me. A tribe, a support group, a family.

That is why I thank everyone so much. You do not know how much your comments mean to me whether they are one word or paragraphs. Whether they are daily or occasional. I welcome them with open mind and heart because I know they are made with the best intentions. And they give me perspective. A new look inside from outside.

I have written at length about my job s a teacher. I am so blessed to love my job, because I believe it is a very important job. My students' future rides on what I am able to impart to them; how I give them the opportunity to grow intellectually and creatively in a safe environment; how I expose them to different perspectives and broaden their own. I sometimes have to overcome barriers of attitude, or trauma, or walls of bigotry, or chasms of language. But I do not give up, because I think it is important; because I think they are important.

I also have to deal with a lot of frustrations, and they almost never come from the kids. Teens will always have that innate angst that bubbles out sometimes in very bizarre ways. I can deal with that. It's the adults who perturb me. Adults who are also in charge of these kids' futures; adults who refuse change or a different perspective; adults who dig their heals in their right to be right, so much so that they become enormous obstacles to everyone's sanity and growth.

Connie over at Dirty Footprints wrote a post about the possibility that the Arts program will be cut from schools.

This is exactly what I am talking about. Instead of cutting a "non-essential" course, as they see it, they need to look at it from a different perspective: the absolute necessity of the Arts not only for students, but for teachers as well.

We have been getting a lot of Professional Development sessions this year, trying to encourage teachers to use more "high yield" strategies. Meaning teachers are boring kids to death.

There are two sides of this coin. Some kids are over-entertained. It's hard to compete with the lure of digital fun and excitement. I don't come with a PVR (TiVo) and I can't be shuffled to play a different tune, but I do manage to keep my students engaged and learning. Why? Because my lessons are varied and creative. Why? Because I am creative.

Then there is the other side. There are teachers who have been teaching the same lesson, the same way for years and years. I don't know how they do it. To me that's water torture. But really, have they been taught differently? Have they been given the true opportunity to try something different? They have been told to, but what good is that?

You can't ask a bear to fly without giving it wings.

Teachers need to be allowed and encouraged to explore their own creativity through workshops, not be sat in a room told that their lessons are not "high yield" enough. Sure, you can bake a cake with a recipe, but it will only be a great cake if you own the recipe. If you love the recipe and the art of making a cake. The Board and the Administration like to dole out recipes without providing kitchens or utensils or ingredients. They say their teachers are bad bakers without giving them the opportunity to experiment with their own baking skills.

That's because the very people who say that teachers can't think outside the box, are firmly entrenched in boxes themselves.

So I am baking an idea. A proposal that I will take to the Board. It might blow their lids, but if they go for it, it will really address the issue not put a little band aid on a gaping wound.

It's time to look up, see things from a different perspective. Enjoy the light playing with the leaves and bursting through the trees. And take one huge, refreshing gulp of breath.

Update: I totally forgot it was Jamie's Wishcasting Wednesday! Doh! But this post fits right in. I wish for my idea to take flight and change the face of education! There! Weee!

Snowy Dreams

Stellar Jamie, the Princess of Potential, the Empress of Engagement, the Goddess of Gratitude, is once again hosting the Full Moon Dreamboard!

And of course I'm playing!

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This full moon is about the heralding of spring and new growth. It is about the melting snow and all the life-giving goodness that lies underneath, waiting to sprout into new promise.
So this Full Moon:
I am dreaming of and manifesting LOVE!

I love each and every one of you and all your blogs that are abundant with inspiration, reflection, creativity, growth and love.

I love my friends who have been there for me, one way or another.

I love my Stinky, who has been my most loyal companion.

I love myself through thick or thin, down or up, inspired or low, happy or sad.

I love this earth, the waters, the trees, the air, the valleys, the clouds, the deserts, the snow, the rain, the sun, the grass, the flowers, the critters big and small.

I love the young. I love my goddaughter, little children, and babies, my students, those who need love and caring and guidance.

I love life, for it has blessed me with health and home, experience and wisdom, love and loss, discovery and purpose, freedom and light.

I love music for all the wonder and happiness it has brought me.

I love art for its soulful expression and the miracles it contains.

I love the Universe and all its enchantment!

I am sending love to all those who are suffering loss in Australia.

This full moon, I manifest the romantic, soulful, authentic, exciting, fulfilling, sexy, inspiring love of my mate whoever he may be. Hurry up already! :)

What do you wish to manifest this month?

Inspirational Lemonade Photo Awards

Greetings and Salutations!

I don't know how or why, but I have a wicked hangover and I have not had a drop of alcohol or any recreational drugs. Plus my shoulders are stiffer than a Driving Tester's face.

The good news is: the sun is shining, some of the snow has melted and it's not bone chilling outside!

Today I will take some time to share the bountiful blog love that has come my way in the past few days. It's tag and award time!

Marianne tagged me with the Lemonade award. Thank you Marianne! Her lovely blog is chock full of amazing journal pages, art work, collages and observations. Please take some time and give her some blog ♥!

The rules are pretty standard for this award. This award is about Great Attitude and Gratitude! I have not been to any blog that doesn't have these amazing qualities. On days when I am feeling low, all I have to do is visit any one of your blogs and find my spirits lift and stir. Thank you sweet people!

I'm supposed to tag 10 people, but I like 9 better, so here we go :) This is some blog love and acknowledgment. It is not an obligation. You don't have to do anything with this except smile and know you are loved and appreciated! :)

1. Judi at Mindmists whose humour and down-to-earth attitude never ceases to put a smile on my face and a song in my heart. :)

2. Rebecca at Just a Thought whose incredible writing makes my skin and blood undulate with thrills! :)

3. Ms Scorpio at Inevitable Regeneration whose blogs always make me smile, and ponder, and laugh out loud. :)

4. BohoMama at Words from a Bohemian Mom is a free spirit whose perspective is solidly unique, and uniquely solid! :)

5. Jane at Painted House 52 whose strong voice and attitude come shining through on her blog. :)

6. iGodess at iGodess whose rockalicious funkadelity will shazam you! :)

7. Tori at Tori's Path whose energy and vivaciousness are deliciously contagious! :)

8. Tracy at Seaside Enchantment whose gratitude lists make my soul soar! :)

9. Tabby at I Choose Bliss whose heart can encompass the world and uplifts every soul that visits her blog! :)

I had much more of these to hand out, but I would be here for days posting. :) I will get all the rest of the lovelies next time :)

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The wonderful Pamela from A Touch of Inspiration awarded me with this beauty.

Pamela is a wonderful inspiring and supportive person whose blog is full of positive light and wonderful insight. Please take some time and give her some blog ♥!

I will tag the following awesome art blogs, but as with the previous, there is no obligation to do anything with this award other than accept it as a gesture of love and admiration! :)

1. Steven Emery at Color Sweet Tooth whose spectacular art and thoughtful process is deeply engaging and illuminating. :)

2. Linda at Vulture Peak Muse whose magical art and soulful process makes me get lost in fascinating contemplation. :)

3. Robyn at Tales of Inglewood whose photographs, her masterpiece of a garden, and her musings never cease to inspire me. :)

4. Caroline at NoWordz whose photography puts me in a dream state of Zen - beautifully peaceful and full. :)

5. Serena at Serena Lewis whose photography, art, and perspective are more refreshing than a spring day! :)

6. Kara at Mother Henna whose crystal insights, her beautiful art, and inspiring challenges uplift me to no end! :)

7. Tammie Lee at Spirithelpers whose photography and poetry is a blissful wedding of beauty and meditation! :)

8. Rowena at Warrior Girl whose art, The Flying Girl series, and her writing is deeply evocative and inspiring! :)


This award comes with the activity of naming 7 things you love.

1. Life.
2. Creativity.
3. Stinky (my cat)
4. Lovely people including all of YOU!
5. The ocean and all bodies of water
6. Mellow weather
7. Clouds

I have about 100,000 more, or so, things I love but I will stop here :)

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Last but not least, I was tagged both by June at Arty Retreat whose amazing Art and art Challenges are fun and fascinating, not to mention, June is an awesome person; and Peppylady at Peppylady Almost Perfect World whose outlook and lovely crafts are a feast for the soul. Thank you ladies! Please take some time and give them some blog ♥!

This is a phototag and I have two different sets of instructions: One is to find the 6th pic in the 6th folder and the other is the 4th in the 4th, so I will split the difference! Here is the 5th pic in my 5th folder... hehe I am supposed to tag others, but I am leaving an open tag to anyone who wants to play! :)

This is from my house and homes folder of images. Isn't this room absolutely dreamy? Look at the view and the grand piano. I can see myself spending many a blissful day and night there! How about you?

Spotlight in

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As we progress through 12 Secrets , the magnificent Jamie's latest book blog club, we are asked to focus not only on self but on support of others' creativity.

I have never had a problem being, sometimes, a one-woman cheering squad for people. I try to always give people a hand, a shoulder, an ear, or encouragement, ideas, advice when asked, or just a silent presence when needed. I am a believer in "anything is possible", and a crusader of "dreams come true" to the Nth degree.

For others.

Increasingly, it has become clearer that I need to be that for myself as well.

For me, it's not a matter of time, but of attitude. Letting go of the guilt associated with putting myself first when I need to. Letting go of this ingrained belief that I am not worthy of praise, or support, or unconditional love. Trying to figure out where that attitude came from is, for me, pointless. I don't like wallowing in the past. It's time to forge ahead.

I need to be my own advocate. My own cheering squad. I need to be a silent presence for my soul to speak. And if I do it badly, I need to be there for myself, and say "It's okay honey. You will get it right next time."

I have always been a private person. I have not shared of myself to my deepest core, and I have always been reluctant to show my art. Look at me now. Blogging away the very marrow of my soul that people, most of whom I have not met before, might read. Displaying my art, being vulnerable, showing what I am doing, whether it is good or not. I am proud of myself for that. This is a huge step for me.

Now I need to learn one more thing:

To ask for help. To show my vulnerability. To tell others what I need. To reach out, and ask other people to be there for me.

I have always been fiercely independent. It comes from being an only child. It comes from this fiery nature that refuses to cry "Give!" It comes from the core of my personality.

Yet, it is this very independence that causes people to believe that I am okay, that I don't need support, or a friendly phone call, or an invitation to coffee, or a smile of encouragement.

I need those things too. And I am asking for them.

What is it that you have been denying yourself? How will you get it?

Blessed be my friends :)

Purple Musings

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Today I feel purple, and that's a good thing. There is something about this color and all its nuances that infuses me with a spectrum of emotions from a peaceful contentment to a deep excitement.

Its symbolic meanings range from royalty, wealth and ambition, to wisdom, dignity, independence, and creativity, to spirituality, mystery, and magic. (According to color-wheel-pro.com) In other words it's chock full of goodies!

It was Cleopatra's favorite color, and that fits my Greek-Egyptian roots. She was one of the most kick-ass women in history. Ruler of one of the most powerful countries at the time, she was a Goddess and the last Hellenistic Pharaoh of Ancient Egypt. She dropped all association with her younger brother Ptolemy and became sole ruler of Egypt, even going as far as printing only her face on their coins! Never before did a female Pharaoh shrug off male superiority, before her. She was a Woman of Consequence, who inspired love and devotion as well as political allegiance in two of the most prominent men in the Roman Empire - Caesar and Mark Anthony. How amazing was she? She even left the planet on her own terms.

In Feng Shui, purple is associated with the high vibrations of the 7th chakra and deep spirituality.

What else does purple inspire?

the Purple Heart
Purple Rain
the Purple Rain Protest (anti-apartheid movement)
the Purple Pleione (a fast spinning star)

What does purple inspire in you?

Then there is the tree.

Trees both ground me and raise my spirit to the heavens. Trees are the inspiration for legends and mythology. There is a language of trees. Each tree has its own personality and each type of tree its unique imprint in the world and beyond the world. In literature such as in Lord of the Rings and The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, trees are alive with parts of their own to play.

Trees inspire poetry and prose. There is nothing more delicious than sitting under a tree on a hot summer day, even taking a nap. Hugging a tree brings you into a deep communion with the earth and all its magic.

Trees are life. They oxygenate us and feed us. They shade us and protect us. They inspire our imaginations and souls. They provide homes for a myriad of animals, and support tree houses where children's fantasies take flight.

Trees are majestic and beautiful.

All this inspired my painting today. All this I gift to you on this day in February.

Blessed be :)

Fighting One Gremlin at a Time

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I have been busy fighting gremlins these past couple of days. It has been a hard battle, and I am tired, but I refuse to allow them to enter my blood stream and poison me.

Introducing the Gremlins:

• People who make passive aggressive statements aimed to criticize or belittle me at work
• People who have a sense of superiority and like to make others feel like they are the crud at the bottom of their shoe
• People who like to lord it over others with their being "right". Always.
• Remarks like "frivolous"and "ridiculous"
• Being blown off like what I am saying is of no consequence
• Being openly contradicted even though the person contradicting me doesn't have a grasp of the situation
• Being blamed for things that I did not do and have no control over
• Being made to feel that I have no sense of what is appropriate because I don't have children

I am surrounded by some very self-righteous, mean, petty, judgemental people. I have to lead these people. I have to circumvent them in order to do my job.

• I refuse to let them wipe out my self-respect.
• I refuse to be marginalized.
• I refuse to be placed in their designer boxes.
• I refuse to allow them to make me feel less than what I am.

They can all take a giant flying leap into oblivion. They are pimples on the skin of my profession. I will not deal with them except on a professional basis. And if I have to spend every single minute outside of class elsewhere, I will.

Will someone please tell me, what the hell is wrong with some people?

And in the spirit of dissolving the negative and embracing the positive: An Update!

Today is Wishcasting Wednesday and our illustrious wishtress extraordinaire, Jamie, has done it again! She has managed to turn my frown upside down! The prompt for today is: What do you wish to become?

See the comic above that I made? That's what I wish to become: I wish to become a superhero fighting the nasties, one gremlin at a time. Not just my own, but everyone's.

I want to don my spandex costume of imperviousness to the negative ninnies, and with my super abilities, zap their waves of BLAH into smithereens! I want to smother their dark powers with my smile and internal happiness, and share this with my fellow fighters so that we may eliminate all gremlins, external and internal. I want to smack their superiority and smugness with my cape, right in the face!

Will you join me on the mission? Will you join the J-Team (J for Joy) and help fight the nasties?

Words Form Images

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Happy Imbolc!

The month of February brings the celebration of words in Leah's Creative Every Day Challenge.
The wordster in me is jumping for joy. :)

I have always swam in the wonderful realm of words. They open up worlds of imagination and through them I can invite others to explore the dusty paths, the secret valleys, the majestic forests, and the enchanted towers of my dreams. With words, I meander through the rain-soaked streets, and forbidden alleys, the nooks and rusted crevices of cities. People with mechanical eyes, or wings for feet reside there. They speak in musical notes, in fecund tones, in a myriad of registers.

Crafting words like a gleeful elf, molding the images in my head, and bringing them to life, has always brought me joy. Through words I speak with ghosts of my past, and the flesh of my future. I transverse vistas, and time, and possibility.

Words feed my soul, and speak for it.

Words lift my spirit and shape it's colors.

Words reach out, sometimes with tender fingers, sometimes with enraged fists and push their way into the world through the birth passage of my imagination. Their first sounds are heavenly.

Words are like my Diva's voice, raised high in the register, shattering glass and preconceptions, floating to the heavens on their separate and distinct notes, carrying the audience with them.

Words are like mighty streams, and meandering rivers, fathomless oceans and meditative lakes, that quench the thirst of my soul. My soul's voice. The voice that would otherwise be mute.

Words make me a fearless explorer, a powerful swami, an ageless wanderer of the spirit.

Words are my manna. They feed my hunger. My soul's need to break the silence of myth and rear it with love and unspeakable beauty.

Words wail my pain and that of others. Others who have not spoken, who cannot speak, find solace and power in words. Mightier than the sword, words outlast those who gave birth to them, and live like perenial seeds in those who ingest them. Words live forever, as long as there are eyes to read, and ears to hear. Words are eternal life.

And these words I offer to you.

Blessed be :)

p.s. If you feel like playing, look at the previous post and have fun creating your very own Box of Creative Goodies! :)

Box of Creative Goodies

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1. Chronica, 2. Art Supplies, 3. Browsing Magazine and Sipping My Cardamom Tea..., 4. Faro de la Isla de Mouro II (Santander), 5. Tree House, 6. Purple Euphoria, 7. Summer Evening, 8. Art Deco Facade, 9. Twilight / Crepúsculo, 10. Ci sei dentro, 11. Lonely in golden place!, 12. Montmartre

Creative Goodies Meme

I decided to create this meme to get the creative juices going when I languish in the valleys of inspiration.

For each question there are three answers:

Type each answer into Flickr search. Choose an image from only the first page that comes up, then copy and paste each of the URL’s into the mosaic maker .

Et voila! You have your box of Creative Goodies!

1. What three things/objects inspire you to play?
a.
b.
c.

2. What three places invoke a dream state for you?
a.
b.
c.

3. What three artists/artistic styles do you most admire?
a.
b.
c.

4. What three things do you do to lift your energy?
a.
b.
c.

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My answers:

1. What three things/objects inspire you to play?
a. 3D Digitals
b. Art Supplies
c. Magazines

2. What three places invoke a dream state for you?
a. Light houses
b. Tree Houses
c. Purple Sunsets

3. What three artists/artistic styles do you most admire?
a. Magic realism
b. Art Deco
c. Art Nouveau Architecture

4. What three things do you do to lift your energy?
a. Music and dancing
b. Walking
c. Going for a coffee with my journal and a book

If you do it, please feel free to use Mr Linky's widget below, and I will pop on by and cheer your box of creative goodies! :) Make sure you add the post URL not the blog URL. Have FUN! :)